Kids Say the Darndest Things

Today I was doing a program for the "school-age" children at a daycare center. They were running a little late from rollerskating that morning and were still eating lunch when we arrived. (Oh, the joys of being 6 and rollerskating your brains out and then feasting on tacos and canned pears.) We were sitting in one of the rooms just waiting for them to finish when one approx. 8 year old boy came up to me and said "I was a crack baby." I kinda started at him and nodded a little bit while I figured out what I could say and also thinking how our nation's youth was slowly deteriorating. I came up with nothing and looked over at the "teacher" (who looked about 14) for some help. She just shrugged...thanks, thanks for that. I looked back at the kid who then, seeing that I really had nothing to say, "No, really, I was." Lovely.

Another Way To Tell You Live Near Old People

Your neighbor has a crocheted steering wheel cover in her car. I'm not even kidding. It's like a blue sweater for her steering wheel. I'm really trying to figure out how to get a picture of it without looking like a car thief.

Things That Annoy Me

Ice cube trays in general, but when they fall out of your freezer and throw ice cubes all over the kitchen and living room floor, they annoy me of so much more.

YEAH, COOKIES!!!

For those of you who don't know, I am like a Girl Scout Cookie Expert. And a lot of you probably don't know, there are actually two different bakers that make Girl Scout Cookies. That is why if you go to different areas of the country, there are different cookies and they go by different names. Back when I was in high school, my home council in PA switched bakers to the "bad baker". Don't get me wrong all Girl Scout cookies are good, just some happen to be better than others. When we switched there was a total uproar among the leaders about how their girls aren't going to be able to sell as many cookies because these new cookies suck. I don't it think it really effected sales that much, but whatever. Anyway, we just got news that we're switching back and I am so psyched about it!! YEAH!!!

The Wedding

This weekend I was at my friend Michelle's wedding in Connecticut. Michelle was my roommate sophmore year in college along with Marcia.

I had an absolutely great time. I wish I could go to a wedding like that every weekend. It was full of great friends, great food, and great drinks. Including several martinis. This one pictured is a "blueberry muffin martini." I was kinda mad because there were actual blueberries in the bottom, and I was saving them for last, but the waitress swooped in and took my glass when I wasn't looking. Also, just look at the number of glasses on the table. Crazy!!

My description isn't going to do the weekend justice so go read Marcia's blog because I'm sure she'll have a much better description of the weekend up soon.

Psychotic Thought of the Day

I think that Prince is a robot. I saw him on that Verizon commercial and realized he doesn't age. And not in a plastic surgery way either. His skin isn't pulled tight over his cheekbones like some sort of tribal drum. Do you know how old he is? Guess...come on. Guess. Write it down. Is it written? WRONG!! He's 49. Can you believe that? He is a robot. I'm not really sure who would build a weird robot like that, but he's a freakin' genius.

Food Art

Today I was all set to blog about how my washer broke, and when I decided it wasn't a maintenance emergency, they sent the maintenance temp idiot and while he fixed what was broken before he broke something else in the process. So instead of spritzing water while the washer was filling, the drainage tube flew off and was spewing water directly on my floor like a fire hose. Which I must say, is a lot more dramatic.

But at work today Amanda made this cute little apple man (luckily I had my camera), and since I'm somewhat of a food art aficionado, I thought I'd post that instead.

The Worst Marketing Campaign EVER

First off, I want to apologize for not blogging a lot. It's been a crazy week. My mom was in town, work has been hell and now I'm sick. I was going to blog about going to see Clue the musical (yes, there is such a thing) and totally rocking the game, but I didn't. Then I was going to blog about my trip to Washington DC with 150,000 Girl Scouts and 7 Boy Scouts, and also going to the International Spy museum (where can I get a lipstick gun), but now I'm sick and am not sure I'm making any sense whatsoever, so I'm going to stay away long narratives. I also have another WOAC (Waste of a Cousin) story, but I'll save that for later.

Now onto what this post is really about. I got an e-mail today that said "Skip the tie, buy dad Tupperware." Um, no. Coming from a girl that got Tupperware for Christmas, this is a bad idea. An extremely bad idea. And I use my Tupperware. This is why men go nuts and chop up their families with an ax.

Part of My Family is Missing the Logic Gene

Update on my younger WOAC (Waste of a cousin). As condition of her parole, she had to attend a rehab program and then go to a halfway house. Well, she finished the rehab program. Even wrote a letter to my grandma asking for money for cigarettes...uh, no. But when my aunt took her to the halfway house they "didn't like the looks of it" and "it was in a bad part of town". (hello? anywhere you are is a bad part of town.) So they turned around and went home, and the next day the police came and took my WOAC back to prison because that's apparently somehow better than a shady halfway house. Who are these people?

WTF??

Today I hit traffic on the highway because of a fender bender. When I passed the crunched up cars that had been moved onto the side of the road, there was an Amish guy standing outside one of them. ????????

Bath and Body Works is My Crack

For anyone who doesn't know, today is the first day of Bath and Body Works' Semi-Annual Sale and even though I don't really need anything, I have to go and by things. Too many things. Why? Because I'm addicted to it like crack. I scheduled my work today so I could leave early and go to the sale. The whole day went like this..."ok, just three more hours till Bath and Body Works." "Now, only two more hours till Bath and Body Works." And then when I finally did get off, one Bath and Body works stop wasn't enough, I went to two. Because everyone knows, the different stores have different things on sale. I was trying to fit in a third, but due to poor planning on my part was not able to fit it in. Now I'm home and going through all the stuff I bought and wondering when I can fit in the third Bath and Body Works store. I think even if the Bath and Body Works Semi-Annual Sale was in some dark shady alley in the city, I would still go.

Is This a Maintenance Emergency?

You know how when you call the doctor's office the message usually says "if this is a medical emergency, please hang up and call 911"? Well, when you call my apartment complex office it says "if this is a maintenance emergency, please press 3." Tonight, as I was doing laundry, I heard a louder than normal water running noise. I found out that water was shooting out from the spigot where the washer is connected to the wall. Is that a maintenance emergency? Because I turned the washer off and it stopped, and I put down towels to mop up the water on the floor, but I do live on the second floor and have a washing machine half full of clothes.

My Awesome Coconut Cream Pie

Check out my awesome coconut cream pie! Thanks for showing me where the recipe was, Amanda L. I made a couple of changes. I used sugar free vanilla pudding instead of regular, shortbread crust instead of graham cracker, and extra creamy cool whip. I also wanted mine to be more coconutty so I mixed 1 1/2 cups of coconut into the filling instead of just 3/4 cup. I want to eat the whole thing right now.