Correspondence from Germany

I'm enjoying Danielle being in Germany. I get to go play with her kitties. They really like me more than those pictures show. They're just divas and were mad that I didn't get their good sides. I get to drive her car around because mine is in the shop. I'm not even being a bitka (Danielle's drunk translation of bitch) and messing around with it by toying with her little stuffed dauphin (like I normally do when I'm a passenger) or changing all her cds to crappy cds (Inside joke for Danielle: "hi my name is Bob, and I work at my job"). I've confused the old lady downstairs though. She called me and asked if I'd changed teams because Danielle's car has all this Penn State crap all over it.

But my favorite thing about Danielle being in Germany, is that I get psycho e-mails. Below are some excerpts from e-mails that have been edited for length and censored for content. I've gotten two so far, but I'm combining them together.

"the y is where the z is and it freakin pisses me off. Our tomtom is not working so it took us about 3 hours to get to our hotel. I've decided to screw the y and the z and just tzpe normallz. zou should be able to figure it out. anzwazs, the dude in front of us kept getting comp drinks the whole flight and prettz much got blityed out of his mind. I fell asleep onlz to be awoken bz him howling like a dog. and I'm not even joking. He did it twice. oh and in case zou are wondering cologne is like a dirtz new zork if zou can believe that. some random black guz stopped me in the street and shook mz hand and wanted to know where i was stazing, how long i was stazing and he reallz wanted to meet up with me sometime. uh how bout no. there is a fun storz involving a porn and i tzped it up for zou and tried to send it but it didnat work. iam sick of looking for the ' so zou are just going to hafta deal with the a (sidenote, the a she is using actually has two little dots over it, but blogger won't let me do that). long storz short, we have 2 porn channels and mz mom made me watch some of them. gross. random sidenote i find it odd that the radio stations plaz onlz american music. iam sitting here jiving to the radio then all of the sudden the djs start talking and iam like shit iam still in germanz. 6 more dazs. serenitz now!"

Well, Danielle's in Germany till next Monday, so hopefully we'll get more e-mails. We can only hope.