Recycling 101

It's come to my attention recently that a few of my friends really have no idea how to recycle. Specifically what "those little numbers on plastic bottles" are. So in honor of Earth Day (I'm only a week late), I thought that I'd inform you.

In certain areas, you can only recycle certain number for curbside pick up. Like where I live, you can only recycle 1's & 2's, but out in Indiana where my parents live you can recycle anything but 5's. So you need to look at the numbers and find out what your area recycles before you just go throwing junk in your plastic bin. If the old person that throws aerosol cans away in our recycling bin is reading this, you can't recycle those either.

The Comment Card

Today Amanda L. and I went to lunch at Applebee's. We found on a table a comment card.

The comment card was completely what you would expect from any restaurant's comment card. Did you enjoy your food? Was the staff friendly and helpful? Etc. Except for the box where it says, "if you do not know your waiter's name, please draw a picture of them. Be kind." Are you kidding? So here is our waiter.

If you see him at Applebee's, he's really good.

My Brilliant Plan

So at work our "team leader" (again not really a leader, not really a team) got promoted to be our manager. That is a total joke! I know I'm going to be in her office every hour explaining how to use excel and e-mail and possibly the phone. Ugh...but I have a brilliant plan. See when her supervisor realizes she is a complete moron, they will fire her (or pile on so much work that she gets overwhelmed and quits). At which point they will be looking for someone to take her place....oh gee, where will we ever find a competent person who has an outstanding college degree and showers on a regular basis and wears normal looking clothes (unlike our team leader now)....well, jsto has all those things...yes, I do. So then they will promote me and I will look like a goddess (because I am) as I fix up everything she screwed up. Not unlike Charlie Weis cleaning up after the Willingham debacle. Brilliant!!

The Spa

Today I went to the Hershey Spa. I got a massage which I LOVE. I am so agreeable after a massage that you could pretty much ask me anything and I'd be ok with it. A black market organ broker could come in and slice out a kidney and I think I'd not put up much of a fight. I think I'd say "forget about the bathtub full of ice. I'm fine here. Can you pass me a hand full of Hershey kisses and a bottle of water?" I had good intentions to go to aquacise after my spa visit. I had even brought other gym clothes in case I was too late for aquacise, but instead I fell asleep in the "quiet room" for what I estimate to be about a half an hour. Until some people started talking....hello? it's called the quiet room for a reason. Do you not see the "please refrain from talking" signs sitting on every table?

The only thing better than a massage was using the $100 gift card that I won for my massage. A couple of weeks ago my coworker Amanda and I had to go to this Business Woman's forum. I didn't have a ticket to go to the luncheon, so instead Amanda and I walked around to the booths stealing all their free giveaways and dropping our business cards into random raffles. It was great because you didn't have to listen to someone blah blah blah about their bank's low interest rates. Those people were all at the luncheon, so we could just go and take all the good stuff that we really want. (I also got a free round of golf). Apparently, I entered something at one of the stands for a bank for $100 Hershey gift card. It was sitting on my desk when I returned from vacation last week. Boo-yah!

Betsy Ross

Last night I went to this dinner where the entertainment was a woman who told about Betsy Ross. Not only did she tell about Betsy Ross and dress in red, white, and blue, but her name was actual Betsy Ross...I would kill myself if my name was Betsy Ross. Educational fact of the day: Betsy Ross was only 24 when she sewed the American flag (makes me feel like even more of a slacker) and the Continental Congress wanted six pointed stars on the flag (which would just look queer), but Betsy convinced them that five pointed stars would be better.

Psychotic Thought of the Day

Ok, so just a warning. I thought of this last night at 2am when I couldn't sleep and was deliriously tired. I wrote it down, so that I'd remember it. When I got up I read it and thought this is way too psychotic to even post, but against my better judgement I'm going to.

Here is my psychotic thought from last night:
If I married a guy whose last name is Green and we have a kid named Soylent and he runs for public office his campaign slogan can be "Soylent Green is people."

Seriously, who thinks of stuff like this?

The Mythical White Bracelet

Some of you may have doubted that it existed, but I'm here to tell you that it does. I've worn it. This mythical bracelet grants access to its wearer to all areas of the College Football Hall of Fame. Apparently since I've left, the Hall of Fame has become more concerned with random people wandering around the museum and offices (wow, think back to the days when the back door was left open and random people would just wander over from the convention center). Now everyone is required to wear a bracelet. Even me.

I had to wear a bracelet in case I was "challenged" while I was there. Who could dare challenge me? Possibly some unknowing volunteer or intern. And here is exactly what I would say to anyone who would think of challenging me.

"Do you know who I am? I am JSto" (Sidenote: the Hall of Fame is where I gained that nickname.) "Go look in the office at the Intern Hall of Fame plaque under Marketing Intern Summer 2002. There I am. I have put out more programs than you have ever seen, sold more mulligans than you could even imagine, and broken more melons for Stay In Bounds than you will eat in a lifetime. Where were you when Sonny Franck decided to recount his college football career game by game for 40 minutes at the Enshrinement press conference? I was there. Where were you when our cashier quit an hour before her shift on USC weekend Friday? I was running tickets. Where were you when the golf outing ran an hour and a half over so that no Hall of Famers were at the reunion autograph session? I was battling off autograph seeking crazies. Where were you when it poured for the inaugural Enshrinement parade? I was soaked and gathering Hall of Famers under the overhang of a liquor store. Where were you when the wrong patches were put on the Hall of Fame blazers? I was in the back of JC Penney's with a seam ripper. So how dare you even think you have any authority over me. Now go back to wandering around talking to yourself and leave me alone."

Luckily I didn't have to do that. The bracelet also wasn't put on very tightly, so I was able to slide it off without even stretching it. So I'm renting it out for $5 a day. (Which is a savings of $6 off of admission.)

Ms Fix-It

Most of my vacation has been spent helping my parents fix things which have been broken for months and which they have been secretly stock-piling until I come to fix it. The computer "this little box keeps popping up and won't go away." The printer "it won't turn on." The tv "we can't get the volume to go up or down." The DVD player "it sounds like its playing, but there's no picture on the screen." My dad's digital camera "it won't turn on...I think it might be the battery or something." On a side note, my dad got his digital camera from some Japanese lady and the instruction booklet is completely in Japanese. The coffee pot at last night's basketball banquet "We couldn't get any coffee to come out, so we tried to unscrew the lid, but only the top half of the lid came off and now little styrofoam balls are coming out." Glad to see their getting their money back from that Notre Dame education.

That's not to mention all the help I was with the Vista ticketing system at the Hall of Fame. I didn't really fix it though because there's not really a fix for being a complete worthless piece of crap.

Oh and By the Way

My mom no longer has jury duty. She received a message that the case was settled out of court. YAY!

Danielle Is Stealing My Life

Did anyone see the movie Single White Female? Ok, it's not to that extent yet. At least not that I know of. (By the way, did anyone know there was a Single White Female 2 made only 13 years after the first. It's called Single White Female 2: The Psycho--as if the first one wasn't psycho.)

It all started Saturday when Danielle was supposed to take me to the airport, but because of my little flight issue/cancellation, her mom had to take me instead. Fine. I leave my car at their house when I travel. I don't live in a bad neighborhood or anything, but my neighbors tend to have random teenage kids hanging out in the parking lot at all hours of the night. I drive to Danielle's house and her mom is having car problems. Her car won't start, so she asks if she can borrow my car until it gets fixed. Sure no problem. I get a voicemail from Danielle yesterday that not only is she using my car (which has ND alumni license plates on it), but she also decided that since she had my key ring and not hers she would use my pass to get into the gym. Next thing she's probably be renting all sorts of weird movies with my Blockbuster card...oh wait, she's already done that before. I haven't figured out exactly how yet, but I know this is somehow a plan to get out of going to Germany with her mom.

Have No Fear

In an update to a previous post, Keith Richards will apparently suffer no harm from snorting his dad's ashes...the cocaine though, is a problem.

I Love the Old Lady Downstairs

Sis is the lady that lives downstairs from me. She called me yesterday to see if I was going away for Easter. I told her that I would be away all week next week and that I was leaving on Saturday. Today when I went home for lunch I found a Easter snack bag on my door for my trip. In it was a mini can of pepsi, a cadbury egg, a peanut butter egg and a coconut egg, a mini box of jr mints, a plastic container with chocolate turtles, some weird looking cookies, a pack of peanut butter crackers, a bag of white cheddar popcorn and an Easter card. Too cute!!

Things That Annoy Me More Than Jury Duty

Finding out that your flight was cancelled and instead of leaving at 9:14 am you will now be leaving at 4:05 pm and instead of arriving at 12:57 pm, you will now be arriving at 8:20 pm.

Things that Annoy Me

Planning a trip to Indiana for Easter and the entire week after to see your parents (especially your mom) and finding out that your mom just got called for jury duty the Tuesday that you are there. Typical.

My Other Job As a Marketing Consultant

My dad is in marketing. This is basically how I got involved in marketing. Whenever his marketing managers were completely sucking, he would bring home stuff and asked me what I think. I loved it and I love it more now. When I was in 4th grade, he worked for a lawn and garden company that was rolling out a line of tools for kids and I got to help pick the colors.

Yesterday, he e-mailed me a list of names and said his company wants to develop a line of carrying cases for drums to be marketed to 12-25 year olds and was looking for a name that was "young, tough, and edgy." After sadly realizing I was no longer included in this age category, I looked over the list his marketing manager had sent him and believe they are the most un-young, tough and edgy names I have ever seen. Sometimes I think marketing people get so wrapped up in their own bullshit that they don't realize how ridiculous they are being. Below are some of the worst names:

Harlow
Boli (This makes me think of stromboli which just makes me hungry)
Tusk (I think of a walrus)
Eiffel (Cause the eiffel tower is really edgy and is like "hey, leaning tower of pisa, I'm going to come kick your ass")
Gill (perhaps the most un young, tough and edgy word in the English language)
Rockwell
Palais

Hello? Can we get a clue?

Why??

All I can say is EWWW. What is this world coming to?

My One Year Anniversary

Can you believe that I've been back in Pennsylvania for a year?? I can't. It's been fun though.

My Bracket, the Final Chapter

Let's just say that I have a little extra money burning a hole in my pocket.

Why I Won't Be Getting Flowers on April 19th

April 19th is staff appreciation day at work. The volunteers are supposed to send in food for the staff and cards and things like that to make us feel better about the fact that we might not have jobs in a month. I just got back from a volunteer recognition dinner and the volunteers in that area wanted me to know that they wanted to send me flowers for staff appreciation day, but were told they weren't allowed to. They had called my boss because they weren't sure what day staff appreciation was and my boss told them it would be unfair if I got flowers and other staff members don't. Bite me. Maybe other staff members suck and don't deserve flowers. That my friends is why I won't be getting flowers on April 19th.