A Normal Relationship?

Just wondering if this is how normal friends interact with each other on phone calls.

Danielle: I'm going to have oatmeal. Should I have peach or strawberry?
Me: Peach
Danielle: Ok, I'll have strawberry.
Me: Good, I actually wanted you to have strawberry, but knew you would have the opposite of whatever I said.
Danielle: Well, actually I'm having peach, but I didn't want to tell you that I was having what you told me to.

After much discussion about whether it was normal for us to both try to manipulate the other into having the type of oatmeal we wanted:

Danielle: Does this mean I won? Because I like never win.
Me: I guess.

A Love Letter to Trader Joe's

My Dearest Trader Joe's,

I don't know how I ever lived without you (if you can call what I was doing really living.). Ever since Hina and Chiraag first introduced me to you, I knew that we were destined to be together.

I love everything about you. I love that you sell pretentious foods like caviar, jalapeno cilantro hummus, soy chorizo, and meyer lemon cookie thins at unpretentious prices, so that I don't feel like a prick shopping there. I love that when I don't like something I buy at you, that you will take it back without judgment. You just accept me as I am. The person who every once in a while thinks I like oatmeal, while secretly knowing that it will just disappoint me again. But I know that you will be there to take my half eaten oatmeal, give me my money back, and send me on my way with some strawberries or something else I will like. Though the majority of your food is delicious....the garlic naan and paneer tikka masala...delicious!

Please forgive me when I go to Rainbow in order to get some of the things you don't have. You know it doesn't mean anything. Sometimes I just need things like contact solution or molasses and you just don't have it. I'm sorry.

Kisses,

JSto

Two Phone Conversations

Yes, I'm blogging in class. I've stooped to a new all time low. I've recently had two phone conversations with people that perfectly summarize either the person or my relationship with them. I was going to post them separately, but why should I do a silly thing like that.

The first is with my mom, and it was in regards to my need for a new mixer. For those of you that don't know, my mom is the bargain shopping guru. There's been several times when she's actually bought something and gotten store credit because after they tally all her discounts and coupons and whatever, they realize that they owe her money. So I thought I'd ask her to keep an eye out for a new mixer for me.

Me: Hey, I really want a kitchenaid artisan mixer, preferably in a color that goes along with my kitchen stuff. Can you watch for one on sale for me?
My mom: why?
Me: well, I really hate mine and so I talked to some people, and they recommended the kitchenaid one.
My mom: I know everyone has one, but why do you need one? what's wrong with your current mixer?
Me: (I outline all the reasons previously posted about my hatred for my mixer including that it smells like it's burning sometimes)
My mom: All mixers do that.

This is my typical mom. Just hating something is not a good reason to buy a new one. It has to physically not work before you can spend money on another one and even sometimes when it doesn't work as long as it works "good enough" you still don't need a new one. Looks like I'm on my own for a new mixer.

The next conversation is with Danielle and was part of our almost daily "i'm driving home from work and know you are a student and have nothing to do, so I'll call you" conversation.

Danielle: I just got your...birthday present in the mail. I almost just accidentally told you what it was. (yes, my birthday is in December, but she had to buy something and will hopefully not forget she has it, unlike my pins that she got me at the Rose Bowl a year ago and still has)
Later in the conversation....
Danielle: I got my mom something from Lenox too, but it's on back order.
Me: My birthday present is from Lenox?
Danielle: Whore.
I laugh hysterically.
Danielle: I didn't tell you I got your present from Lenox (at this point, she's trying, not very well, to cover up her mistake.)
Me: No, but you just got my birthday present in the mail and then you said "too".
Danielle: Why do you have to be such a f***ing bitch?

And that's my friendship with danielle, though I have to say the "oatmeal conversation" summarizes it even better.