The 11 classifications of prostitutes

Last evening a received request from a friend to name the 11 classifications of prostitutes that I had learned in my criminology course in college (actually I was requested to name the 8 classifications, but I'm pretty sure there are 11). However, I could only name 9, so if anyone can think of two more let me know. (Did I mention that I loved that class?) Here are the 9 I have:

Crack Whore
Street Corner Hooker
Masseuse
Stripper
Bored Housewife
Dominatrix
Upscale Call Girl
Convention Hooker
Truck Stop Hooker

I think one of the final two might have something to do with a brothel, but I'm not sure.

Things That Annoy Me

I have two this week.

1) People who eat loudly. I know if you're eating crackers or carrot sticks there will be noise. But if your munching on a ham sandwich or ice cream, the noise should be minimal.

2) Mia Hamm

Church Sayings

Several churches in my area feel the need to put witty puns and saying on the boards outside their buildings. If you're a domer, think Officer Tim McCarthy with a religious twist.

Here's the latest "Forbidden fruits lead to a lot of jams."

Can Someone Please Explain?

Yesterday, there was a brief but pretty heavy thunderstorm. Because of this my aquacise class (which is held at an indoor pool) was cancelled because people can't be in the pool when it's lightening out. But it's inside? Can anyone explain?

Is It Wrong to Be Happy?

I just found out there was a major problem with a major event at my old job. It seems about 500 tickets were printed with the event time listed as 1:30, but the event actually started at 11:30. A lot of the people had been to the events before and showed up at 11:30, but there were still quite a few that showed up after the event was already over. What makes it even better is that I would have been the one to enter the information into the ticketing system had I still been there.

Psychotic Thought of the Week

You know how on Iron Chef America they sometimes take stuff out of the oven and immediately plunge it into an ice bath in order to "stop the cooking process." Well does that work for people too? Like if I'm at the beach and see myself getting burnt, but jump into a big vat of ice water does it stop the cooking process?

My Mom's Covert Mission

Here's part of a conversation with my mom from last night:

Mom: I made porkies last night with ground turkey instead of ground beef. It hardly tasted any different and it's cheaper and healther than beef.

Me: Why are you whispering?

Mom: Because your dad doesn't know and if he finds out, he won't eat it.

Things that Annoy Me

Coming home from a relaxing weekend at the beach to find that my airconditioner was leaking and soaked the floor of my closet. Luckily, it had just reached my shoes when I found it, so I saved them.

It's all Statistics

What is the percentage of times that I have locked myself out of my apartment after having gone to Border's with Danielle? 100%

What is the percentage of time that I have locked myself out of my apartment after having done anything else, but go to Border's with Danielle? 0%

I see a trend.

Another New Lunch Bag

My mom had heard that my old lunch bag was broken and decided to surprise me with a new one. It's lime green and has instructions in Japanese on the tag. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I already had a new really cute purse-like purple lunch bag.

Things that Annoy Me

When you're told for your job that your being assigned to hug puppies and then two days before you're supposed to go they change their mind and send someone else!! Seriously, I was assigned to hug puppies and then they told me no.

Look at that cute puppy. I could be getting paid to play with something like that, but I'm not.

Psychotic Thought of the Week

Whenever I go to a sleepover or anything with a group of people sleeping in the same room, I always sleep near the center of the room. That way if a psycho killer happens to come along he will most likely kill/mutilate the first person he comes to. No matter whether he comes in through the window or the door that person will not be me, thus giving me time to wake up and get away.

I'm ready

I want football season to start now!!

Already in Stores in State College, PA

The front says "Beat ND" and the back says:

A Little Anxious are we?

Someone Was a Little Angry

Today I bought a case of soda at the grocery store. I brought it home, opened it up and found this.
The weird thing is that the cardboard package was completely normal around it...so that leaves me with?

Things that Annoy Me

If you can't tell what this picture is, this is my neighbor's car parked exactly on top of the line in our parking lot. It has been there since last Saturday.

My Newest Project from Work

It's a fairy crown....duh!

Psychotic Thought of the Week

Before I die, I would really like to sit in a fancy, cloth napkin type restaurant, angrily throw my water in the face of the gentleman sitting across from me and storm out. I think it would be fun and dramatic though I must admit a little cliche.

PS I know I've had a lack of pictures/graphics lately. I have two pictures that I've been trying to post lately but blogger keeps screwing me over.

September 9, South Bend, BE THERE

I will be. :)

Did you know...

Hallmark makes a card for Potty Training...they do.

Stupid People

Today stopped at a red light I saw a mattress on the front of a mini van. It was kinda on the roof, but on the front part of the roof that sloped. It was being held in place by the driver and passenger holding onto the plastic around the mattress with their arms out the windows of the minivan.

Things that make it all worthwhile

Yesterday was a rough day at work for me. One of my coworkers has a husband seriously ill and will be off work for a couple of weeks (we're not sure exactly how long), so of course all her work gets dumped on me.

I got called in to work yesterday evening at a program called Project Mend. It's basically a girl scout troop at the women's detention center, so the moms can see their daughters and do activities and stuff. Well last night there was a new girl that we weren't sure if she would come because her mother and father don't exactly get along and the father doesn't want the mother to see her kids. She showed up and it was a complete surprise to the mother. There was hugging and kissing and crying. We found out the mom hadn't seen her daughter in almost 2 years and the only reason the dad let her come was because the daughter wanted to be involved in Girl Scouting.

That makes all the crap I had to go through yesterday worthwhile.

Psychotic Thought of the Week

It would be really easy to hide the sound of a gunshot during a fireworks display. I'm kinda surprised that hasn't been a CSI. Or maybe it has.

Things that Annoy Me

I have three and they all happened yesterday.

1) Guys in speedos and flippers that disrupt my calming swim by flailing around like a 5 year old.

2) The remote for my new TV doesn't have a back channel button. What kinda piece of trash TV doesn't have a back channel button? And even more annoying anytime you type in a double digit channel you have to press the _ _ button first or else it only recognizes the first number.

3) I went to Starbuck's yesterday to have my first Iced Caramel Macchiatto in about 3 months. This is very serious for me because before I moved there were 4 Starbucks on my 5 mile drive to work (2 on opposite corners from each other, and one across the street from where I worked) so you can only imagine how many Iced Caramel Macchiatto's I used to have. Well, I was very excited when I discovered a new Starbuck's yesterday, only to then have the girl make my drink incorrectly. I don't know exactly what was wrong with it. It was just wrong. Does Starbuck's have secret shoppers? Because they should.

Flooding

This is my grandma's backyard. The steps don't normally go into the water like that. Also, those trees are usually on the bank of the creek.