Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Does Anyone Know How To Get A Pencil Out Of A Steinway Baby Grand?

Last night, in some fluke accident I dropped a pencil into our piano. The pencil was up by my music where I was using it to mark sharps and flats and stuff (all you band nerds understand what I'm talking about.) Anyway, when I turned a page, the pencil went down in between the wooden thing that covers the keys when you're not using the piano, and the wooden part that has the piano maker on it. I would've thought the key coverer was hinged so I'd put the cover down and there the pencil would be, but no. Apparently it's only connected at the sides, so the pencil rolled into the back of the keys. We can't really see it but that its behind C, D, E, and F in the highest octave because those notes make a clinky noise when you hit them. My dad was pissed!!! Piano tuner is going to be coming, but who knows what he can do.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Larry the Cable Guy and Random Thoughts

Last night I went to see Larry the Cable Guy's stand-up comedy act at the Morris Center in downtown SB. I have never laughed so hard and felt so guilty about it in all my life. First of all, let me say I was one of the few people not wearing camouflage, NASCAR, or a picture of a big breasted woman. Did you know that they make camouflage Notre Dame hats? They do. I saw two of them. The show was hysterical. It was basically anything I have ever thought of saying, but haven't for fear of being fired, beaten up, or looked down upon by my more sophisticated friends because it was very un-p.c. Except his version of it had more use of fart noises and the words "titty bar" than the version in my head did.

Here's one of his less offensive jokes, but still offensive enough that you should get an idea of what I'm talking about:
"i got into an elevator the other day with a guy that had one of those neckbraces with the halo thing bolted into his head. All of the sudden he starts feeling around in his pockets and looking all panicked and I ask him what's wrong. He says 'I think I lost my car keys.' I say 'that doesn't surprise me. you'd probably lose your head if it wasn't screwed on.'"
You can't say things like that!! Think them, yes...say them, no. For those of you who went to Notre Dame, remember Matt Bleacher and the little censor guy in his head that died...this was that.

During the show, Larry the Cable guy could may have offended the following people: Koreans, Chinese, Mexicans, Ethiopians, African Americans, short people, fat people, midgets, amputees, midget amputees, gays, the deaf, the blind, Jews, Catholics, any one who doesn't have a voice box and needs one of those amplifier things to talk, and people with Turrets Syndrome. I'm sure there's more but that's all I remember. All in all though, a delightful show.

Now onto my 5 random thoughts:

1) The Stanford Cardinal (cardinal as in the color not the bird). I recently discovered that before Stanford was the Cardinal, they were the Indians. Understandable why they would want to change the mascot. But was Cardinal really the best you could do? What were the other suggestions that Cardinal beat out? Were there other colors? Like could they possibly have been named the Stanford Teal? were there other intangible items? Like possible gravity? or west?

2) I went shopping in Chicago this past Friday and saw many interesting sights. Including a person in a full fox costume protesting fur coats outside Marshall Fields and arguing with a police man. That however is not #2. The Abercrombie store was having a special promotion where if you donated a dollar to Toys for Tots you could have your picture taken with a shirtless Abercrombie model...not a bad idea. Just as I was passing the Abercrombie store about 20 guys in full Naval dress uniforms walked into Abercrombie, surrounding shirtless Abercrombie model guy...suddenly a secret fantasy of mine was realized.

3) Chris Thomas basketball jerseys are now on sale at the discount Notre Dame store for $9.99. What does that say about Chris Thomas?

4). My trainer Indiana (yes, her name is Indiana and she lives in Indiana...get over it.) had on this shirt that said: I can make you hot and sweaty and last a whole hour. Then the back said: Come train with me.

5). Another thought from the gym: The bottle on the water cooler said "this water was purified through reverse osmosis" Then there was a little sun which also said in it "Reverse osmosis!!!" My question is can anyone explain what reverse osmosis is and secondly should we care? I know osmosis has something to do with the transportation of water in cells and that I did a lab on it involving a potato in Advanced Bio in High School, but should this make me buy that water over another brand of water.

That's all for now.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Iron Chef Trading Cards

I've decided after watching Bobby Flay completely dominate in battle squash (way to go Bobby!) that there should be Iron Chef trading cards. There'd of course be several for all the iron chefs, maybe some challenger chefs and then some of the repeating judges (like the lady who always thinks everything is oily). They'd be just like normal trading cards with the pictures on the front and then stats on the back. Like for the chefs it would have normal stuff height, weight, favorite ingredient, etc.

My favorite chef is Mario Batalli. He just looks like a chef should look...plump and jovial. Bobby Flay's eyebrows are kinda weird. Plus he does the same stuff a lot...oh, we're making chilli barbecue sauce again...SHOCKER!!! Cat Cora looks like she could just claw the face off of any challenger that might beat her and I'm not going to say anything bad about Morimoto for fear that I'll wake up and he'll be standing over my bed with a meat cleaver.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

What do you get a juvenile delinquent for Christmas?

That is the question of the day. Tomorrow is the big shopping trip to Chicago. Yes, I have completely lost my mind. I still have no idea what to get my 17 year old juvenile delinquent cousin Dezerae. Last year I got her a Prada knock off, which she loved, of course. For those of you who don't know Dezerae, let me give you a brief synopsis, so that you can better suggest gifts. Dezi dropped out of high school about 2 years ago. Before that she had been arrested several times, in and out of juvy and at one point was at some boot camp thing in western PA. Since that time she has been moving between a motel in West Virginia and my aunt's house in PA and generally just being a burden to society. Any suggestions?

Thanksgiving dinner at Knollwood Country Club was pretty good. No green bean casserole. ::sigh:: But the berries and cream in the martini glass made up for it, especially since I had two of them.

Since I missed Turkey Burn class at the gym this morning at 5am, I am now off for a swim in the pool to burn off all that berries and cream.
Can you believe it? My very own blog. How lucky am I? Actually I'm just extremely bored on a cold, snowy Thanksgiving day in South Bend.

I was thinking back to last Thanksgiving (it snowed then too) when we were in the SB airport trying to get to So. Cal and trying to convince the guy at the desk that we really would have a better chance of getting out if we drove to Chicago and not K-zoo like he had suggested. Fun times.

Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!