Atlanta, Part 2

So I'm actually sitting in the MBA lounge right now writing this and waiting for my final class of first year to begin. Yes, I could've stayed in my apartment on my comfortable purple couch and written this, but there are clothes strewn around a suitcase sitting on my living room floor right now and that was cramping my creativity.

So Atlanta, Part 2. I slept in in the morning (well, slept in for me) and then went to go find my new apartment. I was a little scared about this because the rent is super cheap and one of the Airtran guys made a comment about not going out alone at night. Yes, the outside is sketchtacular (you can feel free to use that word as needed) and kinda looks like a crack house, but inside it's really nice (and again really cheap), so I think I'll be ok. Plus with all the traveling I'm planning to do this summer, who needs a place to live.

From there I decided to do some shopping, though I didn't buy anything. I had lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen (which I love). I wasn't really feeling the shopping vibe. I was super super tired, so I went back to the hotel and was inspired to have a massage. Yummy. Except apparently the masseuse had scratchy nails or something because when I was showering off I realized I had red scratches all over. Kinky.

For dinner, the Airtran people took me to FAB a super swanky French bistro. I had assumed that they had been there before, but obviously not as my French skillz were called into play to translate some of the menu items. In between our appetizers and soup/salad course, they brought finger bowls for us to rinse our fingers in. None of the Airtran people knew what they were, but I did and looked like a high class genius. I swear our party of 5 must've had a bill close to $1000. We had pre-dinner cocktails, a couple of bottles of wine, several appetizers (including a mixing bowl sized container full of the best mussels I have ever eaten), soup/salad, and pretty pricey entrees. I was so full by time I got home. But it was absolutely delicious.

The next morning I was going to go work out in the hotel's fitness facility in the morning, until I realized I had no socks (I always forget socks for some reason), so instead I walked to a Caribou coffee to get a bagel and coffee. I then drove to the airport, returned my rental car, flew back to Raleigh and drove back to Winston. All in all a very good trip.

Atlanta, Part 1

I'm splitting my awesome trip to Atlanta into two more readable (and more write-able parts). AirTran told me that I had to come to Atlanta to be background checked and drug tested and if I wanted to spend some time to get to know the area, then I could do that too. I had decided that this would be like a mini-vacation for me, which I desperately needed.

I had to drive to Raleigh because AirTran doesn't fly from Greensboro, so that was like an hour and a half drive, but not bad. I was waiting in the gate area when they called me up to the desk and handed me a boarding pass for first class. Wow...my first trip as an A+ platinum rewards member, and I already get a free upgrade. I think the best part of first class for me was the little snack basket that you get to pick from, so instead of just getting pretzels, there were bags of milano cookies or trail mix or about a dozen other snack items better than pretzels. (Disclaimer: Snack basket was the best part because I didn't partake in any of the free booze.)

Arriving in Atlanta, picked up my rental car that they had provided for me and then got lost on my way to the office. They had e-mailed me google maps directions that told me to get on 279, but no one knew where 279 was. I had a GPS in my rental car, but it wouldn't let me put in the exact address (address was 3200, GPS only let me put in 31 something.) I eventually found it. We went to lunch at the Marriott where they had a pasta stir fry bar very similar to the one in the ND dining halls (how I miss you North Dining hall). Back at the office, I filled out some paperwork, got fingerprinted and saw my very own cubicle (which already had my name on it and everything).

From there, I had to get drug tested. I'd never had been drug tested before, and had no idea how hard core it is. Making you lock up your stuff and washing your hands while the woman watches. Crazy. After all that was taken care of, I went and checked into my AWESOME hotel. My room had it's own doorbell.

Isn't that insane? When housekeeping came the next day to bring me more towels, not only did they ring the doorbell, but when I answered they asked for permission to come in. What hotel does that?

For dinner we went for sushi at Zuma which was pretty good except that it wasn't with rice or in roll form or anything. It was just raw fish which is my least favorite preparation of sushi. It's a texture issue, so that was a little disappointing. At dinner, the AirTran people informed me that their goal was to make sure I "have the coolest internship at Wake Forest" which I fully support. They asked me all sorts of questions about what I like, what bands I like, what sports I like, do I smoke cigars, and would I be opposed to going to the Bahamas (uh...no!) so that they will be able to cater to my every whim. oh yeah, I also found out that my free flight privileges transfer to a friend, so Joy and I will be traveling EVERYWHERE. After dinner, we went to this improv comedy show at Dad's Garage which was hysterical.

The Word of the Day

I'm taking a ridiculous entrepreneurship class called Creativity and Feasibility as an elective this mini (a mini = basically a quarter of the year). The syllabus basically went out the window on Day 1, the professor has told everyone that they would get either an A or an A- and everyone (including the professor) usually shows up about 15 minutes late. Usually I spend this class period e-mailing Andy who is not in this ridiculous class, but rather is next door in a probably non-ridiculous class on Six Sigma.

Last week as part of our regular e-mailing back and forth Andy told me that he would give me bonus points if I could work the word "unicorn" into class discussion. Not one to back down from a challenge, I, of course, did. I found this to be an exciting little challenge for me and actually helped me pay attention to class more because I had to try to figure out when to work in my special word. I decided that this should be continued.

Today's word he gave me was "anemone" and sadly, I failed. I even had a perfect place to fit it in. They were talking about partnerships and I was going to work in a comment about symbiosis and a clown fish and an anemone. Perfect, right? I unfortunately have difficulty saying the word anemone and by time I had correctly formulated it in my brain, the discussion had shifted and my moment had passed. So now, I'm 1 and 1 which doesn't make me very happy. Can't wait to see what word I get on Thursday!

Our Prayers Have Been Answered

My mom recently informed me that my delinquent cousin has been transferred out of jail....booo..., but I arrived home today to find a letter from prison in my mailbox. While it's nowhere near her funniest, I feel the need to blog about it anyway because it's the last one. In related news, Joy and I have a bet on how many months before she gets thrown back in jail. I got 2-6 months. Joy has 8-12....anyone else wanna get in on this action?

"I love the paper and envelope its so cute... (I have no idea what crappy stationary I sent her this time. probably something I got at a birthday party in like 5th grade.) Im lucky that I got it (herpes?) well I'll be leaving on the 26th (wow, that's today. How apropos) for sure so you don't need to write me back i'll call you like a week or so after the 26th (oh, I'm sorry, I'll be in China. such a shame) and give you the address then you can send me pictures there (pictures? what?) also let aunt jan know that i'll call her like a week or so after the 26th and give her the address too! (She will be soooo thrilled). I can't wait. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. I just can't wait to see what its like in there and what exactly I can and can't do! (I hate to disappoint you, but I'm thinking pot is still a no no.) I'd like to go golfing on an 18 hole course sometime (oh, I bet you would) I think it would be fun plus i want to see how far i can hit it! i played that tiger woods game before. (not the same.) so where will you be staying in ATL (like I would tell you)? will you get a apt. or something for the summer? (no, I'm living on the street in a cardboard box). I know this is short but i wanted to let you know what's up...."

Oh...so short...but yet so deep.

Is This Even a Legal Document?

Wow, I have so much to blog about that I've started putting ideas for blog posts on my task list in outlook. Crazy. Good thing I'm still getting up early so I have time to blog all this great stuff. And can you believe that in two weeks I'll be in China. Guess what else! I've been named an official blogger for the school for the China trip. Obviously those official blog posts will not be nearly as snide as these are (and so by default less hysterically funny), but still it should be fun, and I promise to put my own JSto twist on them.

This summer I'm interning in Atlanta and found a place to live that basically sounds like a dorm for grad students/interns except in the middle of the a really cool part of town instead of on campus. I just got my lease from the random guy I've been e-mailing with, and it is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Can a lease be funny? I'm pulling out some of my favorite direct quotes. I'm leaving the best paragraph for last so if you happen to be reading this at work and the boss comes, make sure you go back at some point and at least read that one (not that I would ever condone reading my blog at work...who am I kidding? of course I condone that! I used to blog at work!)

"to the extent that downloading large files slows DSL for everyone, JSto agrees, if necessary, to limit her use of DSL to ordinary internet browsing, e-mail, text files, ordinary text documents, etc...this paragraph is in the lease in an abundance of caution to insure that everyone has access to functioning DSL service in that, about three years ago, a couple of Georgia Tech students were downloading extraordinarily large files and programs for a business application and causing DSL problems." --- the love the words "abundance of caution" and also that he gives the whole background story

"JSto acknowledges that she will be the only occupant of the room though she may have visitors."---I'm really surprised he doesn't go into more detail to specify when a "visitor" becomes and occupant.

"If notified by management to clean up something she soiled, JSto agrees to clean up the area immediately, completely and cheerfully." ---yes, mom

And my absolute favorite part, which will need no further commentary from me: "JSto also agrees not to have a pet without written approval of the lessor. JSto agrees not to go to the Humane Society (which is three buildings down the street), find a pet, and have the Humane Society call for the landlord's permission for JSto to have the pet without first consulting the lessor, and understands that if she does indeed go to the Humane Society, finds a pet, and has the Humane Society call for the landlord's permission for the pet, JSto understands that the landlord/lessor will deny such permission. This paragraph does not mean that JSto cannot ever have a pet -- it just means that JSto needs to obtain prior approval before going to the Humane Society, meeting a cute companion and falling in love--and putting the lessor in teh position of possibly denying JSto the companionship of her new love."

Seriously, that is taken verbatim from my new lease.

A Schedule Update

Well, still going strong with the new schedule. It's been working out awesome. I've been getting so much done (if you haven't noticed from my blog posts ramping up). My "team" loves it because they went to bed with a messed up paper and woke up to find a completely edited version in their e-mail inboxes. It seems to be completely sustainable as my actual issue has been waking up TOO early. Last night I was at Joy's for our weekly TV/wine night and didn't get to bed till 10:30, but I woke up at 4:30 AM (even though my alarm was set for 5). That's obviously not enough sleep, but I'm not sure how to make that better.

There are some other things I've been struggling with:
1) My routine is all screwed up. I used to wake up and had a specific order of things and knew how long it took and had my steps all planned out until I left for school. Now because I'm doing my homework in the morning and that varies so much in how long it takes to do, sometimes I'm like oh...I have another half hour before I have to leave what else can I do and other times I'm like oh shit! I need to get going.

2) Taking shit from people. Joy keeps telling me I'm an old woman, and that I'll start eating dinner at 3:30 in the afternoon. Also, normally the first thing I do when I get up is check my e-mail. When I decide to reply to someone at that time I undoubtedly get a "wow, you're up early" response. Additionally, Andy is giving me crap for not getting up early enough. Ugh.

3)My stomach doesn't get it. I'm still pretty much hungry from around 5am-11am. Lunch time and dinner are still ok, it's just breakfast that's a problem.

4) This is going to sound stupid, but for some reason I'm not used to turning on the lights in the morning. And even though it's now darker when I get up, I still don't turn on the light. I don't know if I think that my eyes will adjust or what, but I usually end up running into stuff.

I'll give you another update in another few days after I'll have been doing this for about a week.

Happy Earth Day

It's time for my annual How to Save the Earth in 25 easy steps blog. I will also mention that while I am typing this at 8:00 AM, I have been up for three hours and so my little schedule experiment is still in effect (more on that in a future blog). As said in years past, these are all things that I in fact do myself, or would not be recommending them otherwise.

1) Remove your lids before you recycle. All of you should realize that you are supposed to remove the lids from your bottles before you recycle...but how many of you know how important this is? At many recycling plants, if they find bottles with lids on them they throw the bottle in the trash rather than remove the lid. Great recycling!!
2) And while you're at it, take your plastic lids to any AVEDA salon and have them recycle the lids! Aveda will recycle any hard plastic lid (soda bottles, shampoo bottles, toothpaste, laundry detergent) for no charge. Click on the link above for more details.
3) Educate yourself and others. I regularly read books, websites, etc. on "green" topics. There are some "green" things that are slightly controversial, and I think it's important for you to weigh the pros and cons of each. A lot of these hints are coming from one of my most recent reads: The Big Green Purse by Diane MacEachern.
4)Eco-Friendly Dry Cleaning: There are several different types of "green" dry cleaning. I recently started taking my dry cleaning to the Dry Cleaning Station which is committed to using environmentally friendly methods. My clothes feel and smell nicer than with traditional dry cleaning too!
5) Use all in one cleansers. Cut down on the amount of packaging you are using by just using one cleanser for everything. While you think you need that one specifically for counter tops or whatever, I'll break the news to you, that's actually all just a marketing ploy.
6) Stop buying CDs. EVERYONE has a MP3 player, right? What do you need a CD for when you probably don't like half the songs anyway? Just buy the MP3's. If you're worried about listening in your car, once you find the songs you actually like THEN burn a cd.
7) Buy concentrated. Whether it's juice or laundry detergent, buy concentrated to use less packaging.
8) Cut down on your personal chemicals. Do you really need a separate lotion for your feet? All those different chemicals aren't good for you or the environment, so try to cut out one product. Or cut out a day of the week by taking a makeup free day when you're not going out of the house.
9) Educate others. I think this was in one of my previous lists, but it's super important. First think about how what you're doing is helping the environment. Now think about how great it would be if all your friends were doing that too! Earth Day is a great opportunity. Post an earth friendly reminder on your facebook!
10) Ask people what they want for a present and then give it! The next time a birthday or holiday comes up and you have no idea what to get someone, ASK! It will reduce the number of unwanted presents being regifted, donated or (gasp) thrown away.
11) Compost! Don't give me the "I live in an apartment" excuse. There are plenty of ways to compost for everyone. I'm lucky enough to have a neighborhood compost pile and my mom gave me a counter top compost container that has a filter so I just keep everything in there until I'm driving by the compost pile.
12) Buy local...like wine. It seems like vineyards are almost everywhere now. And while there are some pretty terrible local vineyards, there are some pretty good ones too. Do your research!
13) Read the labels. Less ingredients is more. Look for the seals of approval such as certified organic, shade grown, fair trade, etc.
14) Take your shoes off. When you enter your house, take your shoes off. This lengthens the life of your carpet and reduces the need for carpet cleaners.
15) Watch TV with a friend -- save energy and have fun!
16) Students, rent your text books. I use Chegg.com and LOVE IT!
17) Avoid anti-bacterials...ok, germophobes, I'm ready for you to jump all over me, but hear me out. A 2005 US FDA panel concluded there is no benefit to using antibacterials over just soap and water. In addition, the chemicals are bad for the environment (and the general health overall because of increasing immunities to antibiotics).
18) Dryer balls. This is one of those controversial topics, but I'll give you my point of view and then you can decide. I use dryer balls instead of fabric softener. Yes, dryer balls are made of PVC's that aren't recyclable. But (until recently) I wasn't recycling the lids of fabric softener containers either. Plus reusable dryer balls save the energy used to produce multiple containers of fabric softener...it's up to you.
19) Make your own cleaners. A lot of places tell you to make your own cleansers using vinegar, I do not for the fear that my house will smell like vinegar all the time. I do however use baking soda instead of buying soft scrub and it works excellently.
20) Read online rather than print. Whether it's newspapers or your marketing case, read the online version and save paper.
21) Water plants in the morning or early evening. You'll lose less water from evaporation.
22) Recycle your batteries. If you are not using rechargeable batteries (which you should be), take them to places like Best Buy that have recycling programs and while you're at it drop off your ink cartridges there as well.
23) Wash your laundry in cold water. It does just as good of a job.
24) Get rid of clutter before you move (and don't just throw it out either!) Not only will unpacking be a lot easier, you'll save gas from not transporting all that extra crap.
25) "Sleep" your computer. If you're going to be away from your computer for more than 20 minutes, put your computer to bed and save energy.

Get out there Planeteers!

My New Schedule

This all started this morning. And before I tell you exactly what happened, I need to give you a little background on my normal sleep schedule. Normally I go to bed at 11pm and set my alarm for 7am. This is the same no matter whether I start classes at 8am or 9:45am, I still get up at the same time. The only deviation from this is Saturday and Sunday when I don't set my alarm and just wake up whenever (usually around 8am). Even though my alarm is set for 7, I normally wake up around 6:50 and just lay there for 10 minutes till my alarm goes off and then get up.

That brings me to this morning. This morning, I woke up, laid there and my alarm never went off. I thought to myself "gee, i must've gotten up earlier today for some reason, I wonder what time it actually is." I rolled over and saw that my clock said 4:18. Other than being really thirsty, I'm not really sure why I became completely awake and alert at 4:18. I tried for about a half hour to fall back asleep, then got up and wrote some e-mails, then tried for another half hour to go back to sleep and finally at around 5:30-ish, gave up on sleeping. The weird thing is that I was ultra-productive. No one was around to e-mail me (or warrant me checking my e-mail), no one was on facebook, and there was nothing that was on TV...so I went to the gym, did a bunch of marketing summit stuff, e-mailed a bunch of people about apartments for the summer, read my homework for ICP and cleaned my bathroom...it was really great.

My friend Andy is on a sleep 8pm-4am schedule which I have previously ridiculed when he has tried to convince me of the merits of such a schedule, but now this has me thinking. It was really really great. As long as I could actually make myself be fully awake, this might work. This could also be the perfect time to switch to such a schedule because I only slept 5 hours last night, it's almost 2pm and I'm still going strong so theoretically around 8-9 pm, I should be ready to go to bed. i'm thinking of a 9pm-5am schedule, because 4am just sounds ridiculous. The only thing I have to really work out is food because I was ready for lunch at around 9am.

This is going to end one of 3 ways. 1) I love the new schedule become super productive and live a happy and fulfilling life as an early bird. 2) It's ok. I go back to my unproductive life only shift it earlier and then decide whether to switch my schedule back or not or 3) (probably the most entertaining option) I force myself to get up early for a week which backfires horribly. I end up being in a coma-like state thus losing a week of my life and eventually give up and go back to going to bed at 11. I'll keep you posted.

Another Great Father/Daughter Moment

Me: I had a dream about you last night. You got kicked out of Disney world for making inappropriate comments to the costume characters at a character breakfast.
My Dad: That wasn't a dream. It was a repressed memory from your childhood.

The Quickest Way To Make My Blog

Send me an awesome care package. That is exactly what Amanda 2 and Danielle did, so now I get to tell you about the awesome stuff that I got.

Amanda 2's was a complete surprise which made it all the more awesome. First in her package:
I had posted Amanda's scrap paper art that she used to leave on my desk at Girl Scout's before, and so this is a throw back to that. Yes, it's a unicorn eating skittles and pooping rainbows. Ironically about 30 minutes before I got this package in the mail, I got yelled at by my learning team for drawing a rainbow on the white board and was told "are you going to draw a unicorn next?" Creepy.

Also in Amanda 2's package were:

My new favorite paperclips. Take that Airtran airplane paperclips. I also got a very nice letter, some cool black and white tacks which are already on my corkboard, the pen she stole from Jumbo Buffet, and the "Major Impact" marker which we keep sending back and forth. (There's a inside joke that goes along with major impact, but it's too dirty to post on my blog.)

Now onto Danielle's care package. I'm not sure how the idea of her sending me a care package first came about, but she's been telling me for months that she's going to send me one. She kept calling me and telling me she was buying stuff for it, so it was much hyped and anticipated.

I'm going to tell you EVERYTHING that is in it because I think everything deserves mentioning.

• an envelope stuffed with random coupons (inspired by my mom's care packages of course) so if anyone needs Pampers or Fixodent, let me know and I'll hook you up.
• Random newspaper articles. When I used to send Danielle her box of crap or random letters in college, I included newspaper articles that were mostly things about Notre Dame teams beating Penn State teams. (one of the articles she sent me was Police: Recruit Drunk. Unfortunately I read this without the colon and with "recruit" as a verb. I expected some hilarity, but instead the story was about the Notre Dame football recruit that fell off a balcony and died. Sad.)
• A turtle watering can, which I have already used.


• A stuffed monkey, which was only added to stabilize the other items in the box.
• an ashtray with a middle finger sticking up that I had previously gifted to her in one of her birthday boxes.
• A West Side Story DVD (oh high school music class. What great memories!
• Hungrey Hungry Hippos Play-Doh playset, which I think Danielle is more excited about than I am


• Reese's peanut butter (of course)
• Ritz pretzel crisps which look yummy.
• Princess markers
• Princess color roll posters
• A 24 pack of crayons (to color my princess posters)
• a princess icepack


• Fairy lunchbags
• a fairy pez dispenser
• Sour patch candies
• Sluggles gummies
• Sleepytime tea
• an Alice in Wonderland pin (which she bought a few years ago at the Rose Bowl)
• AND High School Musical scented highlighters

Ahh...such great friends.

My Ridiculous Saturday

I've decided to blog in order to take my mind off of the raging class/job/marketing summit ulcer that is currently forming in my stomach. Saturday was a charity golf outing. I had received an e-mail from a girl in my class saying she wanted to form an "all-female foursome" and that you didn't have to be good, the goal was just to have fun. Perfect! I signed up. Little did i know, I would be the only one on the team to ever have golfed 18 holes. It was...interesting...I gave some lessons on golf etiquette and even though we came in last (and won free golf balls), had lots of fun (and may or may not have purposely tried to hit the drunk foursome in front of us). Though not as fun as some. Apparently there were people that went swimming in the lake, tucked and rolled out of a cart at full speed, and teed off naked. Did I mention there was free beer? Also for our enjoyment there was a wedding at the golf club where the colors were camo. Nice.

After a long day of golf, I forced myself to be social and go to my friend Kathleen's party. Boy am I glad I did. I guess the real excitement started when someone showed up with fireworks. No one was really paying attention until someone warned us that he was lighting something on the balcony. Yep, he set off one of those big "black cat" canister things (I don't really know firework lingo) off basically in a tree. Luckily it was only one shot because the recoil caused it to spin around and would've shot a second shot through the window into her living room. We all rushed into the apartment ,and Kathleen sprayed Burberry perfume all over to cover up the firework smell. It didn't really work. We hid the rest of his fireworks. Somehow about an hour later he got them back. He decided to launch a bottle rocket out in the parking lot. We tried to convince him to go to the tennis courts, but that was to far away. At one point, we thought a police car was coming, but luckily it turned out to be a taxi. Everyone watched safely from the stairwell as the first rocket went up. Then he got the idea to try to send a beanie cow into orbit by strapping three rockets to its back.

Upon seeing this, someone said "I have a bad feeling about this" and then helped him to connect all the fuses together in the hopes that the rockets would go off together. But they didn't. We watched even further up on the stairwell this time; hopefully out of rocket range. The first one went up, and the other two went out to the side. The cow stayed put, but had pretty bad third degree burns and then we all ran back into Kathleen's apartment.

Upon telling this story to Danielle, she responded by saying "I forget that these people are our age and not just stupid college kids." So how much longer can I get away with doing ridiculous things like this? Also at Kathleen's was drunken singing, a short lived ice luge, and a first year vs second year cups tournament, but after the fireworks nothing was really that exciting.

The LAST ::sniff sniff:: Letter from Prison

I should be reading about KFC's operations in Japan right now, but I'm not. Instead, it is a sad and solemn day as the last letter from prison (at least for like a week or so until she undoubtedly gets thrown back in) is posted. (A moment of silence please). My final comments will be in parenthesis as usual.

"I went to court yesterday and I made out so good I got exactly what I needed (a swift kick in the ass? a punch in the face?) and wanted ! (oh, boo) I'm going to the salvation army it's a 6 1/2 month program but i don't know to much about it yet (except that it will get me out of jail and so obviously I'm all for that). I just need to go thru the application process and get a bed. then i'll be out (God help us all). I'm so excited im a lil nervous too (lil? as in lil kim?)! so what did you and aunt jan do while she was there (she cleaned my entire apartment, told me I was too "perfumey" and watched A LOT of basketball.) Did you end up eating ham? (yes, yes we did and this broccoli stuff out of my paula dean cookbook which was amazing. Paula Dean is a freakin' goddess.) I'm glad that I'm getting out now that the weathers warmer so i can wear flip flops too (I guess there's no prison issue flip flops). its so much cheaper than sneakers to match each outfit (uh...how many pairs of flip flops do you think you're stealing...err..buying) well hopefully when i get down there I'll be able to call you like once a week (NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) (I like that the no actually runs off the page of the blog. I thought about fixing it, but decided I liked the effect) instead of having to write cause im so tired of writing (yes, writing is so taxing) but i love getting mail. (thank you caller ID) I cant wait to shave (oh God) it looks like I got buckwheat in a leg lock (she first wrote head lock and then crossed off head and wrote leg. I really could've done without either of those images). hopefully next time you come to PA (never) i'll be able to see you (never) and we can go out to eat or something (never)...I can't wait to eat a big juicey steak (and there is absolutely no way, I'm springing for a steak for your ass). and drink some OJ and cranberry juice (in the words of Joy, and what will you be mixing with that juice?) well I guess Im gonna go you can still write me back here cause i'm not leaving yet (I sent her a letter the day I got this one so that hopefully we might get one more letter back) Happy Easter"

Well, its been a fun run of non-punctuation, poor spelling, horrific grammar, bizarre abbreviations, and shank stories...I'm sad to see it go because now I'll have to come up with something original...boo

The 10 Things I've Learned From Farmville

Yes, I'm one of those annoying people who do Farmville on Facebook. I can't stop though. It's like crack. Also, I realize that Farmville isn't supposed to be exactly logical, but I try to make it logical and there's things that bother me, for example

1) You dig in the ground and can find things like fuel. Isn't that some sort of bio hazard or something?
2) You can also find thing from digging around like salt and pepper shakers, a pruning saw, thimbles, etc. Did I build my farm on a landfill?
3) You can hatch an egg and get a cottage. Yes, I get that they are magic "golden" eggs, but I'm still not sure that this is how houses work.
4)Chocolate milk comes from brown cows and strawberry milk comes from pink cows and even though I have cows that for some reason have referee jerseys and whistles, they still only give white milk.
5) A turkey, a cow, and a baby elephant are all around the same size and all are bigger than a fruit stand.
6) Penguins can survive in the same climate that you can grow sunflowers in. And I'm still not sure how I harvest ice cubes from the penguin and get money from it.
7) You can put little bobby headbands with eggs or shamrocks on sheep and they don't really seem to care as long as it is around a holiday.
8) Raspberries grow REALLY fast in about two hours, but blueberries are a pain in the ass and take FOREVER....four days. I hope kids are taking home tomato plants from school and hoping to harvest tomatoes in 8 hours.
9) Maple trees, durian trees, lemon trees, gulmohar trees, almond trees, olive trees, starfruit trees and apple trees can all grow in the same climate....along with many other types of trees.
10) Speaking of trees, I can also harvest Christmas ornaments and Mardi Gras beads from trees as well. I'm waiting for my money tree to come around.

Well, I Don't Have An Internship, But...

I got a lot of pretty cool free stuff. I had an interview with AirTran in Atlanta last Thursday and am just now getting around to putting my free stuff away. They had given me a bag of stuff and said they had given me some paperclips...ooo...paperclips, I can hardly contain my excitement. Little did I know...

YES, they are shaped like airplanes. How cool is that! I also got AirTran Legos and a key chain and some other not so cool stuff.

Probably the weirdest free stuff I got was when I went to Hanes and got to pick out a bunch of underwear. Then the woman was like "what size do you think Joy wears? Pick out some underwear for her." My friend Joy was interviewing there as well and had already gone on a tour, but had not gotten to get to rummage through the free underwear box. So I picked some out and the weird woman was like "Pick out some boxers for Armando. What size do you think he wears?" Now this was even weirder because Armando was another guy who was interviewing that day and does not even go to Wake. (PS I'm not sure if his name was actually Armando or not.) Joy now likes to say inappropriate things to me in class like "I'm wearing the panties you picked out for me." Nice. I'm also torn because I really like the underwear they gave me but am a little bitter since they didn't hire me. ::sigh::

I May Actually Read This

I just got yesterday's mail out of the mailbox (because after going to the gym in the morning, I spent all day yesterday in flannel cheshire cat pajama pants.) In my mailbox was a "free gift." Hmmm...it's a "heartwarming inspirational romance" called "Jenna's Cowboy Hero." What exactly is an inspirational romance? I thought I'd check out the back cover to see if it gave any clue. I'll put my thoughts in parenthesis.

"Former football player Adam Mackenzie (could you find a more wholesome name?) arrives in small-town Oklahoma (or a more wholesome setting?) to fix up a camp for underprivileged kids. (of course, he is). But the city slicker doesn't know horse tack from a touchdown. (i think it would've been catchier had they said horse tack from a football tackle. Cause it's like a play on words). He's desperate for help (of course he is) and the pretty rancher next door is the answer to his prayers. (now by prayers are we just saying prayers or are we actually going to go into detail of prayers because this is an "inspirational romance") War vet Jenna is back home after a stint in Iraq (of course she is), and she's got a five-year plan: raising her twin boys, running her ranch and not falling in love (uh-oh, I think Adam may cause problems in her five year plan). But she can't say no to gorgeous and kind Adam (who could?). Can he make her forget all her plans and open her heart to love? (come on, I have to find out it Adam can make Jenna open her heart to love, don't I?)"

PS the picture on the cover has a grassy meadow with horses a farm and a church in the background. In the foreground is a man in a cowboy hat leading two what I'm assuming are twin boys on a horse.

Unlimited Tapas

For spring break I went to DC to visit former GSHPA coworker Kate (you may remember her as a guest blogger when I was on vacation one time. She posted some very apathetic letters of apology.)

It was a great couple of days, and I'll just pull out some of the highlights.

I arrived there Tuesday afternoon and Kate warned me almost as soon as I arrived that we were going to "Girl's Night" with her friends and that the girl in charge of the dinner that evening can't cook and usually doesn't make enough food. "We can stop on the way home for something to eat." But it turned out great, there were lots of funny topics of conversation: rubber pants, the musical stylings of Robert Pattinson, the ineptitude of the federal government, one of the friends singing in the bathroom, and several other things that I'm sure I've blocked from my memory. We gave one of the girls a ride to her apartment building and as we were pulling away police were suddenly swarming and blocking off streets. Apparently just after we left there was a shooting on the block. The real DC experience.

The next topic that I feel the need to discuss is Kate's dog, Rosie.

She looks innocent doesn't she? Rosie is a rat terrier/jack russell mix. When I was four or five, my dad brought home a rat terrier. We named her Teela (I really like He-Man and Teela was the girl on He-Man). Anyway, rat terriers are CRAZY. However, I already knew this, so I knew when Rosie would growl while holding her toy that she really just wanted to play tug of war or that when she ran laps around the living room at break neck speed that that was normal. Kate's other friends are scared of Rosie and because I wasn't (or just because I have a glowing golden aura) I became Rosie's new best friend. One day we came home from wherever and Kate let Rosie out of her pen in the kitchen. Rosie rand right past Kate and jumped on me.

Wednesday evening we took the Metro in for dinner. I got yelled at by some lady because I was apparently in her way. Then on the way home on the Metro Kate got told that her feet were "as pretty as your face." She had painted her toenails day glo pink, but upon further discussion we discovered the woman was actually talking about the way her toes were shaped. Bizarre.

So for dinner on Wednesday we went for $1 sushi at Epicurean and Company. Yes, $1 sushi. It does sound too good to be true, doesn't it? Then we followed that up with dessert and drinks at Kramer's (and possibly some crab nachos as well). So so good.

The next day we went for UNLIMITED TAPAS for lunch at La Tasca in Chinatown.

(You can see Kate's day glo nails in the picture). We originally were going to take the metro, but the lot at the metro station was full (Kate basically paid $4.50 to drive around the parking garage) so we just drove to Chinatown. I can not even put into words right now how good unlimited tapas was. My mouth is watering as I'm trying to describe the various dishes we had. There was some cheesy bread (which we didn't actually order, but they brought anyway), fried potatoes, paella, chicken croquettas, chorizo, shrimp and bacon wrapped scallops, and a tomato salad. It also included dessert. I got basically a vat of rice pudding.

We also had a berry champagne sangria (it's the Cava Sangria on the wine list) which was unbelievably good. It had all these blueberries in it, but they were on the bottom of the pitcher. So when I took the last glass of sangria, I left half of the berries there for Kate, but our waitress swooped down and took them.

Then we went to Potomac Mills shopping. I LOVE this mall. Next time I go though, I'm taking a tent to take a little nap in halfway through because we were exhausted. I bought lots of cute things (obviously), but more importantly is what I didn't buy that I'm now kinda regretting. At Nordstrom RACK (rack is in capitals because that's how it was on the sign and when I would say it I would yell RACK) I found this pair of neon green 4 1/4" heel Jimmy Choo's in my size that after discount would've been $70 (original price $539). However, I realized the total cost of ownership would've been much higher since I would've undoubtedly broken my ankle. I'm regretting not getting them, but I'm pretty sure I would've regretted getting them as well.

After much shopping, we were still not really hungry because of unlimited tapas, so on the way home we stopped at IceBerry, which is a PinkBerry knockoff. It was still yummy. I had honeydew frozen yogurt with mango, pineapple and coconut. While Kate was ordering I saw a brochure holder for Dahn yoga. I told Kate that I thought I had seen Dahn yoga on The Secret Lives of Women and was pretty sure that it was a cult. We looked it up. It is. So Kate's frozen yogurt place may also be recruiting for a cult.

Thursday I drove home. I finished listening to my book on CD, Water for Elephants, which is pretty good except the graphic scenes of circus freak sex kinda weirds me out and also there are some pretty sad parts and crying while driving on the highway isn't so good.

Quotes from Yoga

Today in Yoga there were some very interesting things being said. I would like to share. There is profanity involved which I normally censor but am not today because I'd like to keep the integrity of the quotes in tact.

"I almost forgot to come to class because I was laying on my hammock naked." ( 1. Too much information 2. it's not really that warm out 3. Be glad I don't have a picture of this woman or you'd be mentally scarred like I am.)

"Well, isn't that just a mind fuck." (I don't really know what this was in regards of. They were looking at the woman's yoga mat at the time. Also, you have to imagine this being said with a heavy southern drawl. It makes it better.)

"Now if you kinda focus through your hand, you can see beams of energy shooting out your fingers. Isn't that cool?!?!" (somebody smoked somethin' before yoga today!)

"We're no longer allowed to say 'tuck your tailbone.' We now have to say 'tuck your anal area.' Because when we say 'tuck your tailbone' women tend to close off their vagina." (Tuck your anal area sounds SSOOO much better. Apparently a closed vagina is bad in yoga.)

My Tragic Flaw

In all tragedies the hero has a tragic flaw that ultimately leads to his downfall. Luckily (or unluckily) I know what my tragic flaw is...snide and otherwise sarcastic remarks. I have this censor in my head that prevents all the really inappropriate comments that fly through it from reaching my mouth. I realize that at some point this censor is going to become broken down and retire/die/just refuse to do his job and that's going to be bad (but extremely humorous for everyone around me).

For example, today I had my Disney interview and the interviewer asked "Do you have any visible tattoos?" and within 2 milliseconds the following things flew through my head.

"Define 'visible'"
"Do prison tattoos count?"
"well, i have a Minnie Mouse on my neck."
"I prefer the term 'body art'"
"Yes, 32"

Luckily, the censor was on the job and filtered all those comments and turned them into "no". Censor in my head, thanks for all you do. That job must suck. You get shitty pay and have to deal with all my crap. I'm on spring break right now, so why don't you take a little vacation. (Wouldn't that be ridiculous if I spent a whole week saying all the crazy shit that comes into my head?)

Things that Annoy Me

For any of you that don't know, I really like to make cookies. I have a recipe book (that I actually have yet to use) called 1001 cookie recipes. However, the last two requests I've gotten for cookies to make are not in here. Really? There's 14 types of apricot cookies in there but no chocolate chocolate chip? Ugh. Thank God there's Internet.

Two Phone Conversations

Yes, I'm blogging in class. I've stooped to a new all time low. I've recently had two phone conversations with people that perfectly summarize either the person or my relationship with them. I was going to post them separately, but why should I do a silly thing like that.

The first is with my mom, and it was in regards to my need for a new mixer. For those of you that don't know, my mom is the bargain shopping guru. There's been several times when she's actually bought something and gotten store credit because after they tally all her discounts and coupons and whatever, they realize that they owe her money. So I thought I'd ask her to keep an eye out for a new mixer for me.

Me: Hey, I really want a kitchenaid artisan mixer, preferably in a color that goes along with my kitchen stuff. Can you watch for one on sale for me?
My mom: why?
Me: well, I really hate mine and so I talked to some people, and they recommended the kitchenaid one.
My mom: I know everyone has one, but why do you need one? what's wrong with your current mixer?
Me: (I outline all the reasons previously posted about my hatred for my mixer including that it smells like it's burning sometimes)
My mom: All mixers do that.

This is my typical mom. Just hating something is not a good reason to buy a new one. It has to physically not work before you can spend money on another one and even sometimes when it doesn't work as long as it works "good enough" you still don't need a new one. Looks like I'm on my own for a new mixer.

The next conversation is with Danielle and was part of our almost daily "i'm driving home from work and know you are a student and have nothing to do, so I'll call you" conversation.

Danielle: I just got your...birthday present in the mail. I almost just accidentally told you what it was. (yes, my birthday is in December, but she had to buy something and will hopefully not forget she has it, unlike my pins that she got me at the Rose Bowl a year ago and still has)
Later in the conversation....
Danielle: I got my mom something from Lenox too, but it's on back order.
Me: My birthday present is from Lenox?
Danielle: Whore.
I laugh hysterically.
Danielle: I didn't tell you I got your present from Lenox (at this point, she's trying, not very well, to cover up her mistake.)
Me: No, but you just got my birthday present in the mail and then you said "too".
Danielle: Why do you have to be such a f***ing bitch?

And that's my friendship with danielle, though I have to say the "oatmeal conversation" summarizes it even better.

Handbell Bitterness

When I lived in Indiana, I was in my church's handbell choir. I loved it and don't mind saying was freakin' awesome at it. They gave me the toughest bells they had (A flat, A, B flat, B just above middle C), and I kicked major ass. Then I moved to PA and boo, no handbells. My church in North Carolina just decided to restart their handbell choir, and I was totally psyched. I signed up and even ditched bidding on my friend at the school's "date" auction to go to the first rehearsal (because you can only miss on rehearsal per season...yes, handbells have seasons.)

But God screwed me over. (hi. one way ticket to hell please. Yes, I'm the girl that said God screwed me on my blog.) I show up and apparently because I have played flute and am considered a "temporary" ringer (though I would argue I'm as temporary as some of the elder members of the choir) they gave me the highest bells they have. Even after I told them I could handle twice as many bells as the other members, I honestly play like four notes for an entire song. There is actually a song where I don't play at all. I spent the entire practice turning pages and telling the woman beside me when to play. Because, did I mention, she doesn't read music? (is that the C? No, that's A. Do I play A? No, you play C and B.) Really? You gave her better bells than me? Really? Anyway, I'm really bitter. Joy thinks there's probably some bribery taking place under the table, so we'll see if I can move up the bell choir hierarchy.

The Princess and the Mixer

Once upon a time, in a land far away there lived a beautiful princess. This beautiful (and also witty, intelligent, and humble) princess loved to make magical cookies for all of her subjects. When the princess was just fair maiden, her thoughtful (and somewhat thrifty) mother the queen had given her a mixer from the land of Sunbeam so that she could make lots of magical cookies for everyone (and also as a sign for the princess to get out of the queen's castle and find a kingdom of her own).

The princess was very appreciative, but could not have known that the mixer had been cursed and an evil plot was at foot to take down the awesome princess. Whenever the princess would try to use her mixer it would refuse to mix (thus substantially increasing mixing time). It also had stupid crevices in the beaters which would get magical cookie dough stuck in them and be a pain in the royal ass when the princess tried to wash them. The mixer also would scare the princess when it would sound/smell like it was going to explode/catch on fire. Sometimes the mixer would even become possessed and though it normally spun counter clockwise would all of the sudden decide it would spin ridiculously fast the other way. Just in general it was a shitty mixer.

However, the princess was torn. Her royal treasury was somewhat depleted from general upkeep of her castle (and a somewhat moderate shoe addiction), and knows that a mixer truly worthy of gracing her castle would cost a hefty sum. She loves to grace her subjects with magic cookies, but her accursed mixer (along with her tiny and finicky oven) is making her want to lose her royal mind.

How can this beautiful/funny/smart/caring/creative princess break free from the evil mixer? To be continued...

Letter from the Hell Hole

At Joy's request (the first official b-school person to explore my blog), I'm posting this in the little break between my interview and the wine tasting Happy Hour.

"Well, I'm back in the hell hole (Harrisburg or prison? jk Harrisburg people). I got denied the SIP program because the fight i was in (shocking) which is ridiculous (is it? is it really that ridiculous that you got kicked out of your treatment program for fighting?) but oh well everything happens for a reason. I really didn't want to do that program. (that's what losers say when they don't get something they really want. 'I really wouldn't have known what to do with a million dollars anyway.')

I hope you can figure out where to go for spring break (thinking warm...thinking warm). you should go to Mexico, its pretty cheap there! (so...if you ever go on the run, I'm thinking they should get a notice out to the border patrol?) I want to go to cancun for springbreak sometime so I can be on MTV and meet some rappers. (in the words of my mom 'you have to actually have a springbreak to go on springbreak).

How much is a normal gym membership? when I come home I want to join a gym with tanning beds so I can shape up and tan. (really? your big concern when you get out of jail is getting a tan? Someone's been watching too much Jersey Shore. GTL, baby. GTL.) I've been in jail for 14 months now (14 months of fantastic letters). I'm going crazy. If you have ever have a chance and you take some pictures of the campus and your apartment and send em to me (so I can case the joint and rob you when I get out)? Well I guess I'm gonna go. Miss you."

Fun times... fun times.

Things That Annoy Me

I purchased my own jingly hip scarf. I just got it in the mail today. Also today, I found out my gym took belly dancing off the calendar. GRRR

The Giant Check

This weekend is the Wake Forest marketing summit...which is AWESOME. I was on the kickoff committee. Kickoff is the first event of the weekend. When they were cleaning up after, they asked if anyone would be going to the school the next day to take the trophy and giant prize check. I said I would (and they thought I was actually a responsible person), so they gave them to me. It then rained the whole day, so I was driving around with a giant check in my backseat for a whole day ala Happy Gilmore because I didn't want it to get wet. I really wanted to go in a store and ask if they took checks. Plop it down on the counter and ask if they could break $50,000...I didn't though.

Tonight's the last event of the marketing summit. I'm exhausted and my feet hurt, but I can't wait for next year! (Stay tuned because I just got a letter in the mail from you know who.)

Snow

It snowed in Winston-Salem last night (and most of North Carolina for that matter). They're claiming we got 8 inches though looking outside I think it's 3 maybe 4. I told my dad this, and his response was "well, 3 is the new 8." It made me reflect on the various places I've lived and how they respond to snow.

Winston-Salem, NC: Like I said we got maybe 4 inches. The forecast was for anywhere between 3-11 and people were freaking out! Part of me is thinking that four inches is nothing, and I should go to the gym and grocery store and otherwise go about my life. However, I just spoke to my friend Huls who ventured out, and he said the roads are terrible. They must have like one plow. The other weird thing is that they are recommending people stay inside and people actually are. They showed a clip of the highway, and it was absolutely deserted. It's not even snowing anymore. But that's also partially why the roads are so bad. No one is driving on them in their four wheel drive to make at least ruts in the road that you can follow in. UGH! Four inches is keeping me inside and closing down the city. At least there's good basketball on. It was weird. I was going to go to the gym last night but it had started snowing, and I thought "well, I better stay in." What? Why? It's just a little snow.

Harrisburg, PA: In Harrisburg, people really still overreact to a forecast of snow. They go to the grocery store and stock up and school's announce closings the night before when there's not even a flake on the ground. Generally, once it starts snowing (if it even does), it's no big deal. You come home from work, it snows overnight. By the next morning when it's time to go to work again, the major roads are plowed, so as long as you can make it out of your neighborhood you're ok. The news people say to stay inside, but no one really listens to them. Schools sometimes close and government offices, but a lot of times there's just a delay. Unless of course there's three feet of snow or freezing rain.

South Bend, IN: Most of the snow doesn't really count because it's "lake effect." I'm not sure why lake effect doesn't count because it's still white and cold and you still have to shovel it, but if you say "we're supposed to get a lot of snow tonight" someone will respond "yeah, but it's just lake effect." WTF? Nothing ever closes unless they actually declare a "state of emergency" and actually close the roads. I specifically remember one time that we had gotten 15 inches of snow. They hadn't plowed the cul de sac where I lived, so I had to call the Hall of Fame to tell them I wasn't going to make it in until they plowed. My boss was all huffy because I wasn't coming. Look, my car will physically not go in that much snow...what do you want from me?

I'm also currently having a love/hate relationship with snow. The five year old in me loves snow (because I'm thinking that my friends will call me to go sledding and maybe school will get cancelled) and the 29 year old in me hates it (because I'm going to eventually have to clear off my car and possibly shovel...if i can figure out where I put my shovel.)

Boiled In Oil--A Psychotic Thought of the Day

No, that's not a cutesy play on words or something. This post really is about boiling people in oil. I thought I'd just be up front about it so that you can choose whether this subject will disturb you or not. But come on, I know you can't resist seeing what I could possibly have to say about boiling people in oil. All my links included will be safe, I'm not going to link to any really disturbing boiling in oil informational sites.

I've been watching the old episodes of the Tudors because Season 4 starts sometime soon (I think...I can't believe this is the final season. There were more Tudors after Henry. Granted Edward didn't do a whole lot. He was only 9 but Mary went crazy and burned a bunch of people and then there was Elizabeth. That could be some good TV, right?), and I need to be reminded of who's still alive and dead and married and not and in favor and not in favor. What church is everybody supposed to believe in at this point? Because it is about Henry VIII, and he was kinda fickle. We haven't even begun season 4 yet and we're already done with 4 wives. Good gracious! (I'd also like to take this point to thank the producers or whoever for straying from historical accuracy and deciding to just put really big costumes on Jonathan Rhys Meyers instead of making him get fat and gross looking.)

Anyway, what was this post about? Oh yes, boiling in oil. Every time I turn on another episode I'm scared it's going to be the one that still disturbs me where a person gets boiled in oil for poisoning a bunch of people. Because it was so disturbing, I continued to think about it. And as i thought about it, I wondered if this was really more trouble than it's worth. It takes forever just to boil a big pot of water to make lasagna noodles in. Can you imagine how long it would take to heat a thing of oil big enough to put a person in? And where would you get a pot big enough? Plus it would be spitting everywhere and heaven forbid a grease fire start. Half of London would be burnt down before you could get enough baking soda to put it out. Let's say it goes ok. You get it all heated up and stick the poor person in. Then what? You have a big pot of oil with a fried person inside. You can't just pour that shit in the Thames. It's not that simple of a thing to dispose of. Unlike burning at the stake where there's just some ashes leftover that you wash off with a hose...errr bucket of water....I'm a sick sick person.

Greetings from Jail

I have to admit that this isn't the greatest letter from jail because it doesn't reference shanks or being thrown in the hole or prison tattoos, so I guess I'll try to make up for that with my own comments. Fingers crossed.

"Well gramma must of got them note cards for everyone since you all write me and mom (actually my mom and I just write you...your mom writes us when she wants money) cause nan got them too. (yes, my gramma got note cards for all the females for Christmas that had our names on them. Except Aubrey and Sierra who got blank ones and Sandi who got Sandy ones...oops) Thats pretty cool (no, it's really not) I wonder where gramma got them made? (uh...it's called a store...you go and buy things at it...it's like a commissary, but not in jail). I want to get some when I come home too! (I think you give up your right to personalized note cards when you're in jail. Plus we wouldn't know whether to put your real name or whatever your alias may be. What do you think her alias is? Hmmm...)"

"I hate to waste money (hahahaha...oh really? you hate to waste money? did you or did you not take all your Christmas presents one year and throw them into the snow in gramma's front yard? I guess that was just presents though and not money, right?) even if its $5 and I don't like to waste food either that's why I'm fat (that's not about not wanting to waste food...it's about not being on crack anymore...it's called hunger....though by all accounts she's currently about a size 6). I want to go to a spa after I get out of jail (I'm sorry...you were saying something about money earlier?) you can't take care of yourself in here right and somethings always sore! (I'm really not going to put the inappropriate comment that came into my mind when I read this because I'm ashamed). I just want to be pampered! (poor baby)."

"Why do they do a red rose in Lancaster? (Do=raise for New Year's) I can imagine how cold it was cause its always snowing up here. Does it snow a lot in NC? I've been craving Aunt Jans cookies (aka weed) so bad and some snickerdoodles (aka heroin). I miss cookies (aka drugs) so much....what kinda cookies (aka drugs) do you like to make (aka buy) and eat (aka do)? (I sometimes feel bad about turning all of her most innocent comments into drug references but then I remember that she tried to smoke weed in the bathroom at the magistrates office and think it's fitting.)"

"Oh...you know you can e-mail me right? (why no, I didn't) Just go to inmate e-mail link on the department of corrections.com...but i can't e-mail you back but that would still be cool sometimes to drop a line or two. (I went to this just to see what it is...and it's 60 cents to send an e-mail. RIP OFF!) Well I guess I'm gonna go. Love you."

I can't decide whether I'm going to be happy when she gets out though because no more letters from prison, but most likely real life debauchery instead.

The New Gym

After going to my old gym in PA over Christmas break, I knew that I could no longer put up with the undergrads at the campus gym and had to join a real gym. I came back and joined the Gold's that's down the block from my apartment. I like going to the classes and have already been to a few that are definitely interesting. I thought I'd fill you in on them.

Zumba: I love Zumba at my old gym, and also love it at the new gym. It's taught by this sweet woman with a cute southern accent who talks really fast. She goes through the moves for each song quickly before starting the music, but has funny names for all the moves so it sounds something like this. "It starts with gangster for 8, then sugar cake right, sugar cake left. Drive your Indy car and take the corner. Ride it in a circle, then reverse. There's some Big Birds followed by Supermans and we end with maracas. Ok, let's do it." Excuse me?

Body Pump: Body pump is pretty much the same down here except that they don't have enough equipment or space for everyone that wants to take it, so you have to get there really early to get a pass for the class. All the equipment is old and kinda ghetto. They have metal clips to keep the weights on the bar, and they're really hard to get on and off when you're sweaty. I totally outlifted this guy beside me and made him look like a pansy. It was great.

Yoga: They have a separate yoga room that totally rocks! It has a waterfall thingy and dimmers on the lights and a big ohm symbol painted on the wall. Love it!

Belly Dancing: They don't have urban striptease :-( But they have Belly Dancing :-() I wasn't sure about this class, but I actually really like it. Especially since you get to wear one of those skirts with the jingly coin things on it. The teacher gave me her business card (she belly dances professionally) and she looks like a total porn star on it. I'm also now a star student after one class because I'm coordinated, not 60, and not 7 months pregnant. Go me!

Hula Hooping: Yes, there's a class for Hula Hooping. I had to try it once. The teacher told me not to worry that the hoops they use are bigger and thicker than the ones kids use, so it's easier. I SUCK! I couldn't hula hoop to save my life. Plus then you were expected to speed up and slow down, move around, and do things with your hands. YEAH RIGHT! Then I got home and found that I was bruised all around my middle from the stupid hoop. Don't think I'll be doing that class again.

Still so many more classes that I've yet to try. I'll keep you posted.

Random Observation

The movie theater down here sells pickles. Candy, Nachos, Popcorn and Pickles. Because I know I've always wished that I could sit down to a movie and nosh on a big ol' pickle.

Weird Dreams

Ever since I've gotten back to "The Dash" after break, I've had really weird dreams every night. At first, I just thought it was because I was sick, but I'm not really sick anymore, and I'm still having them. I have no idea what any of them mean, so if anyone has any ideas let me know. Here are just four of my favorite ones...I swear these are all true because when you're reading them your first thought is going to be "who dreams messed up shit like this?" Me, that's who.

The Bath Tub of Gummy Bears: This dream was pretty boring. I was sitting in a bath tub FULL of gummy bears. I was picking out the clear ones around me and eating them ,and I remember thinking in the dream "Is this sanitary?"

The Two Headed Cow: We were over at my cousin's house...though it really wasn't my cousin's house in real life...My whole family was there and we looked out the window and there was a two headed cow out in the field. Only the heads weren't like when you see pictures of two headed creatures and the one head is next to the other one. Instead one head was below the other one like coming out of the cow's neck. While the first head was looking up, the second head was eating grass. Anyway, my grandma went out to the two headed cow. The cow ran away and my grandma started chasing it.

Goodfellas: I was in the movie Goodfellas, only of course it wasn't a movie, it was real life, but Ray Liotta and all the other people from the movie were there. Gangsters were chasing me (not like gangstas, TuPac and Biggie gangstas, but gangsters like mafia gangsters). I went to hide in a hotel and for some reason the concierge at the hotel was helping me. I wanted to hide in the elevator shaft, but he wouldn't let me, so he convinced me to hide in the restaurant. I went and sat in the restaurant, but my mom led the bad gangsters to me (that bitch!), and I got all shot up with a machine gun. As I was being shot, I remember thinking "this doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would."

Saurs of Fire: This dream started off at a picnic ,and they were having a competition to see how many spoons you could hang on your face (I don't know why there was this competition or who would have a competition like this.) Anyway, I got totally ripped off because they gave me really deep measuring spoons that wouldn't hang on my chin and everyone else had regular spoons. I got really pissed off (nah, me? getting heated in a competition? NEVER!) Then I got an invitation for some reunion. I'm not really sure what this reunion was for because it was hosted by random people that I went to high school with that really don't seem to have any common link as far as age or club or anything like that. The theme of the reunion was "Saurs of Fire" and the reunion featured dinosaur shaped funnel cakes....weird....Amanda 1, I think I have a theme for your wedding!!! Saurs of fire!!

Loving Father/Daughter E-mails

I know that I JUST posted about Christmas, but I have this funny post too and didn't want to forget about it. Below is a transcript of e-mails between my dad and I...just a brief glimpse into our loving relationship.

My Dad: Look at me talking to ND students. (This was attached to a forwarded e-mail from an ND music prof asking my dad if he would be a guest speaker in his class to talk about musical instrument manufacturing).
Me: Wow! That place has really gone downhill since I left.
My Dad: Butt Head.

HA

X-mas Low Points

As I was at the gym today, preparing to blog about this, I realized that there were some low points that were so low that I couldn't possibly in good conscience blog about them. Surprising, I know....I usually will blog about anything.

1) Being perpetually cold. I was absolutely cold for the entire time I was in Indiana. I would sit in my parent's hot tub for hours at a time to try to warm up with no success. I think I forgot just how cold, South Bend cold was.

2) I went to help volunteer with my mom at the "Christmas shop" at the women's day center where she helps out every Monday. Women can go to the Christmas shop pick out gifts for themselves and their kids. All the gifts were sorted by age and gender, but it was a little pathetic at the things that were sorted as "teenage gifts"...really Pickup Sticks? You think a teenager will like pickup sticks? I ended up moving everything around.

3) The guy at the sno-cone stand at the basketball games recognized me and asked why I haven't been around for a while...BURNED.

4) I was scheduled to be on a 5:30am flight out of South Bend (which could've been a low light in itself), but instead got a phone call the night before telling me it was cancelled...so I got to DRIVE to Pennsylvania with my parents.

5) Because they weren't expecting me to be along and had already packed the car, whenever we turned into a rest area things fell on me in the backseat.

6) The thermostat in my grandmother's house said it was 78 degrees...I'm not exaggerating.

7) I slept on the sofa rather than bother with putting up and taking down the air mattress every day.

8) Urban Meyer....I think I'll quit...no...maybe not...maybe I'll just miss recruiting time and spring practice, cause that time kinda sucks.....I have health problem so I probably shouldn't be coaching...never mind, not that big of a deal..............Well, thank you for just reinforcing my hatred of you Coach Meyer.

9) The unveiling of the Kelly "K" for the 1812 overture...if you missed my facebook post, make an "L" with your thumb and forefinger and then put up your middle finger as well...Voila! K...not only is it awkward, but it doesn't look like a K.

10) My mom demonstrated the Bob Davie "b" and "d", but I guess has never really done it correctly and flicked off the entire basketball arena multiple times while I was trying to pull her hands down. "What? I'm just doing Bob Davie?" My dad's comment "well, no wonder he did so poorly. He had some old lady giving him the middle finger in the stands."

11) I borrowed my mom's UGGS for New Year's Eve...let me repeat that...I borrowed MY MOM'S UGGS for New Year's Eve. I'm not sure what makes this point lower: that I was wearing UGGS or that they were my mom's.

12) My dad slept walked into the bathroom off the family room where I was sleeping and scared the shit out of me. Imagine waking up at 4am with your back to the room and hearing someone come out of your bathroom. Holy Shit!

13) The Santa Clause massacre. My grandmother has a loft above her living room and hangs all the kids stockings off of its balcony. While one child (who will remain nameless), went to get her stocking it slipped and plummeted 12 feet onto a table of Santa Clauses (and about 6 inches from an antique lamp). Luckily my grandmother was out of the room at the time or would've died of a heart attack. One Santa ended up with a fractured leg.

15) This many people at Christmas dinner.

16) My cousin Aubrey pouting during a family picture because someone said her feet smelled (they did smell).

17) I made peanut butter meltaways for my family for Christmas. I had to make two batches because of how many people there was. My mom helped me and in between batches I turned to find her with the entire mixing spoon in her mouth. "Well, I guess I'll have to get another spoon for the second batch." "Oops, sorry." (the oops sorry was said while she still had the whole spoon in her mouth)

18) I dropped one of the tins of meltaways and some of the candy fell out onto the snowy driveway. As I was about to throw them in the trash, two family members (who will remain nameless) snatched them out of my hand, rinsed them off and ate them.

19) Danielle swearing on the phone to me during the end of the PSU game...though that may also be a highlight....the field during that game was also a lowpoint. That field crew should've been embarrassed

20) Amanda 2 and I went to Zimmerman's candy store....it was closed.
21) There was a fire at my grandpa's nursing home while we were there. Employees were running around, alarms were going off, and smoke was filling the hallway. "Abraham Lincoln to Room 354...Abraham Lincoln to 354." All the old people were totally oblivious.

22) My cousin Patrick repeatedly trying to tie my shoelaces together during the Steeler's game.

23) Amanda 1's GPS going off at EVERY EXIT because I was going a different way back to Winston-Salem. The GPS was on Amanda 1's lap and she was asleep.

24) Lack of decent internet

25) Amanda 1 making inappropriate comments to the group of teenagers in front of us at the Sword Swallower Show on New Years Eve...we had to say "Swallow, Damion, swallow" before every trick...you get the idea.

Well, that's Winter Break in a nutshell. Classes begin back on Wednesday. My New Year's resolution is to be more creative so hopefully bloggage will pick up.

Wine + Free T-shirt = Happy JSto

I know this was supposed to be the low lights from Christmas (and trust me they are coming and they are low), but Amanda 1 (who will for the remainder of this post be addressed simply as Amanda) and I did something today that is preempting that. Today was Vineyard Visiting. Yes, North Carolina has vineyards...quite a few in fact....around 90 or so to be specific. I had asked my friend Fuller to recommend some wineries that had either good wines or nice tasting rooms. He gave me a list and after doing some research on where they were located and their hours, etc, we narrowed it down to three (hahaha).

First thing in the morning, Amanda made a yummy breakfast with stuffed French toast, bacon, and potatoes. We figured we should have some food in our tummies before drinking lots of wine. We left and made our way to the first winery on our list:

West Bend winery---we arrived at West Bend and were the only people there. It was quaint and cute looking like a vineyard should be. The person in the tasting room seemed a little surprised to see us when we walked in. Amanda and I split the tasting (I wanted to start off slow), and bought a bottle of wine. Onto the second winery:

Raylen---Raylen was nice. However, let me mention this was the only winery where we did not get a free glass. A tasting was of 6 wines. I only wanted to try three of them, so he gave it to me for free. Nice. Amanda bought the tasting, but we realized afterward that he only let her taste 5 wines. Not Nice. He also gave us a little card that showed that if we visited 5 wineries and bought bottles of wine, we could get a free T-shirt. Game on! He also stamped West Bend since we had told him we had visited. Amanda bought two bottles of wine (one was actually my birthday present). Onto the biggest winery we visited:

Childress--On the way to Childress (or as Amanda once called it: Child Less) we came upon a sign that said "Caution: Line Painting Ahead." We weren't expecting two men with pieces of cardboard hand painting lines on the road. Childress was big and nice. They had a very large shop area and a restaurant (we didn't eat there, we had packed lunch to eat along the way). We both did the "sweet" tasting. Another bottle of wine was purchased. Those three were actually the vineyards we had planned to visit, but it was only 2pm and we only needed two more for the free T-shirt...so we plugged them into Amanda's GPS and were on our way to:

Allison Oaks-- We knew when we were getting close to the other vineyards because there were suddenly grape vines all over the place. This one we were in the middle of a town and before we knew it the jackass GPS guy had told us that we had gone to0 far and that it was "recalculating." Apparently the tasting room is about a mile from the actual vineyard. The tasting room is in like a strip mall. We walked in and interrupted a man typing away at a computer. We were the only people to be there all day, and he actually had to go to the cellar to get wines for us to taste. I wasn't impressed with his tasting room, and his wines were my least favorite, but he did have foods for us to taste the wines with (wasabi almonds, chocolate almonds, dark chocolate, etc.). Of course we bought a bottle, cause that's what we do....just one winery left and we get a T-shirt. Onto:

Rag Apple Lassie (or Rag Time as Amanda called it)---cool because it has cows on the bottle and also because we passed "A Storehouse for Jesus" on the way there. What exactly would Jesus have in his storehouse? A storehouse for JSto would have gummy bears, martinis, and fuzzy socks, but I think Jesus might be a little different. Also on the way to Rag Apple Lassie, I had my first inclination of the day to throw Amanda's GPS out the window (which is good since I normally want to throw GPS's out the window from the start.) It took us past the vineyard, then past some sketchy dirt road that I was apparently supposed to turn onto to get back to the vineyard. You know what GPS guy?...you think you are sooo smart....you think you know everything and that I'm the stupid one when I purposely ignore your directions, but guess what...you're not...you make mistakes too you jackass. Anyway, this place was a little weird because you enter through their tank room (I'm not sure if that's what it's really called) and think you have entered into somewhere that you shouldn't be, but you haven't. We both did a tasting (I mostly did it because I wanted to glass with the cow on it and might as well have some wine to go with it.) While all the cute cow themed wine stuff made me want to buy it...I didn't, i just bought the final bottle of wine and some coconut chocolate to go with it. And that means we got.....FREE T-SHIRTS!!! WOOHOO!! I'm not sure why this seems like such an accomplishment since we basically drank and spent money, but it does. In the parking lot, we were laughing, and some mean lady told Amanda that she was cut off from any more wine tastings....really we were just admiring our take for the day on the backseat floor of my car.

Highlights From Break

So instead of going through my every move over Christmas break, I thought that I'd do something different. I'm going to go over the highlights and lowlights of break. I figured I'd start out with the highlights because obviously the lowlights are going to be more entertaining. Now, I actually have a week left of break so this is only up till today.

1) Baking cookies with my mom. Yes, I know this sounds cliche and that I should also say something about loving the magic and spirit of Christmas, but it's true. I get to put the colored sugar on!
2)Having coffee with my peeps from the Hall of Fame, and being thankful that I'm no longer there. They found out via a google news e-mail that the Hall of Fame was moving to Atlanta. That's some bad human resources there!

3) Helping my mom's school with their auction. They earn fake money for doing good things and then get to spend it at a silent auction. A snow globe went for 400 dollars!

4) Dinner with Eli at the Vine (including a half price bottle of wine) and cookies back at her house...the last time we went to see her house she didn't have keys to get in so I could only see the outside.

5) WE WANT BIG MAC!! At ND women's basketball games, when the women score 88 points, everyone gets a coupon for a free Big Mac. While I was there, ND beat Charlotte 90-31...it was almost painful to watch.

6) 2 Notre Dame basketball games. My dad talking trash about one of the ND players only to have him named player of the game..bahahhaha

7) There's a three year old girl that sits a few rows behind my parents at basketball. She sang the entire fight song, and can't pronounce R's...it was ridiculously cute. "Cheew Cheew fow ole Notwe Dame."

8) Ridiculously good shopping at Michigan City.

9) Surprising Nancie (awesome yoga genius) at body pump.

10) 49 cents shoes...nuff said

11) Really great present from Amanda 2!

12) BIRTHDAY CHEESESTEAK!13) BIRTHDAY FONDUE!!

14) BIRTHDAY MASSAGE!!

15) My dad singing "My Girl" with falsetto in the car on my birthday.

16) My grandpa telling everyone in his entire retirement community that I want to be a professor.

17) My dad telling me to pick out anything I want out of the Coach outlet...Am I dreaming?

18) My dad giving up his crackberry...Am I dreaming?

19) Three free coffees on New Years Eve.

20) This guy on New Years Eve.

21) Sneaking Amanda 2 into a Wake Forest basketball game and having it go into DOUBLE OVERTIME!

22) My dad got a Disney animator to draw an Alice in Wonderland picture for my hand. I LOVE IT...and am spoiled.

23) X-mas text from John Fred...why can't I text things like "Be safe, God Bless, and Rock on!" and have it be cool?

24) A brief highway relationship with some guys from Texas on 81 that we kept passing and being passed by...sigh...the memories

25) Having it snow 5 inches in Winston-Salem (and only about 3 in South Bend) and having all the people still in W-S freak out.

This Isn't Christmas Dinner

Sorry it's been so long since blogging. I'm finally back in North Carolina with my own computer and own my own wireless high speed internet. YAHOO!!

So the first thing I want to blog about is Christmas dinner at my Uncle Bill's. We usually have ham and turkey, and I'm all for change, but there's certain things that just should or should not be in Christmas dinner. Here's the menu and my thoughts.

Beef: I'm ok with beef. It was actually pretty yummy however, it was obvious that the kids didn't have experience with beef when they asked which was the light meat and dark meat. Seriously? You've never had beef before?
Gravy: Again, the kids were like "what's that?" "Gravy." "It doesn't look like gravy." "Cause its beef gravy" "well, what do you do with it?"
Stuffing: I love stuffing but we had beef. When we have stuffing with turkey there are two types at the table "in the bird" and "out of the bird". Jokingly I asked "is this in the cow or out of the cow?" No one got the joke and the answer I got was "you'll have to ask Uncle Bill." Also, the stuffing was all cut into hunks. My cousin Patrick asked if I would like a hunk of stuffing and someone thought he said "hug of stuffing" so the rest of dinner they asked to pass the hugs of stuffing.
Mashed Potatoes: Good...except a little too much butter for me, but I'm ok with that.
Corn: No issue with corn. Fine
Cranberry jello stuff: It was weird. It was like cherry jello with cranberries in it. Bizarre.
Asparagus Salad: What? What is this shit? It was some sort of pickled asparagus or something. This isn't Christmas dinner.
Lemony Broccoli: Where's the freakin green bean casserole? What's this fru fru veggie shit? Plus broccoli should not taste like lemon.
Rolls: Fine
Red Beet Eggs: We always have these. I hate them, but my mom kept trying to pimp them out to everyone. "Do you want red beet eggs?" "Here have some red beet eggs." "Do they have red beet eggs down there?" Seriously, you'd have thought she was getting commission off of the red beet eggs.
Raw Carrots And Celery: If you don't know how I feel about this, see my blog about Thanksgiving.
Cheesecake: WTF...it's Christmas! Where's the cookies? I'd even take some sort of pie. But a store bought cheesecake?!?! Talk about half assed.

I guess I shouldn't complain so much since I ate all of it (except the red beet eggs...blech). Stayed tuned more about Christmas later...Including the excellent Christmas gift I got from Amanda 2!