House

So I was hoping that there would be something good on TV tonight since I've been watching crap all day (like three episodes of Cash In the Attic on BBC America...I also watched the season finale of Dexter that I had tivo'd. Holy crap!), but alas there's not. There's a repeat of House on though. I used to like House until I realized that every episode was the same. Here's my new house script.

Patient: Oh no! I'm sick and no one knows what's wrong.
House: I'm a jackass but you have to put up with me because I'm the only person that may possibly be able to fix you.
Patient: You're a jerk, but oh well
Minion 1: Maybe he has blah
House: No. Because if he had blah then there would be blah symptoms
Minion 2: Maybe he has yadda
House: No Because if he had yadda then there would be yadda symptoms...he must have doodle...so we need to give him doodle medicine.
Minion 1: But if he doesn't have doodle then doodle medicine will kill him.
House: Oh well...that's why I'm House and you're not
Cuddy: Did I just hear you're giving your patient doodle medicine? That could kill him!
House: If we don't give him doodle medicine then he'll be dead anyway.
::They give the patient Doodle medicine::
Minion 2: Don't worry. This will make you all better.
Patient: Oh no! Now I'm even sicker.
House: well, guess it's not doodle
At this point they go through the whole blah, yadda, doodle conversation again except with other diseases until the patient says or does some random thing and then it all suddenly clicks for House.
House: He must have jibber. Do the jibber procedure on him?
Minions 2&3: Of course, jibber would make total sense though we didn't see it at first because he was doing something that counteracted the jibber symptoms.
They do the random procedure/give the random medicine.
Patient: Hooray! I'm all fixed.
House: I don't really care that I just saved you from a horrible painful demise because I'm screwed up in the head and have pain/relationship issues.

I get impatient with a lot of TV shows that are the same thing over and over again, so I may have to write my takes on those shows as well...should be fun.