The Fridge Gnome

My office needs a fridge gnome, but we don't have one. Amanda 2's office does and recently sent out an e-mail to the staff.

"I have been informed that many staff have decided to engage in refrigerator gardening this spring (please note example on the left). While admirable, it is strictly forbidden to use agency facilities for fungal cultivation. SHAME ON YOU!

As a result of this gross (pun intended) lapse in proper fridge usage, there will be a general purging of fridge contents. See below for details. The minions of the Honorable Order of the Fridge Gnome will be throwing this hot dog away Friday, May 21, 2009 at 2:00 PM. Mark your calendars!

And oh yes, along with it ANYTHING left in the fridge and freezer at that time, that does NOT have a Staff name SECURELY affixed to it, in an EASY - TO - SEE way will be thrown in the garbage. This means EVERYTHING. Unopened soda, salad dressings, frozen hot pockets, yogurt, your great aunt’s crystal serving dish, we don’t care. We will NOT be saving anything that is not labeled. No dishes will be washed and saved. Can’t get a label to stick to the side of your container? Don’t care, put it in a bag, tape the bag closed and label that. Take it home or label it, or DON’T WHINE LATER ONCE IT IS GONE. Labels will be placed in a convenient location in the kitchen to be used to label your containers. If our labels don’t work, get your own and don’t complain.

PS: we would like other to join my minions in the fridge purging revelry, please let me know, or show up and pitch in. No whiners, please.

PPS; If you have interns who may use the refrigerator, but who may not be on the mailing list, please tell them as well."

So funny (and soooo gross), did I mention that the fridge gnome has his/her own e-mail address?