Sunday, January 27, 2008

Psychotic Thought of the Day

Did you ever think to yourself "my God, I hope no one has a hidden camera in my apartment and is secretly videotaping me"? Not because of the whole invasion of privacy issue but because of the weird things you do when you are home along. Last Thursday at yoga class we had a head stand workshop and were told to go home and practice. So if someone is videtaping me they would see me about twice a day on my head with my feet up on the wall and even worse I really haven't discovered an elegant way to get down (since I'm facing the wall and can't just step down like you would in a normal headstand and there also isn't room to just roll out of it) so I normally just fall sideways and hope to miss my washer/dryer.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Does This Make Any Sense to You?

Today at the gym I was driving around along with several other cars driving around searching for the closest space to the door. Doesn't that seem like a paradox? We're trying to find the a place so that we don't have to walk very far to go in and work out. That seems a little weird.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Opinions Wanted

Has anyone else seen Sweeney Todd? I just saw the movie and am slightly traumatized by the whole experience. Thanks for picking that one, Danielle!

Just to give you a little insight here is the "plot keywords" that imdb uses for the movie: Judge, Baker, Infatuation, Guardian, Cannibalism, Underage Drinking, Trapdoor, Tragedy, Wig, Widow, Unrequited Love, Burned Alive, Restaurant, Trial, Widower, Beggar, Child In Peril, Jealousy, Cellar, Madhouse, Shaving, Name Change, Escaped Convict, Murder, Secret Door, Sewer, Bakery, Remake, Black Comedy, Seaman, Corpse, Wedding, Rescue, Based On Musical, Picnic, Young Love, Assault, Confession, Barbershop, London England, Corset, Psychopath, Throat Slitting, Lust, Razor, Oven, Presumed Dead, Love At First Sight, Fantasy Sequence, Wager, Key, Fake Accent, Deception, Gothic, Uxoricide, Death Threat, Blackmail, Serial Killer, 1850s, Flashback Sequence, Title Spoken By Character, Character Name In Title, Twist In The End

I think they missed musical or singing or something like that.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

How I Single Handedly Went from One of the Coolest People In So Cal to One of the Dorkiest People in So Cal in Less than 5 hours

So yesterday, I went by my dad's booth at the convention center. Life was great! I'm hanging out with all the drummers that are there to sign autographs (hey, Jason Bonham, how are you doing? I'm good. Thanks for asking), I'm daughter of the company's president (why yes, I would like another water thank you), I'm being invited to after parties the next time the band is in PA (sure, go ahead, write your e-mail address on this piece of paper and I'll e-mail you), and I'm wearing my fab Vera Wang Purple Jeweled Ballet Flats (yes, they are fab, aren't they.) I was pretty much living the high life to the full extent.

Flash forward 4 1/2 hours. I'm at the Medieval Times restaurant. I have a paper crown on my head, am eating chicken with my fingers and am cheering my heart out for the green knight (who also happens to be the evil knight...which somehow makes the cheering more fun). I had an absolute blast, but all my coolness from earlier that day was gone.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The True LA Experience

Last night I was on my way back from a fancy dinner at Orange Hill Restaurant (I had the filet
oscar...yummy) with my parents, some of my dad's VP's, and some of his biggest clients. We were in a limo. (By the way the limo driver got lost on the way there and on the way back and my mom was yelling at him through the little window because she knew where we were supposed to be going). Anyway, we were mooned by a girl in and SUV. They were making a lot of noise, so I looked out...Big Butt. I then looked around to the other people in the limo who were engrossed in some musical babble about flutes in Japan or something. No one else saw. Can you believe that?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


I'm on vacation, but nothing really exciting/funny has happened so I've decided to tell you about one of my newest hobbies. Its called letterboxing. For those of you who have never heard of such a thing, I'll tell you about it, but also check out this link. It's kind of like a scavenger/treasure hunt. (Yes, I'm a dork). No there are no prizes...I realize for some of you this makes it lame. So here's my brief explanation of what basic letterboxing is. Someone hides a letterbox and puts the clue online. (There's a couple of different sites where you can find them). Some clues are hard and involve puzzles: others are really straight forward. In each letterbox is a stamp (sometimes handmade sometimes store bought) and a log book. Each person hunting for letterboxes also has a stamp and a log book. When you find a hidden box, you stamp into their log book and stamp their stamp in yours. That's basically it. It's just a hobby and it gets you out doors and take you all different places.

I first learned about letterboxing at a conference thing for work. Since then I've told my mom about it and she's gone totally letterboxing nuts. I have 45 finds. Now everywhere we go my mom brings letterboxing stuff with her. Back at Thanksgiving, she sprained both her ankles and has a hard time getting dad calls her Shuffles, which if you knew my dad really wouldn't be as mean as it sounds. This didn't stop my mom from letterboxing with me like crazy women yesterday. She was under bushes and all over the place and was telling me to "climb that tree" or "go over that fence".

Anyway, that's my brief post on letterboxing. I thought some of you might be interested. It's funny to see where the boxes are. They're anywhere from in retail stores and amusement parks to at the end of a 5 mile hike. If you want anymore info, let me know.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

No, Not The Shoes!

So yesterday was a traveling day to Anaheim, CA. I think you all know how exciting my traveling experiences are. I had to take a little detour. Instead of flying from Chicago to Orange County, I had to fly Chicago to Dallas to Orange County. Unfortunately, my luggage did not take the same detour. As the baggage carousel emptied and my baggage was nowhere in sight, I was only a little annoyed. It was also a little worrying that when I left Harrisburg, the baggage stickering machines were broken so that tag that they had to put on my luggage was hand written. It was only when I realized that my new, never-worn, purple, awesome Vera Wang shoes were in my luggage that I really got pissed. NOOOOO!!! Not the shoes. Luckily sometime last night, the luggage miraculously appeared at my hotel (with the shoes in them).

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

The Worst Laffy Taffy EVER

Today at the pointless trianing I had to take, they had candy on the table and I took a Laffy Taffy. Here were the jokes:

What happened to the wind? It blew away.

When was meat so high? When the cow jumped over the moon.

I'm sorry Katie A from Manhatten, KS and Scott P. from Angola, IN, but your jokes suck and make no sense and are the worst jokes in Laffy Taffy history!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

I'm Not Sure If This Is a Good Idea or Not

Today at the Dollar Tree store, I saw that they have pregnancy tests on sale. Please keep in mind that everything in that store is $1.
My Mom is a Crazy Lady

Yesterday, the Notre Dame women's basketball team's game against the Evil Empire Tennessee was on CBS. Here is an excerpt from my phone conversation with my mom following the game.

Me: Hey, I think I saw you guys on TV in the background. Did you have something on your head?
Mom: uh....yeah
Me: What did you have on your head?
Mom: A green balloon that we were supposed to use to distract the people at the foul line, but your dad made it into a hat for me.

Yes, my mom was on national TV with a green balloon hat on. Now you see where I get it from because all of you know that if I had been there my mom and I would've been side by side with balloon hats.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Disney World, the Final Chapter
Ok, My New Year's Resolution is to finish this series because its taken WAY too long to finish it.

Where were we? Oh yeah, Paradise Island. So the show at the Comedy Club was ok, but because we were already tipsy, it was HYSTERICAL. From there we went to the BET club (because we had agreed we were checking out all the clubs) and to our surprise, it was full of old white people. Go figure! We then went to the Adventurer's Club which is modeled after an English Gentleman's club except with a bit of a Disney twist. Picture talking masks on the wall. Danielle had another Long Island (3) and I had a Amaretto Sour (3). We were ushered into the "library" for a little Christmas show which again was funnier than it should have been due to the "merriment" that we had been having. Danielle kept interrupting the show by continuously whispering "I gotta pee." So after the show our first course of action was finding a bathroom, but the first bathroom was not adequate because it was too crowded and according to Danielle there was "too much pressure." We found a less pressure packed bathroom.

We continued our trek across Pleasure Island at 8Trax, the disco club. We managed to stay just long enough to see the ridiculous light up dance floor and be hit on by some creepy, questionably straight guy. We went next door to Mannequins the "techno club" which apparently doubles as a gay club (at least while we were there). We actually stayed there longer. Tried out the revolving dance floor where there was according to Danielle lots of "penis on penis gay action." We also realized we needed another drink, so we went to the bar. Two gay guys recommended the bartender Robbie because he is awesome and decorates your glass. The guy showed us his cup which said "I'm hot" in pink sharpie. Robbie asked us if we wanted doubles and of course we said sure. Actually I think Danielle's exact words were "Hell Yeah!" I had a double tequila sunrise (5) and Danielle had a double Mambo Punch (5) which came in a really cool glass because it was a signature drink.

We left Robbie and moved onto Motion (the Top 40 club). It was pretty lame. No one was dancing except for one techno guy who seemed to belong back at Mannequins. We left there pretty quickly and went to our last club of the evening the Beach Club. Hip Kitty was playing and sounded pretty good so we found a pair of benches on the second floor and I went and got this:

Filled with liquor! Actually it was filled with a Funmeister, which the bartender recommended. I'm not sure what's in a Funmeister. Some melon stuff, maybe some sour mix...I don't know. It was kinda sour and yummy. Just as I begin enjoying my bucket, a creepy guy with no teeth who smells like tobacco pounces on us. He had a non creepy kinda cute friend but he didn't really do anything but stick back. The best part was that Danielle was drunk and so was perfectly content speaking her mind. At one point, the creepy guy said "Come on, I want to show you a good time." To which Danielle responds sarcastically "I'm sure you do." Another time the creepy guy was in between us, and has his arms (ICK!) around both of us and while talking was not exactly looking at our eyes to which Danielle yelled "Are you looking at boobies?" Creepy guy then at one point asked where we were staying. Danielle blatantly paused and then pulled "The Swan Club" out of her ass. To her credit The Swan is a Disney hotel. Creepy guy eventually gives up, kisses each of us on the cheek (any disinfectant around?) and leaves. We hang out a little more. Danielle makes some drunk phone calls and drunk text messages before we also decide to call it a night. On the way out our gay friends from Mannequins, tell us to go get my bucket filled by Robbie.

Thank God for WDW transportation. We try not to be too loud or act like too big of fools as we ride the bus back to the hotel with people much younger than us. I think we did ok except that I kept turning to Danielle, pointing to my bucket and saying "I drank that." We get back to our room and Danielle passes out on top of the bed spread, in her clothes, next to her pajamas that she had laid out before we left, with her feet on her pillow and her head at the bottom of the bed. I change, brush my teeth and say "are you just going to stay like that?" "uh-huh." Then I took a picture.

The next day was the day we left. We went to check into our flight at our hotel but they only had my reservation on the flight and not Danielle's. After calling US Air three times, we confirmed that she did have a reservation. We were switched to a flight through Philly, instead of Charlotte, but other than that got home safe and sound.

The End