Sunday, November 25, 2007

Pennies From Heaven

On Black Friday, my dad and I went to King of Prussia, PA as is tradition. We didn't really buy much. We usually just buy stuff for ourselves, but we didn't even do that this year. We did experience one of the weirdest things that I've ever seen in a mall (which is saying a lot because I once saw a fight break out and the guy that was trying to break it up started punching people). We were on the bottom floor of the two story mall and all of the sudden about 20 $1 bills started raining down on us. No normally you would think in a mall outside of Philly with money raining from the sky you would have to worry about gunfire, but no one wanted anything to do with the money. Everyone was just letting it fall to the floor. We look up but couldn't see anyone leaning over the balcony with a "oh, shit I just dropped 20 bucks" look on their face. In fact, no one on the second floor seemed to care that money just came from that area. Eventually people started picking the money up, but even then they were trying to give it to other people. The girl at the kiosk nearby didn't want anything to do with it. After about 5 clueless minutes, people started pocketing the dollars and going on their merry way. Isn't that bizarre though?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I'm Not Normally a Skull Person

I don't usually like skulls, but Amanda does. So since this was her last day in the Harrisburg office, I thought it was only fitting that I should put a skull on my blog. Bye Amanda. Chauncey will miss you. Good luck in Scranton....errr....I mean Montoursville (its like Scranton, right?)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Today, a woman I was talking with on the phone couldn't think of what Alcoholics Anonymous was called, and she called it the "Drunk Society." I think that's really funny.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Things That Annoy Me

1) Having to have the same tooth filled three times within a 7 month period. In related news, I've switched dentists. My new dentist (Dr. Lee) doesn't speak very good English and I think I kinda like it that way.

2) Having a coworker throw you under the bus and think its funny. While I was on vacation (a whole other long post I haven't had the energy to type), my coworker Charlene was forced to endure going to a disability training with my boss, whom we shall refer to as TT (because that's how she refers to herself). Ensuing conversation.

Charlene: What are you doing for Christmas?
TT: Oh, going back to Indiana to visit my inlaws. I hate driving there alone though.
Charlene: Maybe next time JSto goes back to Indiana, you can go with her.
TT: That's a great idea.

Luckily I think TT's in laws are from Southern Indiana which is hella far away from the Bend. Charlene followed up telling this story to me with a fit of hysterical laughter. If she wasn't seriously pregnant, there would be some major kicking ass going on!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

What Kind of Town did I Grow Up In?

Even though my mom lives 600 miles away she still gets the Middletown Press and Journal (catchy name, huh) because its always full of delightful news. This one time there was someone breaking into people's houses and stealing just ice cream out of their freezers. The October 31 edition was especially enjoyable. I will include three of my favorites with the actual headlines as they appear in the paper, a summary of the article and some of my fave direct quotes.

1) "Scarecrow on Fire" -- The article starts out "an apparent school project ended with a scarecrow being set on fire last week." People came home to find that a scarecrow that was in their backyard was "engulfed in flames. " They suspected a kid that lived next door, but the mom of the kid said he couldn't have possibly have set it as he was out riding bike at the time. Police found a box of matches and a footprint at the scene. The footprint matched the kid and when questioned, he confessed. "According to police, the boy said he was working on a school project to determine how long fire would last and that is why he set the scarecrow on fire."

2) "Disorderly Conduct with Sardines" -- There was a fight between a father and son and the police sited both for disorderly conduct. The son went to go pick up his car that had been impounded and while the son was gone the father became agitated about being arrest. The father then flattened the front tire of a police cruiser, scratched "NARC" on the front fender the bent the rear windshield wiper. "Edward thought it belongedto the arresting officer." It didn't. He then took an open can of sardines (I'm not sure if he had these in his pocket all day or what) and smeared the juice on the glass doors of the borough building. He emptied the sardines into the borough drop box and placed the empty can on top. Police reviewed a security tape and saw who had done it. "Edward was then charged with reckless endangerment, criminal mischief, adn littering, police said. Police described his actions as having endangered the general public by putting a police vehicle out of service."

3) "Balloon Vendor Tasered" -- A balloon and toy vendor was partially blocking an intersetion at the borough's Halloween parade. Police asked the man to move, but he refused. "Police said the man was yelling and creating a scene at the intersection..'as if to get the crowd into the incident'" Police had notice a car trying to turn had to stop and wait for the balloon guy to move his cart. The balloon vendor said he didn't have to move because he had a permit. Police attempted to arrest him, but once again resisted. "More officers arrived on the scene to help wrestle him to the ground." After several verbal warnings he was tasered. HA This story reminds me of that Orville Redenbacher commercial where the policeman is trying to get Orville to move his popcorn cart. Imagine if they had tasered Orville.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Three...Three...Three Posts in One

1) The Spy I think that Barbara, the lady my office hired two weeks ago, is a spy. I don't know who she is spying on or who she is spying for, but we had a meeting today and she wrote down everything anybody said. (She needs one of those little typewriters like a court stenographer.) She also prints off every e-mail that anyone sends her. Really, is there any need for that...unless you're a spy?

2) Isn't it Ironic, part 2 Isn't it ironic when your maintenance needed light comes on the evening before you're supposed to drive 600 miles to Indiana? I think Alanis should've included that in her song. Maybe taken out the black fly in your chardonnay part because I don't really find that ironic more just gross. Luckily the light only meant that I need my 40,000 mile check in like another 2000 miles....thanks for the heads up.

3) My Loser Cousin The younger loser cousin who is still in prison punched a prison guard, got maced and was put in "the hole" though according to my aunt none of this was really her fault. If you think that's funny, imagine your grandma using the phrase "put her in the hole." Hilarity.