The Mythical White Bracelet

Some of you may have doubted that it existed, but I'm here to tell you that it does. I've worn it. This mythical bracelet grants access to its wearer to all areas of the College Football Hall of Fame. Apparently since I've left, the Hall of Fame has become more concerned with random people wandering around the museum and offices (wow, think back to the days when the back door was left open and random people would just wander over from the convention center). Now everyone is required to wear a bracelet. Even me.

I had to wear a bracelet in case I was "challenged" while I was there. Who could dare challenge me? Possibly some unknowing volunteer or intern. And here is exactly what I would say to anyone who would think of challenging me.

"Do you know who I am? I am JSto" (Sidenote: the Hall of Fame is where I gained that nickname.) "Go look in the office at the Intern Hall of Fame plaque under Marketing Intern Summer 2002. There I am. I have put out more programs than you have ever seen, sold more mulligans than you could even imagine, and broken more melons for Stay In Bounds than you will eat in a lifetime. Where were you when Sonny Franck decided to recount his college football career game by game for 40 minutes at the Enshrinement press conference? I was there. Where were you when our cashier quit an hour before her shift on USC weekend Friday? I was running tickets. Where were you when the golf outing ran an hour and a half over so that no Hall of Famers were at the reunion autograph session? I was battling off autograph seeking crazies. Where were you when it poured for the inaugural Enshrinement parade? I was soaked and gathering Hall of Famers under the overhang of a liquor store. Where were you when the wrong patches were put on the Hall of Fame blazers? I was in the back of JC Penney's with a seam ripper. So how dare you even think you have any authority over me. Now go back to wandering around talking to yourself and leave me alone."

Luckily I didn't have to do that. The bracelet also wasn't put on very tightly, so I was able to slide it off without even stretching it. So I'm renting it out for $5 a day. (Which is a savings of $6 off of admission.)