Letters from Prison: The Shank

Before I get started, I just want to mention how much I love using the word shank. Shank Shank Shank Shank and may start referring to every sort of knife type implement as a shank. "Can you pass me that shank so I can butter my bread?"

"Hey how are you adjusting to your new apt and your new town? (just peachy thanks for asking) Did you go explore it yet? (if by explore you mean get lost in random parts of town...then yes) Is there any good places around that you might like to go visit? (that I can hide out in when I escape) Well, I just watched these two girls fight (and here I was worried this letter was going to be dull). It was pretty funny cept for the fact one girl was 20ish and the other was 40ish (are we sure that these "two girls" weren't you and your mom?) and they said that the 20ish beat her up and I said I wonder why? (I really don't understand this part here at all) I bet she wouldn't of beat anyone up her age (feisty, aren't we?) then the 40ish was the one who started it then tried to cope out (I think you mean cop out, dear) when they were takin em to the hole. It was a stupid fight, just entertainment for 2 minutes (yep, I know how it is.) Nothing like that happens on the females side cept once in a blue moon. Um they put us on lockdowns (background info: previously she had said they were on lockdown, so I asked what they get put on lockdown for because I knew it would be golden material to work with) when people fight, they find shanks (shank shank shank shank...it's fun to type too), drugs, a medical emergency (like if someone got shanked?) or electric malfunction...or understaffed! The reason we were on lockdown for a week was cause we were yelling to guys in the dayroom (sounds like fun!) and we were so loud the lt's heard us (don't you just hate when that happens). Then after we got off they put us right back on cause 2 guys were fighting and they found a shank. are you letting your hair grow back? (honestly, I did not cut out anything here...her next sentence after shank was are you letting your hair grow back?) It's always good to laugh (I don't know where this came from, possibly something I said in my last letter, but I don't remember). I guess laughter heals the heart. I'm pretty funny myself (obviously) but I still like to be around funny people. When I was a pothead (are you kidding me? shank and pothead in the same letter? This is GOLD!) it was a funny fest all the time. "stoners" are very funny. (I can't make this up people!) I wrote a poem and sent it to a contest and it made it to the semi-finals and is gonna be published. (my opinion of poetry has just hit the shits!) I'm happy about that! Did you go to John Fred's concert? (yes, I did) Was he opening for Kid Rock? (yes, he was) If he his that whats up? (huh? I think someone's been in the hole a little too long!) well, i'm gonna go. i'll talk 2 you soon!"

Wow...brilliant.