Thursday, October 30, 2008

Phillies Win!!

I was all set to blog about the pink lunch that we had today at work, but since the Phillies won the World Series that will have to wait. My family is longtime Philly fans. My grandfather loved the Phillies and my mom used to get in trouble when she was little for listening to their baseball games on the radio in her room after bedtime. I remember when my parents took me to a game when I was around 7. We had gloves to catch foul balls and everything. One foul ball hit the ralling two rows in front of us and skipped off to the right or we would've had it! Anyways, this is a big deal and I have some random thoughts from last night's game. (Which was the result of a conspiracy by MLB to make the World Series go longer, but I won't rant on that because I've already done it enough to random people in the grocery store and such.)

1). I like that Philly fans booed Bud Selig. That's just typical Philly, and Bud probably deserves it.
2). Ryan Howard running to the pitchers mound after the game...that I think, was the fastest he'd run the entire World Series.

3). Brad Lidge. I'm not just saying this because he's a Notre Dame guy, but I still can't wrap my head around what he's done. 48 for 48. I just hope to make a week at my job without screwing something up. There's no way I could go to work 48 times and not make a debacle of something.

4) Did it bother anyone else that the announcer's kept referring to things that happened "tonight" even though it was two days ago? Like (I'm just making this up), Upton is 0 for 2 so far, he's not. He was 0 for 2 a couple days ago. They could've said "in the game", but they didn't. The first time I thought they just made a mistake and I was ok with that because it was a weird circumstance, but then they did it OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

It's been a really great sports week for me: Notre Dame won, Penn State beat Ohio State, the Eagles won, Philly won the World Series, Washington fired Ty Willingham (which sucks for him, but makes Notre Dame not look racist anymore), and Notre Dame basketball is ranked #9 in the preseason rankings. Wow! That only sets up for complete misery this weekend.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Thank you, Blackberry!

Since my dad has now discovered how to take pictures and e-mail them with his blackberry. I'm hopefully going to get a lot more of random pictures from him. Like this:

Yes, that's a statue of Bruce Lee. And this:
I'm not sure why he felt the need to send these to me, but he did. He e-mailed these pictures to his secretary as well...isn't she lucky! He's in Hong Kong...I think.

Monday, October 27, 2008

I Need A Halloween Costume

We just received an e-mail from our HR department giving us permission to dress up on Friday. But I don't have a costume and really don't want to go buy one. I want to dress up because they area allowing us to. FREEDOM YEAH!! The costume cannot be anything that is risque or deals with political or religious statement (or may otherwise offend people) basically dominatrix, Sarah Palin and the Pope are out for costumes. Anyone have any good/cheap/creative ideas for a costume that I would mostly already have around my house.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Pumpkin Carving

I got invited to join in lunch and pumpkin carving at my uncle's house Saturday. Since I'm somehow still in the "kid" category (I guess since I don't have kids myself yet) I got to carve a pumpkin too. Pumpkin carving had to be moved indoors because of the much publicized rain here in Pennsylvania, which other than being a mess for my uncle was not that big of a deal. I didn't realize how long it had been since I had carved a pumpkin.

I free handed an old school Jack-O-Lantern face (with Spongebob-esque teeth). I also have to say that the new pumpkin carving little saw tools work much better than a carving knife that I was forced to use when I was young. Oh, how pumpkin carving technology has improved! My cousins were a lot more creative than I was. We did have a few faces (though admittedly less traditional than mine), there was also a Nittany Lion logo, a house, and a cat which needed dowel rod support so as not to fall in. I'm now trying to decide whether I dare to put it out by my front door and risk that it be smashed by some riff raff...I just like saying riff raff.

This is an actual picture of my pumpkin (on my purple sofa), so you'll be happy to realize that I now have access to a digital camera again, so that should mean more pictures. When my dad gave me his camera and I finally got it charged, I discovered about 70 pictures from our family's trip to Hawaii a year and a half ago. When I asked if they wanted me to print them out or save them to a disk or anything, I was told to just go ahead and delete them. And why did they have a digital camera?

Monday, October 20, 2008

15 Thoughts from the 3-day

Well, the walk is finally over, so here's some deep (and not so deep thoughts) from the Philadelphia 3-day. (Side note: That fountain was in downtown Philly...can you believe how ridiculously pink it is? and how cool! It looks like a giant pond of Pepto.)

1). Blue, Red, and Purple Gatorade pretty much all taste the same. At all the pit stops, they had either Gatorade or water that you could fill your water bottle with. By the end I was just taking whatever the person closest to me had even if my bottle was already partially full of a different color.

2). Just because something is sponsored by Pepperidge Farms does not necessarily mean that there will be Goldfish available...though it should.

3). The smell of Bengay permeates EVERYTHING. My dad used pretty much an entire tube of Bengay after the first day. It was like living in a senior citizens' aromatherapy room. We were downstairs in the lobby and some lady was like "it smells like Bengay down here." I lost it. We came back to the hotel room 12 hours later and it still smelled.

4). The 3-day people are big LIARS. Every morning we would get a card that would have the mileage for all the stops on it. So you'd get to a pit sto,p be like "oh, there's only 1.3 miles till the next pit stop." Then we'd walk for like 20 minutes and hit the "1 mile till pit stop" sign. That's BULL SHIT! Just because they put "all mileage is approximate" on the card, should not give them the right to dick around with us. Also, someone had an extremely accurate pedometer that measured 25 miles on the day we only were supposed to walk 20.

5). Boobs are funny. There were funny boob related signs, shirts, team names and cheers all over. So here are my favorites: Team Hakuna Ma Ta-tas, the old guys that wore the "boobs make me smile" and "I'm here for the boobies" shirts, the little 4 year old and 6 year old chanting "breasts yes, cancer no," the girl dressed as a pirate with the "treasure your chest" sign, and finally the "save a life, grope your wife" sign.

6). I am a big sap. There was a woman walking that had a sign on her back that said "I walk...because I miss my mom" and it had a picture of her with her mom and the date her mom died in 2005...cried like a baby...little kids with a homemade sign that said "walk, mommy, walk" reason at all when I was walking in some random park...cried.

7). Gay guys dancing with pink boas make everyone smile. We had three "support team members" that didn't walk, but just drove us around and cheered us on and brought us changes of shoes and stuff. The one guy every time we saw him cheering, he was dancing with a pink feather boa to Abba songs. It brought a smile to everyone's face.

8) Anyone who says home field advantage does not exist is a LIAR. We had these cheering sections where people would clap and high five and give you candy and cookies and whatever and no matter how tired I was after hitting one of them, I could go on forever even if it was straight up hill. My dad was also wearing a Notre Dame sweatshirt, so we got a lot of "Go Irish"'s too.

9) And speaking of hills. HILLS SUCK! Even downhills suck and when the hill is at mile 19.8 of a 20 mile walk. They suck more. If I were to do this again, I'd pick a nice flat Chicago.

10) Sometimes straight guys look good in pink. It was amazing how many guys that participated actually wore pink. And along this same note, there are about 20 billion shades of pink.

11) No matter what is sore if you ignore it, it will eventually go numb. Things hurt that I didn't know existed, but if I ignored it, it would eventually go numb. Along these same lines, just because you look like you are going to die, feel like you are going to die, and think you are going to die, does not necessarily mean you will die.

12) It is possible to gain weight after walking 60 miles...I did it. Gained 5 pounds this weekend. How does this happen? Possibly because I ate pretty much anything I wanted because I was walking 60 miles.

13) It is possible to have a blister bigger than the toe it is on. My friend Becky took off her shoe and her pinkie toe was bigger than her big toe, which was weird until we realized that the entire top portion of it was a blister. She held it up to the sun and you could see through the top 2/3 of her toe. Gross! It is also possible to have a blister with a blister on it.

14). Even when it's not a race, it's a race. They had a counter at each pit stop and finish line, so every chance people would ask what number they were. At the end of the day 1 we were like 1320, which isn't bad out of 3900 people. At the end of day three, my dad and I were 508 and 509. Which was great, except it could've been better had we not waited 45 minutes at lunch for the rest of our team to catch up...GRRR...they also count all the people that were bussed back, so that's not really fair.

15) It is absolutely impossible for my dad and I to have a sentimental moment. Because he's a jerk. So we're walking down the finish line aisle thing. People cheering, his arm around my shoulders, having just walked 60 miles together and you know what he does? Hip checks me so that I fall over sideways. Ass.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Top 10 Anti-Smoking Lyrics

Today Kate was forced to go to some anti-tobacco conference or whatever, which sucked for her, but rocked for me when she brought back the goldmine "The Prevention" which is an anti-smoking hip hop album put out by the Dauphin County Executive Commission on Drugs and Alcohol, Inc. (DCECDA). Actually in their album notes it says Alchohol, but I'm assuming they meant alcohol. We listened to it in my office and it features 6 songs: "I Cut That Smoking Out," "Blow It Up Yaw," "Think About It," "Unaddicted," "Ashes to Ashes Puff to Puff," and the ever popular "Nicotine Fit/Butt Ugly." I can't make this stuff up folks. So here are my top ten lyrics from the album.

10) "So stay away from nicotine; Before it stunts your growth"
9) "Plus your breath smellin funny; and your teeth turning brown"
8) "And what you'll have to show fo ryour life; Are tar filled lung sacs."
7) "But you got more folks coughing; than an outbreak of SARS"
6) "No help wit the candles; better scramble like Randle"
5) "The advanced aging wrinkles; and how they came to be."
4) "You got more air in your lungs; Than these rafts out there floating."
3) "Lungs collapse; Cancer attacks your body; Rigor mortis sets in hospital lobbies"
2) "Breathing kind of hard, kicking; Teeth looking sickening; No way you getting a chicken; Unless you mean finger licking."
1) "Couldn't stay on top of the log; You fell off like them frogs; Trying to kick the habit; Cause Trix are for the rabbit."

Thanks Kate!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Field Trip

My cousin, Aubrey, asked that I chaperone her 7th grade field trip to the PA Renaissance Faire last Thursday. Being a naive, childless, 27-year-old, I agreed. I walked into the LGI room and noticed the eyes of all the parents turn towards me and whispering begin. (Obviously the "how young was she when she had this kid?" chatter.) A teacher walked over to me and asked who my child was. In a voice loud enough for most to hear I answered "I'm going with my COUSIN, Aubrey." She hands me an envelope that has 5 names on it (2 girls and 3 boys) and scribbles about a bee sting allergy and someone having to meet the team for football early. Don't they know I'm a field trip rookie?

I find that the three boys were supposed to be in another group, but their chaperone's son was sick and didn't come to school, so neither did that chaperone. I also find out that my cousin doesn't even know who they are but her friend says they are "assholes." Great! The bus ride is full of immature giggle fests (like fart jokes and just general obnoxiousness) and I'm already wondering what I had gotten myself into and wondering if somehow I can run away.

We arrive and I get the group to go to the "Mud Pit" first. For those of you that have never been to a mud pit, picture a Shakesperean play (dumbed down for 7th graders) but with a giant pit of mud in the middle. (I really wish my digital camera was working.) Anyway, we get there a little late and the only real seats available are in the first couple rows, which the kids start to head for. I stop them short (being the Ren Faire veteran that I am) and explain that the reason those seats are still open is because you will get slung with mud. We opt instead for standing positions on the side. In the middle of Antony and Cleo (ala mud), mud flies all over the first row of prissy girls that had taken the empty seats. They jump up and are shrieking "Oh My God...look at my Abercrombie jeans. I just got them last night." Everyone is laughing hysterically and then the girls start yelling "It's not funny. These clothes are ruined." Which of course makes everyone laugh even more. And if you still can't picture, the mud pit...lucky for you, that's why they invented You Tube.

(It was the alligator's death roll that got them.)

The rest of the trip went really well. The boys and girls actually managed to get along well. They were very considerate of taking turns letting each other pick what to do next. I found out that the highlight for them, though, was the sword swallower that stuck the handle of a spoon up his nose, which was both impressive and disturbing. I turned to my group and said "that's why you need to stay in school." I was hoping to find this on You Tube as well, but unfortunately all the clips they had of him was actually swallowing swords. Bummer!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I Was Almost a Fall Person

Spring had always been my favorite season (well, for at least as long as I can remember having a favorite season.) I like how the sun is warm, but the breeze is cool. I like the chirping birds and new spring flowers blooming. I like wearing short sleeves and flip flops when its actually probably too cold to, but because you've been in an Arctic hell the past three months, you don't care.

That almost changed though. Autumn came on this year very abruptly. One day it was summer and then all of the sudden it was cold and the leaves were orange and it left people wondering "when did that happen?" But I kinda liked it. I got to put my flannel sheets on my bed and drink hot chocolate (I swear by Hershey's Goodnight Kisses) and watch football all weekend. Plus all the houses are going all out for Halloween which is nice. So I thought to myself "Self, I really kinda like fall. Maybe it should be my favorite holiday now." (Because I always have to debate the status of my favorites.) "I wonder why I didn't like it before." Then yesterday I woke up and there was frost on my windshield and I remembered.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

What Happened to My HR Department?

I'm sure that all of you remember my rant about how my company's employee handbook requires the wearing of hosiery. Well, last week we received an e-mail with a few changes to our dress code. Starting today (October 1st) Mondays are now "blues Mondays" so we are allowed to wear jeans and sneakers and play blues music...CRAZY TIMES! Thursdays are "team Thursdays" we can wear jeans, sneakers, and a shirt, T-shirt or sweatshirt of our favorite team. It is also recommended that we bring food to share on Thursdays. It's kind of weird that we can dress down on Mondays and Thursdays and then have to dress back up for Fridays, but I guess I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Guess what else? The hosiery law has been lifted. WOOHOO. So of course today I wore my cutest, open toed heels and painted my toe nails red. My department is already trying to push the KISS is not a team.