The LAST ::sniff sniff:: Letter from Prison

I should be reading about KFC's operations in Japan right now, but I'm not. Instead, it is a sad and solemn day as the last letter from prison (at least for like a week or so until she undoubtedly gets thrown back in) is posted. (A moment of silence please). My final comments will be in parenthesis as usual.

"I went to court yesterday and I made out so good I got exactly what I needed (a swift kick in the ass? a punch in the face?) and wanted ! (oh, boo) I'm going to the salvation army it's a 6 1/2 month program but i don't know to much about it yet (except that it will get me out of jail and so obviously I'm all for that). I just need to go thru the application process and get a bed. then i'll be out (God help us all). I'm so excited im a lil nervous too (lil? as in lil kim?)! so what did you and aunt jan do while she was there (she cleaned my entire apartment, told me I was too "perfumey" and watched A LOT of basketball.) Did you end up eating ham? (yes, yes we did and this broccoli stuff out of my paula dean cookbook which was amazing. Paula Dean is a freakin' goddess.) I'm glad that I'm getting out now that the weathers warmer so i can wear flip flops too (I guess there's no prison issue flip flops). its so much cheaper than sneakers to match each outfit (uh...how many pairs of flip flops do you think you're stealing...err..buying) well hopefully when i get down there I'll be able to call you like once a week (NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) (I like that the no actually runs off the page of the blog. I thought about fixing it, but decided I liked the effect) instead of having to write cause im so tired of writing (yes, writing is so taxing) but i love getting mail. (thank you caller ID) I cant wait to shave (oh God) it looks like I got buckwheat in a leg lock (she first wrote head lock and then crossed off head and wrote leg. I really could've done without either of those images). hopefully next time you come to PA (never) i'll be able to see you (never) and we can go out to eat or something (never)...I can't wait to eat a big juicey steak (and there is absolutely no way, I'm springing for a steak for your ass). and drink some OJ and cranberry juice (in the words of Joy, and what will you be mixing with that juice?) well I guess Im gonna go you can still write me back here cause i'm not leaving yet (I sent her a letter the day I got this one so that hopefully we might get one more letter back) Happy Easter"

Well, its been a fun run of non-punctuation, poor spelling, horrific grammar, bizarre abbreviations, and shank stories...I'm sad to see it go because now I'll have to come up with something original...boo