A Note To Various Grad School Administrators

Since I took my GMAT's back in July, I've started getting all sorts of materials from various Grad Schools wanting me to come to their school. I have filed all the e-mails I receive under in a file labeled "MBA" (very clever, I know) and put all the brochures, booklets, letters, etc. in a folder. Well now, its just become to cluttered and I've been forced to clean them out. So if administrators from any of the following schools read my blog, please stop wasting your resources because I'm not interested. I've also posted the reason why.

• Texas A&M: I will not be attending grade school at any place that has A & M, Poly, Tech or other such word in its title.
• Lebanon Valley College: Let's be honest here. We're both grown ups. Did you think you really had a chance of me attending here? Kinda threw up a half court shot mailing out that brochure, didn't ya? I applaud the effort.
• Tulane: I visited your school when I was in high school and your tour guide told me "they have really good locks on all the dorms, so that when Mardi Gras comes around, all the wackos can't get in." Nope...won't be coming.
• Michigan: I'm sure you have a really nice school, but I would rather gouge my eyes out with a needle infected with some horrible painful disease and then be forced to eat my eyes than attend your school. And just between you and me, every time I see one of your e-mails in my inbox, I feel dirty.
• Penn: Great school, so sorry your city sucks! Well, at least you have a World Series now.
• North Carolina Chapel Hill: The powder blue...a little gay
• Stanford: The tree...a little gay
• UCONN: I would have to beat up your basketball teams if I attended. (See Michigan, but with a sterilized needle)
• Pitt: Let's just say I know a Pitt alum and he's an ass.
• Washington University in St. Louis and University of Illinois at Chicago: You only sent me a postcard (a little cocky, aren't we?), so while I know I don't want to attend your schools, I don't really have enough material to make fun of you. Though I can't see myself attending anywhere that has to be specified that its "in" or "at" a city.

Well, I think that's it. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!