TV at a New Low

I watch a lot of crap on TV: Operation Repo, Sister Wives, Billy the Exterminator, Hoarders, etc. But this may be an all time low. I swear this is a real show.

Bridalplasty: "Twelve brides-to-be compete in wedding-themed challenges to win plastic-surgery procedures. In the opener, the ladies move into a mansion, and they each create a plastic surgery wish list with a surgeon before taking part in their first challenge. One person is voted out by the other brides."

Quotes of the Day

Yesterday was filled with some very memorable quotes. (These quotes should not be read by minors or anyone with a prudish disposition). The names have been held back to protect the innocent (or not so innocent).

"Because I like to put out. I find it enjoyable."

"This may end of being one of the worst experiences of business school...and I was roofied in China."

"well, looks like I have to go suck a dick now, so I guess I'll talk to you later."

And They Lived Happily Ever After

This is a continuation of my previous Princess and the Mixer post.

The beautiful/smart/caring/humble princess had waited patiently for her perfect mixer to come, but to no avail. She was forced to be the slave of the evil mixer no matter how much she begged for her mother the queen to purchase her the gallant Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer. But just when she was about to give up hope, Princess Amanda 1 informed the mixerless princess of the land of Amazon. The princess ventured to the land of Amazon on the special festival of sales known as "Black Friday" and found a shining white Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer that she could take back to her kingdom for her very own. Then she was able to make magical cookies for all the subjects of her kingdom without fear of an evil mixer causing her doom. The entire kingdom celebrated, and they all lived happily ever after.

Best Gig EVER

Last April (approximately) I went to this women in business conference where the keynote speaker was the CEO of Spanx. She said that we could sign up to be wear testers. I put my name and e-mail address down ,never expecting to hear from them BUT I was wrong. Friday my first wear testing item came. Nothing like having a FedEx guy come to your house and hand you free stuff. The instructions were to wash and wear it as much as possible and fill out the survey by yesterday. Uh...Spanx...can we get a clue? Like two days? I can only possibly wear it twice and wash it once (which I did cause I want to prove that I'm an awesome wear tester so that they'll send me more stuff!) Oh and of course I get to keep it. Anyone know a shoe company that needs wear testers?

Making My Standard Even Higher

Also if you have "guns" listed as the first item in the "5 things I can't live without" section, I'm not dating you. Change that if you have guns listed anywhere in your 5 things I can't live without I'm not dating you....exceptions may be made if your occupation is listed as Military, Security, or Police. I know you really may just like hunting a lot, but I feel like there are 5 things you should like better than guns.

My Mom

My mom just described how the Notre Dame volleyball team is playing as "sucking out." Someone's been watching too much World Series of Poker on TV.