Revelation

The other day my mom and I were discussing which cartoons I liked when I was little and suddenly I remember Jem. I seriously don't know how I had forgotten about Jem. I mean I even had the Jem doll. I was explaining to my dad who Jem was when I had a revelation. OMG, Jem is Hannah Montana. Normal person by day...rockstar by night. Only Jem transformed to Jem by touching her earrings and getting Synergy to change her. (Did you know Jem's alter ego was named Jerrica? Why aren't there more Jerrica's running around?) Jem was also cooler than Hannah Montana because she had cool punk rock hair and facepaint.

When I explained this big discovery to my mom she responded with "I think the whole thing is stupid. Like no one realizes she disappears when Hannah Montana is around. Duh!" ha

Nice Try

Last night at the Notre Dame basketball game:

Me: What is up with that lady's hair?
My Dad: I don't know. She has a huge tattoo on her lower back too.
Me: Nice.
My Dad: What's that called? A trash stash?
Me: Uh...a tramp stamp?
My Dad: oh yeah...that's it.

He tries so hard to be one of the cool kids. I've also taught him to do the fist bump with the explode out that "all the kids are doing now," so he's really excited.

Sky Mall

This post is going to be shorter than I originally anticipated. I thought that I'd have lots of extra time to blog about things while I was at my parents, but I was wrong for a few reasons. 1) I forgot that my parents still have dial up and it takes about 15 minutes to load any web page during which time I want to scratch my eyes out. 2) I forgot how tired I was from a rigorous semester at B-school...(I slept for 11 hours two days in a row without waking up.) 3) I have been perpetually cold since arriving in South Bend and have spent most of my "spare" time wrapped up in blankets.

On my flight in, I was enjoying a SkyMall and all the bizarre oddities it has to offer and wondering "who buys this crap?" I found one thing that I just HAD to blog about. I also had several more weird items that I thought I'd add to lengthen the blog, but due to my time constraints those will be omitted. The one that you HAVE to check out is the "Telekinetic Obstacle Course". I honestly can not decide whether this is the coolest or the stupidest thing I have ever seen. I mean really! You can move the ball through the obstacle course with your brain! That's freakin' awesome....but at the same time stupid, right? I also like that fact that you can interchange the the obstacles to make it different each time. I showed this to my mom and her comment was "what if you spend the $100 and then find out you're too stupid to do it." I think that's funny.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and hopefully I become funnier in the New Year!

House

So I was hoping that there would be something good on TV tonight since I've been watching crap all day (like three episodes of Cash In the Attic on BBC America...I also watched the season finale of Dexter that I had tivo'd. Holy crap!), but alas there's not. There's a repeat of House on though. I used to like House until I realized that every episode was the same. Here's my new house script.

Patient: Oh no! I'm sick and no one knows what's wrong.
House: I'm a jackass but you have to put up with me because I'm the only person that may possibly be able to fix you.
Patient: You're a jerk, but oh well
Minion 1: Maybe he has blah
House: No. Because if he had blah then there would be blah symptoms
Minion 2: Maybe he has yadda
House: No Because if he had yadda then there would be yadda symptoms...he must have doodle...so we need to give him doodle medicine.
Minion 1: But if he doesn't have doodle then doodle medicine will kill him.
House: Oh well...that's why I'm House and you're not
Cuddy: Did I just hear you're giving your patient doodle medicine? That could kill him!
House: If we don't give him doodle medicine then he'll be dead anyway.
::They give the patient Doodle medicine::
Minion 2: Don't worry. This will make you all better.
Patient: Oh no! Now I'm even sicker.
House: well, guess it's not doodle
At this point they go through the whole blah, yadda, doodle conversation again except with other diseases until the patient says or does some random thing and then it all suddenly clicks for House.
House: He must have jibber. Do the jibber procedure on him?
Minions 2&3: Of course, jibber would make total sense though we didn't see it at first because he was doing something that counteracted the jibber symptoms.
They do the random procedure/give the random medicine.
Patient: Hooray! I'm all fixed.
House: I don't really care that I just saved you from a horrible painful demise because I'm screwed up in the head and have pain/relationship issues.

I get impatient with a lot of TV shows that are the same thing over and over again, so I may have to write my takes on those shows as well...should be fun.

I AM SOOO BORED

I am really really bored. I've cleaned my apartment and done all my shopping and wrapping and packed and everything. Normally this would be the perfect blogging time, but my life is currently so boring that I have nothing funny to say at all. A shame really. I actually thought about going to the mall/Wal-mart today just to see stupid people doing stupid things so that I could blog about it, but I'm also not really in a mood to deal with stupid people so I didn't. No worries though I'm going to be in South Bend for a week followed by Pennsylvania for a week followed by a week back in W-S with Amanda 1....sure to have something interesting happen...I hope.

Letters from Prison

Today is my first day of winter break. So after taking a shower, I put my pajamas on and climbed back in bed.....yeah! Rest! But I thought I'd at least blog so that I felt like something productive was happening (not that watching Matlock isn't productive). I received this letter actually before Thanksgiving, but then all that Thanksgiving stuff happened and well...what can I say...it got pushed aside. But now...it's time.

"Hey, how are you doing? I hope you made out ok with all the work you had and didn't get to overwelmed...Oh i just want to apologize about my spelling thur-out all my letter cause spelling is one of my sore spots!! (no kidding, it only took you this long to figure it out.) You've prolly had some laughs though. (oh, you have nooo idea!) Well my mom went upstate on the 3rd (i still don't know where upstate PA is.) She'll be there for a couple months then whens she done getting evaluated she come back here and been sentenced! (no apologies for grammer? just spelling? really?)

"I can't believe how big everyone is getting. Its so crazy (i don't know where this came from. I didn't send her pictures or anything). Did you dress up as anything on Halloween? Nan and Kathy are going to Phg. (That's her abbreviation for Pittsburgh...yeah, i don't get it either) for the ND game. Nans is oppsessed (oh, honey, this is just sad. she originally wrote oppessed and crossed it out and wrote oppsessed) with ND now haha. I liked it there I one time I visited it seem like a fun place and historical. (is she even reading this as she's writing? and I'm not really sure ND looks either fun or historical though it is kinda both...i guess). "

" so on the card where is the garden from? Nevermind I just read the back of the card and found out haha. (hahahahahaha) Well Im very glad that you are still make time to write me back. im really greatful for that. talk 2 you soon."

So I haven't written back lately because my grandma keeps telling me she's supposed to be moved somewhere, so I odn't want to waste a letter that she's not going to get. Oh well.

ALBATROSS!

Saturday: the last day of my trip. I got up and went to Body Pump which kicked my ass even though I made sure to lift lighter than I had back in July. I was seriously sore till Tuesday though. Good sore. I went to Panera (still gross from the gym, but oh well) and tried to do some homework, only to be repeatedly called/texted by my cousin Aubrey reminding me that I had promised to take them to see New Moon.

So after showering and changing, I picked up Aubrey and her sister Molly and went to the movie. I also realized I can start getting in for the student rate again! WOOHOO! (even though some of us never stopped ::cough Danielle cough::). I hadn't seen the first movie or read any of the books or anything, but New Moon was ok. It made me kinda mad for some reason and I'm really not sure why. Maybe the over dramatic nature of the whole thing and everyone in it falling into a suicidal depression over losing their high school boy/girlfriend...color me jaded.

Then I dropped them off (even though Aubrey kept hinting that she wanted to go to dinner) because I had to get ready for my ten year high school reunion. I picked up Danielle at her house ...and she bitched about going some more and we came up with our "let's blow this joint" code word "Albatross." Within five minutes of arriving at the Appalachian Brewing company she began yelling "Albatross! Albatross!" I thought the reunion was pretty good. No one that we really hung out with in high school was there, but that was ok because there was plenty of people who were willing to pretend that they were your best friend in high school. They all pretty much married each other and still live within 10 miles of where we grew up and all work for the State of Pennsylvania. The bad part is that they didn't have name tags or anything so there were lots of people that I had no idea what their name was. I knew they were in homeroom with me or whatever, but as far as name...total blanko. The other weird thing is that all the girl's voices seemed to be an octave higher than they used to be. One of our classmate's band played and I felt bad because they were pretty good but were really loud so everyone was out in the bar area talking. So I had some food and beer, did shots with the randomest bunch of girls from high school ever, watched part of the Notre Dame/Stanford game on the TV by the bar (the part where they were winning...ps since he was punched I've started using "Jimmy Clausen" as an action...."Don't make me Jimmy Clausen your ass.") and then left. I took Danielle home and she insisted that I come in and explain to her mom why she was so drunk.

Sunday I drove back to NC. Got stuck in stop and go traffic for most of Virginia and realized that Danielle never gave me the Gazebo Room dressing she had bought me...oh well.

Hmmm...I've had a letter from prison sitting around...maybe I'll blog it...maybe I won't

Target, 4am

Black Friday. The first Black Friday in a long time that my dad and I wouldn't be going to a mall somewhere to watch crazy people and buy things for ourselves. Amanda invited me to go with her bright and early to get a vacuum. Why not? Haven't you always wondered what happens at 4am on Black Friday. My alarm went off at 3am...GROAN...I can't honestly remember the last time I saw 3am....it's been a while. I met Amanda (and her fiance's 17? year old brother Josh) at her house. We stopped at Sheetz for coffee and breakfast. (Believe it or not Sheetz was actually having Black Friday sales on windshield wiper fluid...who knew?) Then we went to Target and got in line. We listened to crazy stories about previous Black Friday sales from the people standing around us. I also thought about sneaking in with an employee, but didn't. There was also this:

A scary person dressed up as a barber pole handing out free haircut coupons...creepy. Target employees came by and gave us maps of where all the specials were in the store. Unfortunately, the vacuum wasn't on it, so we made plans to split up and find the vacuum. The doors opened at 5am, and everything was rather orderly except the people walking over from the parking lot and trying to jump in line. Amanda had sent me towards the area where the TV's that were on special were. Thanks a lot! There was lots of ruckus and whatnot....no trampling though and also no vacuums. Amanda finally found her vacuum and all was well.

From there we went to Best Buy. Nothing really exciting happened there except that the line was super long and wound pretty much the whole way around the store.

After Best Buy we headed to Five Below because I had promised my grandma that I'd help her get stocking stuffers for the kids. There I got possibly the best buy of the day. This:

Isn't it hysterical looking? It's called a Gulper and the tag says "Danger: Do not stick your finger all the way in your Gulper and pull on its tail." There's no other real instructions so of course the first thing you want to do is stick your finger in and pull on the tail, but your also a little nervous to do so in the store should anything go awry and the thing gets stuck. So we bought it. Also pretty funny is the fact that's it's name is "Sucky" and "Sucky has a good appetite but a bad attitude." At one point in the store, Josh had taken it from me and I very loudly yelled "Give me sucky!" Well, that didn't really come out right. It turns out sucky has like a Chinese finger trap thing in its mouth that "sucks" on your finger when you stick it in. I also enjoy that the tag says "US and International patents pending." Really? This is patented?

From there we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond...not really for any purpose except that we were close to it. Then off to Wal-mart because we felt like we needed to go to Wal-mart on Black Friday and were hoping to get into some fights...we didn't though... :-(

After eating cereal at Amanda's house, and then going for Chinese food, we went to the Harrisburg mall to see Santa's sand sculpture thing ...why a mall in Harrisburg has a giant sand sculpture I'll never get (so glad that there's pictures on the web so I could share though). Then I went back to my grandma's (it was still only like 1pm) and slept for two hours and then did homework the rest of the night....exciting!

Thank You, Feet

Isn't it weird how since my b-school work has gone down my creative juices have suddenly spiked which leads to blogging (I actually have a running list of things I want to blog about). My feet are still killing me from the shoes I wore to the B-school Christmas party on Friday (and I kinda can't feel the toe next to my baby toe...which might be bad). I think maybe they're pissed at me for not giving them the proper recognition for all that I put them through. Since part of my Organizational Behavior talent management project is on the power of Thank You, I thought that I'd try to appease my feet by thanking them for the great work they've done throughout my life.

Thank You, feet:

• For not going to pieces when I pulled a filing cabinet on you when I was four
• For not becoming one big callous even though I spend half of my life barefoot
• For not being ashamed when I let my cousins paint your nails glo in the dark orange
• For not being self conscious when my dad says you look like baby feet (or when I refer to your toes as snausages)
• For not being a complete bitch when I took pointe in high school. I know it was a difficult time for both of us and you'd sometimes bleed through the toe padding or have blisters that would then be excruciating in the shower, but you're not completely deformed from the experience and so I give that a plus
• For staying strong even when I do stupid things like drop a jar of banana peppers on you
• For putting up with me when I try to cram you into shoes a size too small because they are cute and purple
• For not breaking off when I walked to college dances with open toe shoes in a foot of snow (or last year when my mom made me attend the ND soccer game in November and you went completely numb)
• For not freaking out during the 60 mile walk of the 3-day last year. You actually rocked it. No blisters just a little soreness...I'll take it
• For still walking me around a large art show on Sunday after being in uncomfortable (yet cute) shoes for three days during Hall of Fame Enshrinement
• For not breaking in half when my crazy yoga teacher made me do downward dog on the tops of you

I know you've gotten complements before like when the lady at the dance store told you that you were beautiful ballet feet, and the lady at the grocery store gave me root beer barrels because you rocked those wedge heels, but I know that I don't say it enough, so thank you, feet, for putting up with all my crap. (Let's hope that works)

Thanksgiving Day

I woke up and watched the Macy's parade on TV which was nice. When I was little, we traveled a lot over Thanksgiving, and my dad NEVER let me watch the parades...boo on him. Instead we used to go to theme parks with all the non-American/non-English speaking tourists...good memories. But I have to say that parade coverage is not as good as it was when I was little. There's too much fluff (dancing, singing, interviews, etc.). I also remember there being one network that carried like four parades and would jump to different areas of the country to cover like the Chicago Parade and Disneyworld/land parade and one that was on boats or something. Whatever happened to that? Do we really need two networks covering the Macy's parade?

My uncle Bill cooked Thanksgiving dinner so we drove over to his place. My grandma always wants me to drive her car and looks at me weird when I say "no, that's ok, I prefer taking mine." She also gets annoyed that I take the highway. Food is always really good (we have both ham and turkey) though there are some things that when I "grow up" (yeah, like that'll happen) won't be a part of my traditional Thanksgiving. 1) Crudites (why won't blogger do an accent egu? That's croo-dee-tays...but without the egu ...aka that slanty line over the e...it looks like croo-dites) Anyway, there is no need for raw veggies on a Thanksgiving table. No one eats them. No one likes them. They're just filler. 2) Plain green beans...I want my green bean casserole damn it. 3) in bird and out of bird stuffing If you don't like the stuffing that was in the bird, then you're not eating stuffing. 4) Chicken nuggets. If you are a spoiled kid, you are not getting chicken nuggets. You are going to find something on the table and eat it just like everyone else. End of story.

No real drama. My trouble maker cousins are still in jail. Though my cousin Aubrey did storm away from the table during dinner because she felt that her mom was "judging her friends." Gotta love teenage angst.

After dinner my uncle made everyone go for a walk around the block. Adults were exempt from the mandatory walk, though everyone went except myself and my cousin Heidi. I figured this would be a good time to catch up on reading my marketing case for Monday's class. I was wrong though as Heidi talked my ear off the entire time. My parents called from Australia while everyone was out walking which was very lucky for them because there was no one else that insisted on talking to them.

Everyone came back from the walk and the kids took shifts doing the dishes. There seemed to be a lot of dropping of silverware going on though. My cousin Sierra did my hair (which is a lot less painful now that I have short hair...Not long enough for tying knots in or getting hairbands completely tangled.) She also gave me two "foot" massages. One foot massage was the traditional type with her actually massaging my feet (kinda nice), but the other one was her massaging my shoulders WITH her feet (not my favorite). Hmmm....I think that's about it. I went home and tried to go to bed fairly early so that I wasn't a complete walking zombie for Black Friday shopping.

Up next: what does happen at Target at 4am on Black Friday?

It's Confirmed

I just got home from the B-school X-mas party, and I can't sleep, so I'm blogging. My academic team decided to go out to dinner before the party. I was sitting at the table next to Salem, one of my team member's girlfriends. Dress for the party was "cocktail" attire and I wore my kick ass Ralph Lauren dress that I had worn to the black tie wedding in May. Salem had on a similar strapless dress. All of the sudden a man appeared beside us holding an approximately 4 year old girl.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner," he said. "But she wanted to come over and see the princesses."

Awww...how cute. The girl was really shy and just buried her head in the man's shoulder. Then when we left, the girl and her family was leaving as well. "Here's the princesses you were telling us about...say goodbye to them." Too adorable!

Well, now that's it been officially confirmed that I am a princess (as I've always suspected) I expect to be treated as one.

Almost Back from Australia

My dad e-mailed me to say that they were on the way to the airport to fly back to the US.

Me: When's my koala being shipped?
Dad: You mean koala steaks.

Terrible.

Thanksgiving "Break"

On Wednesday of my break, I started the morning off with Zumba at my old gym....oh, how I've missed you, Zumba....let me count the ways. (Incidentally I've also really missed the Gold's Gym in Harrisburg too more than I ever knew) The awesomest Zumba/yoga/body pump/urban striptease instructor in the world, Nancie left me a guest pass for the week. (did I mention how awesome she is? Cause she's awesome).

After that I went to the candy store by the Girl Scout office...oh Zimmerman's candy store...how I've missed you. I bought some gummy aqualife (of course), Zimmerman's peanut butter, and licorice for my dad for Christmas. Then I met Carmen for lunch and we went to Las Delicias for lunch (I've missed you too, Las Delicias). I got all the dirt going on in GSHPA (and believe you me there is dirt!) And Carmen had gotten me SALSA MIX!!! from fall product sale. Good thing they didn't get rid of it like we thought they were. Of course I had to actually go into the office and say hi to everyone and act like I was SOOO glad to see them.

After that I went to find free wifi so that I could do homework. That's why I put break in quotes. Because very little actual breaking was done. I decided to go to Isaac's. The waitress there gave me dirty looks, but it was 3pm, there was only one other table with people at it, and I had ordered pie and milk, so I'm not really sure what she wanted from me. I worked on some homework (and checked my e-mail, facebook, etc.)

Grandma had made me spaghetti, salad and then of course forced me to eat more ice cream. ::sigh:: After that I went to Amanda 1's house and she made me go on a little scavenger hunt to find something that was for me. After picking up 10 random things and saying "is this it?" "Is this it?" "Is this it?" , I finally picked up the Reese's peanut butter (that I knew had to be for me because I've only been complaining for months that I can't find it in North Carolina). Yes, I got two different types of PB...Zimmerman's PB is no sugar added so I eat that on apples and crackers and stuff and Reese's PB rocks, so I use that for baking all my yummy treats.

Up next....Thanksgiving Day.

The Long Road Home

Yes, I just referred to PA as home. Amanda 1, doesn't that make you pleased? Tuesday before Thanksgiving I had a finance midterm in the morning and then was planning on driving back to PA after that. I had packed over the weekend so all I needed to do was load stuff in my car and go. The exam was pretty much the ass kicking that I expected and even though I was prepared for it, felt completely brain drained afterwards. I loaded up my car, packed a lunch, and drove glossy eyed through most of North Carolina. The weather was kind of annoying as it was partly cloudy and so would go from dark to bright and I kept having to put my sunglasses on and off. My mom had also given me a book on CD (or book on DVD as she calls them) to listen to on my drive...which I enjoy much more than actual books....but the voice of the reader kinda annoyed me and the plot was slightly ridiculous. I still listened to pretty much of it and would switch to music when I realized I was spacing out.

Mapquest told me it would take 7 hours and 14 minutes to get to my grandma's, but JSto time says roughly 6 1/2 hours....that's including stopping at Dairy Queen for a blizzard...mmmm...icecream and potty break. I also made it the whole way to PA on one tank of gas which for some reason made me extremely excited. Surprisingly, a 6 1/2 hour drive is like nothing to me since I'm used to doing 9 hours from PA to South Bend...weird. So I got to my grandma's house and she fed me more icecream even though I told her multiple times that I had already had ice cream..."well, there's always room for ice cream...just have a little...it's chocolate." As if chocolate somehow is less filling/fattening/gluttonous. Then we watched the Dancing With the Stars finale because my grandma is a DWTS addict. I spent most of the time explaining who the various stars were though. (What's she do? Singer. What's he do? Singer What's she do? well...her dad's ozzy osborne.)

I was going to blog about Wednesday right now too, but facebook keeps distracting me, so this will have to do for now.

In an unrelated rant, tonight at yoga I got a cramp in my calf and it was really hard to not scream obscenities.

Sometimes B-school Can Be Fun

I know I still have to blog about my Thanksgiving break. I haven't forgotten, but also I haven't really been motivated either.

Today was our last OB (Organizational Behavior) class. As a "fun" review, we split up into groups, and each group picked an OB concept and a mode of presentation out of a hat. So for example, my group picked Onboarding and Tragedy. (Onboarding is the process of getting new people up to speed and acclimated with the organization...for anyone that didn't know.) Other modes were rap, country song, poetry, etc.

For our tragedy we decided that pretty much everyone in the skit had to kill themselves. My friend Ahkesha was our "new hire". She came in addressed her "supervisor" Ben and asked where she should go. (PS this was all done in British accents because tragedy is just better with British accents). Ben said he didn't have time for her and told her to go ask around. She proceeded to walk around to various audience members and ask them if they knew where she should go, which of course they didn't. She found an empty desk and with nothing to do proceeded to fall asleep.

Enter me, playing the IT person. I was bringing in her computer so that she could actually do work. Seeing that she was asleep, but assuming she had killed herself (because that's what happens in tragedies), I blame myself for not having her computer to her on time and proceed to hang myself with the computer power cord. (which of course was met with raucous laughter).

Enter Manibou, playing the HR person with a stack of HR paperwork for Ahkesha to fill out. Again thinking that Ahkesha is dead and that he should've been there to greet her is guilt ridden and paper cuts his wrists and bleeds to death. (again raucous laughter. I also couldn't help but laughing as I lay "dead" on the floor)

Ben enters (as the supervisor) blames himself...blah blah blah...staple to the heart. End of Ben.

Ahkesha wakes up, sees the death that she has caused. Spouts a line from Julius Ceasar and flings herself out a window. (not really....in reality she pushed the white board up, said her line, jumped, and did a trailing off "ahhhhhhhh").

Pretty grim, but also hysterical. The other methods of death that did not make it into our play (because we didn't have enough people) were a paper clip in the electrical socket and bludgeoning oneself with a heavy paperweight (we didn't have a heavy paperweight to use as a prop). Fun class!

Signs That You're Studying Too Much

I have my Ipod on while I'm studying for accounting. The song U+Me = Us (Calculus) by 2ge+her came on and I thought "if U was equity and Me was liabilities then Us would be assets"....ugh...Thanksgiving break, I need you!

My Parents Leave for Australia

This is going to be a serious post for once. I apologize for my readers who only want the funny, ridiculous posts. This is more of a post to just inform everyone of what's going on in my life. Over Thanksgiving my parents are going to Australia for two weeks for a wedding of my dad's Southeast Asia Sales Director (or some such person). When I first heard this news, it really really upset me. As an only child, I really saw it as my dad picking his work over me (whether that is really fair to him or not). There's been a fairly long history of his work coming first is my life and this was just one big final blow. It's Thanksgiving!

Anyway, it is what it is. I'm going to make the best of it and go back to PA which should lead to lots to post about. It may or may not include: my cousin getting out of prison, a visit to the Girl Scout office, going to Chuck E Cheese with Stefanie and her kids, 21 people at Thanksgiving dinner, 5 am black Friday Wal-mart shopping, wedding planning with Amanda and last but certainly not least my 10 year high school reunion. Unfortunately I'll be staying with my grandma who does not have internet, so most of this will probably have to wait until I get back to be blogged about. I'll take good notes though and try to throw in some pictures.

My Fashion Czar

A couple of weeks ago I went to a guest speaker that talked about the importance of having a mentor. She actually suggested that you should have a "round table" of mentors. (eg: an industry mentor, a personal life mentor, a career mentor, etc.) I've decided that I'm naming czars instead of mentors because any word with a "z" is infinitely cool.

One of the czars that I've gotten the most use out of is my "fashion czar" Marcia. Marcia has been my go to fashion consultant since we roomed together in college, now she just has a cool title to go along with it. I pretty much listen to whatever she says (though some ideas I understand but totally veto...aka leggings as pants). Recently we had an e-mail correspondence regarding my attire for my upcoming high school reunion:

Me: Ok, fashion czar....I have my 10 year high school reunion in 2 weeks. What do I wear? Please keep in mind that this is in Middletown, PA at a bar and that the invitation actually had written on it "please no hats or sneakers." ha
Marcia: some sort of business-casual dress. That's my first reaction. Hold, pls, and I will find some photographic evidence.
Marcia: are you a member of ruelala.com?
Me:No, I'm not...what is it?
Marcia: oh good god.

And that's why I need a fashion czar...especially a fashion czar that lives in NYC. I'm in Winston-Salem, not exactly a fashion mecca. Today I ordered a dress online for $14.99...let's just hope it comes in time, fits, and is not totally ugly....my mom on the other hand told me to wear nothing to my reunion. "It just says no hats or sneakers. It doesn't say you have to wear clothes." Funny, mom, funny.

Things That Annoy Me

The Wake Forest Demon Deacon...Done...End Post

Ok, not really. I actually kinda like the Demon Deacon (he looks kinda stoned...so that's fun). I mean he's no leprechaun, but really who is? But what bothers me about the Demon Deacon is his costume. His bowtie is actually attached to the head part of the costume rather than the outfit part of the costume. So when he looks right or left or up or down the bowtie moves with his head since its attached to the chin. That's just stupid. Just attach it to the costume...problem solved.

Danielle's Visit: Days 2 & 3

I should probably be ironing my clothes or something else more productive, but I'm not. I'm blogging before I lose my motivation.

On Danielle's 2nd day of visiting, nothing really happened. I woke up at 12:45 and discovered that she had fallen asleep with the TV on so I snuck out to turn it off. Then at 5:50 my power went out and was off for about ten minutes, so I got up, located my cell phone and set my alarm....anyway, i didn't sleep very well.

I went to class...yadda yadda yadda...I came home and Danielle and I went to dinner and then to Wal-mart so that she could get an REO Speedwagon CD for her boss. Really the only thing of note that happened was Danielle started to say something about rednecks and then was like "nevermind...I forgot where I was."

Day 3 was of course the big day. Again, I went to class, and I had a review session for my quant class. I began to regret making the decision to go to the concert, but then I resolved to stick with my "less Type A Jen" and not worry so much for about it. (My quant exam is tomorrow...so we'll see how that works out). There were supposed to be four of us going to the concert: me, Danielle and two of my Wake friends, but they freaked out about work (like I was tempted to do) and didn't go.

We went to the box office and at first they told us that the band's list wasn't in yet (Ugh...this again?), but they decided to check my name anyway and surprise surprise the tickets were there. Along with the backstage passes.


It looks fake, doesn't they. I think I bought something like that at a Backstreet Boys concert once. We also got the sticker passes like I'm used to.
We also got instructions on where to go after REO's set. We were slightly confused because we thought REO was headlining, but it turns out that them and Styx switch every night. That's weird. Our seats were 10th row center on the floor (apparently this is where all the band's free tickets are because if you remember for the BSC concert we were in about the same place). Night Ranger opened...for those of you that don't know who Night Ranger is think "Sister Christian." Danielle fell in love with their keyboard player, and they were also interesting because their drummer is their lead singer which is a little unusual. They were pretty good. Next was REO. They were also really good. Afterwards we went back the little hallway and were herded into a "media room" with about 20 other people including a group of ridiculously drunk women who were threatened to be kicked out. Then an official manager type guy made us all be quiet and pay attention and gave us the rules...woah! This is intense!

1) Know how to use your camera
2) The guitar players hands are very sensitive so no hard handshakes.
3) Stay spread out. They will come to you.
4) The flu is going around so keep your bodily fluids to yourself
5) Don't start any sentence with "do you remember when..." because they don't.

So he left and Danielle and I stayed as far away from the drunk ridiculous girls so that everyone was well aware that we were not part of that. The manager guy came back in and came over to me and said that Bryan (the drummer that I knew) was really sick and wouldn't be coming in, but wanted to say hi and that he hopes we enjoyed the concert. All the other band members then came in and we got autographs and stuff. We knew we were missing the first part of Styx's set, but didn't really care.

We went back out to the arena and saw Styx, but honestly I was a little disappointed (and also a little scared because I think I kinda like Tommy Shaw and that's just weird and icky.) But I befriended the drunk guy next to me so that was really fun and entertaining. Concert ended, I was home by 11:15...the end.

Danielle's Visit, Day One

Danielle arrived for her visit today. Though I'm not sure how much of this visit is about seeing me, and how much is about not being around her mom/not working and getting free REO Speedwagon tickets. This is kind of a stressful week for me, so it's good to have a friend here and balance that out for me. (We'll see how it all works out.)

I had an info session this afternoon and expected Danielle to arrive during that, so I told her how to get into my apartment. I arrived home though to find no Danielle. A little later I got an "I'm lost...mapquet/Garmin is telling me to go into a gated community" phone call from her. I think I've previously mentioned my hatred for her Garmin...it continues. Luckily, she wasn't that far away so I was able to talk her back to my apartment. When she arrived I discovered that she had forgotten the two things that I had requested from PA (Gazebo dressing and Reese's Peanut Butter) that I can't find in NC, but I decided to let her in anyway instead of sending her 7 hours back to PA to pick it up.

Then Danielle, Andy and I went to Ichiban where we dined on a platter of sushi (which I'm now regretting not taking a picture of). Danielle revealed some of the dirt she has on me (and she was sober) which is never a good thing...but I'm sure extremely entertaining for anyone that is not me.

The only thing I have yet to figure out is how I'm going to get some work done while she's here....oh well.

My Parents are Weird

Every Sunday I call my parents are around 10:30 or 11 in the morning. This morning I called my parent's house and no one answered, so I called my dad's crackberry. Below is a portion of the conversation that followed:

Me: Where are you guys?
Dad: In the car
Me: Where you going?
Dad: No where
Me: So you're just sitting in the car not going anywhere?
Dad: We sitting in the car in the garage making out.

Gross.

My Speech of Conviction

The final speech due for my communications course was a "speech of conviction." It was "our chance to share the passion we feel about a controversial topic." I must be the least convicted person I know because I'm am generally neutral on any controversial topic. After muling it over for a while, I was inspired by the show Whale Wars and decided my topic would be on whaling. My professor surprisingly loved the idea.

Around school we would discuss how preparing for the speech was going and when asked what my topic was, I would say "whaling." To which nearly every time someone would respond (either seriously or jokingly) "oh, are you for whaling?" Yes, I am for whaling, you jackass. Whales just take up too much space in the ocean and whale meat is delish. I think I'm going to go club some seals now for sport.

I did my speech taking the anti-Japanese whaling position (since that's mostly where the problem is). I think it went pretty well (I get my grade tomorrow). That evening I received an e-mail from my friend Andy that said "I think the Japanese have got a “giant creatures” phobia after the whole Godzilla thing, and now they’re therapeutically taking it out on the cetaceans." I thought this was hysterical.

So if you ever want to hear about why Japanese whaling is wrong and stupid, lemme know. Anyway I'm just glad that pointless class is over, but now I actually have to do real work. ::sigh::

Someone Talk Me Out of It

Dear God, I'm contemplating doing the 3-day again next year. Am I losing my mind? Probably. I feel this is somehow like childbirth (or so I hear) like after a few years or so you think about how magical and beautiful it was and forget how much it sucked while you were doing it and are like "I think I want to do that again." The other thing is I had PERFECT weather for my first 3-day experience and I know that I won't get lucky twice in a row.

So Good and Yet So Bad

At Wal-mart the other day, I discovered Molli Coolz Shakers. The concept is basically add milk, shake and voila instand milkshake...and who doesn't love milkshakes. So I thought to myself, can it really be this simple? Could this possible work? YES! Oh my gosh! It is FABULOUS! I wish I had bought like 7 of them...but then I realized how bad it would be to have milkshakes at my grasp 24-7...uh-oh

This Better Be A Sitcom

Well, I'm tired and pissed out so it must be time to blog. I swear that sometimes my life has to be a sitcom because things like this just don't happen in real life. So today I called my esthetician to make and appointment to get my eye brows done. She asked if i would mind if she called back in a little bit. I said no and gave her my home number (it's local). I waited and waited and no call so I called back. They said they tried to call me but it was a wrong number...weird...i didn't really think anything of it other than they copied the number down wrong. After a while I started thinking about other people I had given that number to and hadn't heard from. I decided to call "my" number myself and was shocked when a man who was obviously not me and not in my apartment answered. I verified the number and hung up. I pulled out the information the phone people had given me and verified the number they had given me. I also realized that when I got my new cell i called "my" home number as my test call and got my answering machine. I call Time Warner (who sucks apparently) and am like...what the hell? I had a phone number and now I don't. Well, they had no f***ing clue what happened as the number they gave me isn't even their number to give out and the "owner" has had it since 2000. WTF? I asked if there was anything they could do about it...uh...give you your actual number....thanks, you shit heads. So now I'm freaking out because "my" phone number is everywhere...including a bunch of job applications and Disney as of this afternoon....AHHHHHHH

North Carolina's New Law

As of October 1st, it is officially illegal to throw away plastic bottles (aka not recycle) in North Carolina. I'm all for recycling, but I'm not sure making a law is really going to do anything. Most of the articles I've seen on this issue basically say it's a law, but we're not really going to enforce it...huh? What's the point of having a law if you're not going to enforce it? Well, theoretically waste disposal companies can refuse your trash if it has illegal plastic bottles in it. Really? Do we really think garbage men are going to look in a trash can, open the trash bag in the can, see a plastic bottle and then leave it at the curb? I think not. I really can't decide how I feel about this new law because recycling is good...obviously, but is it me or does this just seem like we're living in a land of make believe and passing laws just because we can?

What Did She Just Say?

One of the funniest moments in my recent memory happened today in my career management course. (Of course, this is only really probably funny if you have the maturity of a 12 year old and think poop is a funny word...like i do.)

Our professor was talking about all the things that are due in the upcoming weeks and said "I know from your Myers Brigg that there are a lot of "p" personalities in here, so that means you're going to want to put that off till the last minute, but try to reign in your p-ness." Which of course is the same as "reign in your penis." I was spacing out (like I do a lot) and all of the sudden heard "reign in your penis." It was like when you catch a conversation at the wrong point and are like, what just happened? Everyone tried not to laugh but it was no use and worst of all our professor had no idea what people were laughing about. The guy beside me hadn't heard what she said at all and I couldn't repeat it without laughing hysterically. It was both an awkward moment and the funniest thing I have heard in class so far.

I Swear I Have a Life

It seems like lately all I've been doing is stuff for school (class, meeting, study, repeat), so I've decided that this weekend I'm going to make a concentrated effort to participate in some out of class activities. (Maybe not the best weekend to launch this plan since I have an accounting exam on Monday...it's open book/open note though).

Yesterday I had signed up to help the youth group at my church sell pumpkins. We are "the pumpkin church" as seen in the picture. It was fine though a little windy and the girl I was assigned to work with wasn't very talkative. We also ran out of 1's within about 20 minutes of starting our 2 hour shift, but we called and got more, so it was ok.

Then after that I went to the B-school happy hour, which was fun. It was a little crowded and loud, so you could hardly hear people talking to you, but I'm not going to argue with free beer.

After studying this morning, I'm planning on going to the B-school tailgate and possibly the Wake/Maryland game...if I can convince someone to go with me. A lot of people are planning on going to the tailgate and then leaving, but we'll see.

Letters From Prison

Let's just get right to it. Shall we?

"Hey, what's up? (still not in prison, you?) My b-day is approaching very fast. I was hoping I'd be home before then, but I guess I'm not gonna make it. Oh well, I'm gonna do everything in my power to never spend another b-day behind bars! (yeah, it's a shame that the police are out to get you or you may have a shot at that).

WOW that's a really good proffession to choose (I told her i wanted to be a professor...no i did not spell it with two f's. I'm not sure where she got that from.) I can say I have a proffessor in the family now. (um...not really now, because you see I'm not actually a professor yet). haha make sure you are a hip one though. (when did the word "hip" make a comeback? am I just really out of it?) haha you'll be so having affairs with your freshman. (wait? what?) haha sike (do people still say sike?) that might be nice for you when your 50 though if your not married. (OMG...I am simultaneously offended and disgusted). So will you be Dr. Sto when you get your Ph.D.? (yes, but that does not mean that you can bring your friends who have OD-ed/been shot over to my apartment and expect me to fix them up. There's different types of doctors.) Where would you want to teach at? (wherever there's a job...and you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition.) A college? (that's typically where professor work) Which one, in what state?

I like your business card it's very businessy. (I guess being businessy is good considering it's a BUSINESS card.) I'd like to look at your scrapbook from ND sometime maybe I can come visit you in NC like next year around my b-day. (no, that's ok...I can bring the scrapbook to you. Really, it's not a problem...plus you probably still won't be able to leave the state.) When I go home we'll still keep in touch thru e-mail and the phone. (and you'll have to check out my really awesome blog...haha)

Your classes arn't (yes, there's no e) that long, I though they'd maybe be like a all day process (see there's this concept called homework that I'm not sure you're fully grasping). the also seem very complex (well, duh), do you ever get bored in class (yes) or are you a very good and attentive student (no)? My stupid radio broke so now i'm gonna have to get a new one and they cost $25 but are worth like $5 (i'm not sending you money if that's what you're going with this.) we were just one lock-down for over a week. (did someone find a shank? shank shank shank shank) I was going crazy. well i'm gonna go. Miss you. (Don't miss you)"

Well, it sounds like she's going to be getting out soon and I'm not sure whether that's good or bad for all of you. Bad because there's no more letters from prison, but good because there will actually be real life accounts. The last time I actually saw her in person she threw all her Christmas presents in the snow in my grandmother's front yard.

Things That Annoy Me (Yes, two in a row)

I went to the post office to get a postcard stamp. As the postal worker was sticking the stamp on the postcard, she began to read it, and then commented on what I had written. Isn't that like illegal or something?

Things That Annoy Me

I haven't really done a "Things that Annoy Me" blog lately (nor a "Psychotic Thought of the Day" blog on that note), but yesterday I had something that definitely was annoyance worthy. I was on my way to Zumba (yes, I've drunk the Zumba kool-aid) and decided to stop off at the community compost bin down the block from me to dump off my compostables. After dumping my stuff, I realized I had composty juices on my hand. As I was driving, I realized I had hand sanitizer in the middle console. I got it out. Flicked open the top and hand sanitizer exploded all over my face (including in my eye)...keep in mind that I am still driving. I stop at a red light and read the warning (with the eye that is not stinging like a mo fo). "In the event of contact with the eyes, flush immediately with water and seek medical advice." Shit! So (while still driving...probably not the smartest move), I flush my eye with water from the water bottle that I was taking to Zumba, do not seek medical attention, and still making to Zumba on time. I guess everything's ok since I woke up this morning and wasn't blind.

Reunion Ridiculousness

I can't sleep because Jimmy Clausen (who according to Danielle looks like a fat Nick Carter...though I would argue Nick Carter is pretty fat) just saved Charlie Weis's fat ass one more time in the closing seconds of the game and my adrenaline is still chugging away. (sidenote: I originally just said Weis's ass and went back and added the word "fat" during editing which I think is a nice change.) I thought rather than waste this time..oh...i don't know...reading a book or something, that I'd blog. Because we all know that the very best blogs can be written at 12:15 AM.

Today I opened my mailbox and found....::drumroll::...an invitation to my 10 year high school reunion. (Oh the humanity!) I thought I'd just comment on the ridiculousness of several part of it. Remember these are only my very favorite excerpts.

1) It was sealed with a gold sticker with hearts on it (like you would use to seal wedding invitations). Really? You couldn't find anything better than this?

2) "$40 at the door. (Price includes heavy horderves, 2 drink tickets & entertainment provided by EVERY DAY HEROES" ---holy crap, $40 bucks. It better be heavy hors d'oeuvres. It's at the Appalachian Brewing Company, so it's not even like it's at a hotel and we're paying a crapload for the room. And "horderves" really looked correct to you? Didn't notice anything bizarre about that spelling? That really speaks volumes about Middletown's Education system, doesn't it?

3) "Please no hats or sneakers." --does this really need to be said? Man, I come from one classy hometown.

4) In giant letters at the bottom "We're Going To Party Like It's 1999." --Thank you Prince, for creating that song so that we could cling to it like a remora to a shark. This song will follow me around FOREVER and to think, I actually used to like that song.

Anyway, I'm still debating whether to go or not. Like there's no one I really want to see that I don't already talk to, but I have been doing pretty awesome since high school, so I kinda want to go rub that in people's faces. Is that wrong?

Do you Know How to Peel a Banana?

Today in between classes someone was eating a banana and someone else informed them that they were peeling it wrong. He referred us to this YouTube clip:


I have multiple favorite parts of this: a) when he says it "blew his mind", b) when he tries to bite the banana open and c) the fact that he has monkey pants on.

Henna Really Isn't As Cool As I Thought

Today at B school was the "International Food Fest." Each "team" (each academic team has 5-6 students in it and you basically do a bunch of stuff together with them) had to prepare a dish from a foreign country. There's a guy names Xavier on my team who is from Belgium originally so we made Carbonade a la Flamande (aka A Flemish Beef Stew). It was basically beef, carrots, onions, bread, dijon mustard and a crap load of dark beer. (That's an official culinary term: "crap load" which is a little smaller than an "ass load") There was a ton of food. Pad Thai, quiches, chicken curry, spanikopita, and a bunch of other stuff that I don't even know the name of. My stomach just took a trip around the world. Some people also had different activities from around the world. A couple of students from India were doing Henna tattooing. I always wanted to get Henna, and when I was walking by there was no line so I sat down. This is my Henna:

Henna is not as cool as I thought it was for three main reasons. 1) It's a lot oranger than I thought it's be. 2) I thought that like they painted it on and you waited like 15 minutes or something and washed it off. No...you have to wait like an hour until it gets dry and just cracks and falls off. Do you know how hard it is not to bump intricate painting on your right arm? Also, do you know how hard it is to take a clear picture of your right arm when you're right handed? 3) It's supposed to stay on for like a week or something, but I just took a shower and it already faded significantly, so we'll see. So, I'm not sure if I'd do it again or not. It didn't totally suck. It just wasn't all that I thought it'd be.

A Letters from Prison Excerpt

I received another letter from the big house (no not Michigan)...though on that note isn't it kinda fitting that "big house" is the name of both Michigan's stadium and prison...hmmm...I digress. Anyway, the whole letter wasn't that interesting, but a few lines really pretty much summed up her whole issue.

"I wish I didn't have to work hard and everything could just be handed to me for the rest of my life but I know that's not the case and I'm gonna have to work extra hard when I came home to do otherwise. I can't be lazy any more I won't get anyway in life!!"

Wow....wow... (yes, she actually did say "anyway in life" not "anywhere in life") Do we think she actually understands the hard work thing? I mean its easy to say when you're sitting in a jail cell with nothing to do but read all day, but then when you actually have to work, it's a whole different ball game.

Like a Band Aid...Right Off!

There are certain things in life that should be done in one quick, painful motion: removing a band aid, giving bad news, taking duct tape off of a hostage's mouth (not that I have any formal training on this...just what I've seen on TV), and body waxing.

After moving one of the most difficult things I've had to do is find a new esthetician to get my eyebrows waxed. I've had some bad experiences. No real eyebrow butchery. Just not really done up to my expectations (if it takes less than 5 minutes...you didn't do a good job). So Friday, I crossed my fingers and went to get my eyebrows waxed. She did a decent job except instead of just forcefully ripping off the strips of wax, she like slowly (and agonizingly) peeled it off. Now I have this dilemma. Do I try someone new and risk having horrible eyebrows for a week or so? Or do I go back and grit my teeth for a few minutes of pain?

And the Maintenance Guy Went Crazy

I had this huge bush out by my front door that was approximately 12 feet in diameter (with a standard deviation of about a foot and a half...sorry quant is seeping into my everyday life . Never read Super Crunchers). It was a big f***ing bush. It hung over the flower bed onto my patio. I came home two days ago and found this.

Apparently the apartment maintenance guy went completely ape shit on it.

The Care Package

I found one other thing that differs between undergrad and grad school. Care packages. When I was at ND, my mom sent great care packages. They had things like food and hot chocolate and stuffed animals and stickers and other fun things in it. I got a huge box on my doorstep with my mom's handwriting on the front. I was super psyched. I opened it up and inside was a suit, a photo album and coupons...no note, no card, no explanation what so ever. She's so weird.

It's Different

So I decided after a week and a half of classes that I would blog about some of the differences between my undergrad and B-school experiences. Now granted these are only my very narrow assessments from four years at Notre Dame and a week and a half at Wake Forest, but I'm pretty sure they're relatively accurate and will carry over to others.

1) Dress code: Wake has a business casual dress code for all its MBA students. Which means I have to like iron stuff and do laundry on a regular basis. Gone are the days of wearing pajamas, sweats or wind pants to class (my freshman year roommate, Maryn wouldn't know what to do with herself).

2) Beer: There is probably still as much beer around as there was when I was in undergrad it's just better quality. No more Natty Lite. Yuengling, Coors, Sam Adams seem to be staples.

3) Stealing: Stealing seems to be more frowned upon. Back at ND we were really into stealing things (from campus of course...sticking it to the man...we paid for it right). At one time or another we stole an entire dining hall set including tray, sugar dispenser and salt and pepper shakers. My parents also still have a section 13 sign from the JACC. (It's in their basement...check it out if you're ever over). We also found it humorous when someone stole the giant inflatable gorilla from Farley and the picture of Edward J. ("Jomama") Debartolo from Debartolo hall. In grad school...I haven't really tested this out...but I'm thinking that if I stole the giant Deacon from the student lounge that I'd kinda be in trouble.

4) The ratio: I'm not sure what the ratio exactly was at ND, but I'm thinking it was about 50/50. My first year MBA class has 68 students in it and 12 of them are girls...not that I'm complaining. (I get to talk about football a lot).

5) The whole married/kids thing. I have friends that are married and have kids, but it's still weird to me when someone has to leave the team meeting because they have to take their kid to the dentist...I'm just not used to the family thing in a school setting.

6) Going to class. You have to go to class. If you miss, not only do you have to e-mail the professor, but you have to e-mail the MBA relations person...weird. I can't tell you the number of times I didn't go to Genetics at ND.

7) Calling professors by their first name. It's just awkward calling them Jon or Sherry or whatever.

Well, I guess that's all for now. I think I had something else to write, but it's gone now...maybe later.

Letters from Prison: Bizness

Let's just get right into it.

"So I was wondering what are you going to do with your master's degree in bizness after you get it? (well, I'm going to go into brand management for a CPG company, but there isn't enough stationary in the world for me to explain how that relates to "bizness" for you, so let's just say I want to help companies put things in stores.) What is your goal? (um...to make money? and get really good free products.) Do you want to own and run your own bizness? (hell no!) If so, what? (a giant candy store...like FAO Schwartz, but with candy) Can I work there if you do? (um...let me think about this for a second...no) It will be hard for me to get a good job now with my record!! :-( (life's a bitch...ain't it?) I'll most likely stuck in fast food joints inless (yes, it says inless) someone hooks me up (no one in their right mind would hook you up) or I own my own bizness (oh God...here we go) which that is the long term goal for me! (you do know that being a drug dealer doesn't count as "owning your own bizness").

No my mom didn't get out. (in the last letter she had said her mom was supposed to get out...in case you missed this part of the story her mom is in the same jail that she's in.) Shes still here. she has to go back to court again. who knows where my mom will work when she does get out (2nd and walnut?) No I don't think I'm gonna go upstate (where exactly is upstate in Pennsylvania?) I'm getting a paid lawyer now (I don't even want to know who is paying for this, but smart money is on my aunt) so I don't have to cause they are really trying to sock it to me (oh sure...the legal system is just out to get you...blah blah blah) and being really unfair (because they actually put you in jail? how terrible!) I won't feel safe inless I have a paid lawyer (and I won't feel safe inless you're in jail). Well I guess Im gonna go. Talk 2 you again soon. (we can hope)"

How to Sell Gum At School?

I can't believe I forgot to post this. I was cleaning out my e-mail and came across this little nugget that Kate had sent me (a long long time ago) and since today was my first day of class I thought it would be apropos to post. Did you know that you can find out how to do ANYTHING on wikihow? It's great. If you're bored at work, I highly suggest checking it out. Some of them even have ridiculous videos to go with them. But this is one of my favorites "How to Sell Gum At School." My comments in parenthesis as usual.

"Steps
To get started, purchase several packs of any type of gum that many people seem to like. (I like Big Red and also Teaberry...but it's really hard to find Teaberry and not many people like it. My dad chews 5 and thinks he's really cool because of it.)
Choose the brand you are going to sell and have 3 different flavors of that brand. (I'm not really sure why you can only have one brand, but whatever)
Go around keeping a low profile asking people if they want any gum. The best time is at lunch because that's when most people have their money out. (hey..uh..you wanna buy some gum? no, that's not sketchy at all...and by "gum" I mean weed.)
Charge them 20 cents a piece. So it would be 5 pieces for a dollar which they will usually buy instead of just 1 piece. (20 cents a piece...what a rip off! School kids are so stupid)
That's basically it but be sure to read the warnings and tips! (yes, gotta love warnings and tips)
Also be confident... (I will be confident in my gum selling abilities).

Tips (There are hella lot of tips)
After you get caught the first time (apparently you're not a very good gum seller if you get caught), you can still continue selling but exercise more caution. Keep everything in a secret second locker. (how exactly does one get a 'secret second locker.'...is that somewhere on wikihow?) Go around asking people for gum to buy. If they say yes, disappear and go without them to get out whatever they wanted to buy. Bring it to them. Do not let them see you there or they could use that information to snitch or blackmail you later. (OMG, this is the sketchiest thing ever! And what kinda psycho is blackmailing you because you're selling gum).
Start out buying 3 packs but as your business gets better buy more. (don't want to have to much inventory. It could really wreck your cash flow...though I would totally go to Sam's Club and get the like gross of gum).
Never listen to people who say they will pay you back the next day, or give out "samples"; people will take you less seriously and try to take advantage if they find out. (No shit. It's middle school ...or maybe high school...either way, these are stupid kids).
Never eat your merchandise, no matter how much you crave a stick of gum. You can bunch a few packs together and take a good whiff, but that’s it. (so now you are huffing gum? I would think you would want to chew it and have others see you and wish they had a piece a gum. Just thought it would be a good marketing scheme to create demand.)
Most of your profit will be in quarters. Roll them up using quarter rolls and take them to the bank. You can deposit them in your account, (If you don't have a bank account, now would be a good time to open one.) or cash 'em up. Avoid using "Coinstar" type machines. They may be easier to use, but they will take some of your profit as a transaction fee. (Though make sure you split up the deposits or the bank teller may become suspicious and blackmail you..ha)
Keep a record of your overall profit. (this is actually a good idea...you could create a whole income statement...I had accounting today...sorry)
You may eventually become well-known and approached by customers rather than you approaching them. This is a good thing. (unless of course it's an undercover agent for the gum police).
A 25 cent pack of gum suddenly becomes worth a million dollars when people are listening to that boring lecture in class. (wait...I thought we were doing 20 cents? when did inflation suddenly kick in mid wikihow?)
Be nice and respectful to any potential customers. (True)
Don't bring large dollar bills to school. You may think that's a clever idea so that you can sell to people who only have 20s, but it can get lost or stolen. (or people could think you are dealing drugs)
Wear clothes with many pockets but try not to put the gum in your pants because it can get smushed and look like bad quality gum. (hahahahahaha)
Don't over approach people. Remember your trying to keep a low profile! (stay on the dl)
Don't over PRICE your gum. 25 cents is the most to charge for a piece. (I would think you would have to gauge your market to see what price the market can bear...i would bet that there are school's where the going price for gum in higher than others)
25 cents might be not a lot more than 20 but it sounds like it is the way you say it even if it's not. (huh?)

Warnings (There's more?)
To be sneaky, In class, walk around desk-to-desk with gum in your pockets offering some gum. (this is getting more ridiculous as it got on...as all good blog subjects do)
Be wary of snitches, they usually come in the form of a nice do-gooder boy, so be careful. If people then ask what flavors you have, they will most likely be customers (what about nice do-gooder girls? don't they snitch? I think this wikihow is sexist!)
Be wary selling individually wrapped sticks. Those are not sealed, and you have no way of proving to people that you didn’t do anything to the gum. (um..unless you're a really sketchy kid then you shouldn't have to prove that you didn't tamper with it...oh wait...you're sneaking around selling gum which automatically makes you sketchy)
Don't get caught in the act! (No shit!)
if a kid in your class is related to a person of the staff, don't sell it to them, they might rat you out. you don't want that! (Double no shit)
Another idea of how to sneak gum in class is pass a note around asking people if they want pass only to kids you know won't rat you out,everyone knows how to not get caught with a note right, so its easy. Slide the gum wrapped in a sliver of paper to your customers Ask for the money first. (Is it just me or if you are this paranoid about getting caught, maybe you aren't the type of person that should be selling gum around school.)
If you really need a spot to put the gum, try your pencil case. (we're concerned about smashed gum, but gum with graphite all over it is ok...and now I'm also wondering what grade we're talking about here, because I didn't have a pencil case past elementary school.)"

Well, that was fun wasn't it?

JSto, Voodoo High Priestess

First day of B School Classes is tomorrow, but I actually read ahead (because I'm a brown noser) and have time to blog. I really thought I'd have more to blog about with orientation, but I don't. I guess the Girl Scouts has numbed me to every day normal stupidity. The one thing they really are pushing is all these career and personality tests to make sure that you end up in the right job. I recently got my Myers-Briggs report and found it moderately ridiculous, so I'm going to blog about it. It will probably be funnier for those that know me, but hopefully I can make enough mocking remarks that it will be a least mildly entertaining for all.

"INFJ (This stands for introversion, intuition, feeling and judging...i only got a 1 on introversion, so i'm not that introverted...I mean, obviously): Creative Observer and Developer (I get the creative developer, but what does a creative observer do? Do I watch plays or what?)

It is estimated that only 1% of the adult population fall into this category. (Because 1% of the population is AWESOME!) These unique types are interested in people and in better life for others. (Well, some others at least...not all others). They may express through their poetry or other forms of writing, the arts, drama or music (or food art).

The INFJ's strength lies in their gentitlity, caring and interpersonal sensitivity. (BAHAHAHAHA) They are often viewed to be warm, understanding and almost mystical in their ability to understand the feelings of others. (People say I'm mystical all the time).

They do not aspire to a lot of attention and friends (Says who?) They have an uncanny ability to predict what others will do in a given situation, often before the other may decide for him or herself. These attributes may lead the INFJ and others to view this talent as beyond logic--maybe even ESP (woooooo...On a sidenote: I had a friend in middle school that swore that ESP stood for Extra Special Powers)

They do not usually do well with highly repetitive, routine work where they are not given the opportunity to think for themselves. (in fact, one might even say it makes them want to gouge their eyes out with a rusty ice pick). They are the inventors rather than the implementers. (So creative, but lazy). Strong INFJ's are almost viewed as magical with their ability to intuit. (Seriously, when has anyone thought that I was mystical or magical?)

The INFJ may find personal stress management techniques such as meditation or yoga (now we're talking) to be especially helpful in gaining perspective and improved feeling of health). The INFJ are highly imaginative and have rich inner lives--they tend to be idealists. (Now comes my favorite part)

Careers INFJs tend to choose most include: Religious work/clergy (as in voodoo high priestess), education (and work with kids ALL day?), writing (I'm not disturbed enough), medicine (eww...blood), social science, research (how does this relate to people at all) and social work.

Careers INFJs tend to choose least include: Police (phew), corrections (it would be a conflict of interest anyway), probation (double phew), sales agents (someone please tell my father that I DONT want to go into sales), mechanical work, bank management and supervision in factory-type work."

Does Everyone Know What a Lint Trap Is?

Because apparently the former tenant of my apartment did not.

YEAH, I got my new laptop, so that means I can post more regularly (provided I actually have time) and can add pictures.

So I did laundry (because well, that's what you do when you live on your own) and not only did I find that the former tenant had left a sock in the dryer, but also a couple pounds of lint.

I felt like I should spin it into yarn and knit something out of it. After pulling out all that lint, underneath the trap was still all fuzzy looking.

I had to take a vacuum to it. Isn't that so gross? Anyway, I have lots to tell you about orientation...woohoo!! PS I kinda want to share my blog with some of my new friends, but I'm scared that some of the thoughts in my blog make me a bad person...thoughts? Is it too early to show them the "true" JSto?

Letters from Prison: The Shank

Before I get started, I just want to mention how much I love using the word shank. Shank Shank Shank Shank and may start referring to every sort of knife type implement as a shank. "Can you pass me that shank so I can butter my bread?"

"Hey how are you adjusting to your new apt and your new town? (just peachy thanks for asking) Did you go explore it yet? (if by explore you mean get lost in random parts of town...then yes) Is there any good places around that you might like to go visit? (that I can hide out in when I escape) Well, I just watched these two girls fight (and here I was worried this letter was going to be dull). It was pretty funny cept for the fact one girl was 20ish and the other was 40ish (are we sure that these "two girls" weren't you and your mom?) and they said that the 20ish beat her up and I said I wonder why? (I really don't understand this part here at all) I bet she wouldn't of beat anyone up her age (feisty, aren't we?) then the 40ish was the one who started it then tried to cope out (I think you mean cop out, dear) when they were takin em to the hole. It was a stupid fight, just entertainment for 2 minutes (yep, I know how it is.) Nothing like that happens on the females side cept once in a blue moon. Um they put us on lockdowns (background info: previously she had said they were on lockdown, so I asked what they get put on lockdown for because I knew it would be golden material to work with) when people fight, they find shanks (shank shank shank shank...it's fun to type too), drugs, a medical emergency (like if someone got shanked?) or electric malfunction...or understaffed! The reason we were on lockdown for a week was cause we were yelling to guys in the dayroom (sounds like fun!) and we were so loud the lt's heard us (don't you just hate when that happens). Then after we got off they put us right back on cause 2 guys were fighting and they found a shank. are you letting your hair grow back? (honestly, I did not cut out anything here...her next sentence after shank was are you letting your hair grow back?) It's always good to laugh (I don't know where this came from, possibly something I said in my last letter, but I don't remember). I guess laughter heals the heart. I'm pretty funny myself (obviously) but I still like to be around funny people. When I was a pothead (are you kidding me? shank and pothead in the same letter? This is GOLD!) it was a funny fest all the time. "stoners" are very funny. (I can't make this up people!) I wrote a poem and sent it to a contest and it made it to the semi-finals and is gonna be published. (my opinion of poetry has just hit the shits!) I'm happy about that! Did you go to John Fred's concert? (yes, I did) Was he opening for Kid Rock? (yes, he was) If he his that whats up? (huh? I think someone's been in the hole a little too long!) well, i'm gonna go. i'll talk 2 you soon!"

Wow...brilliant.

Why Best Buy Sucks and John Fred Rocks

Ok, so we're onto Friday which was the day I officially had to be out of my apartment. I dropped off my key at the office without much problem. Then I decided to call Best Buy to check on my laptop since it was supposed to be done in "5-7 days" and it was now 8. My computer had not had anything done to it yet and was still 10th in line. I informed Best Buy that I would be picking up my laptop and taking it to North Carolina with me, so that's what I did. UGH!

That afternoon I went shopping with Amanda 1 at the Hershey Outlets and bought some yoga pants and a poncho because...that evening was the big concert at Hershey and oh yeah, it was raining ALL DAY.

Danielle were going to the Lynyrd Skynyrd (you have to scream Skynyrd and raise a fist/hand of rock when you read this) and Kid Rock concert which Black Stone Cherry was opening for and John Fred (my friend who's BSC's drummer) had gotten us tickets. The concert was supposed to start at 6, so around 4:30 we first went to the ticket office to see if they had our tickets. Unfortunately they only had Kid Rock's guest list which really ticked off one of the other guys in line who "Just had lunch with Lynyrd Skynyrd" and obviously likes to name drop. Danielle then bitched for about an hour and 15 minutes about how she wanted her tickets. Luckily the weather had cleared so we weren't standing in the rain. We finally got our tickets just before the doors opened. We were in the "golden circle", which for those of you who never attended a concert at Hershey Stadium is the first fifteen rows on the floor. You have to go through two things of ushers to get to them. We were row 12 in the center (and had better seats than the angry Lynyrd Skynyrd guy). They were really really good seats and the bands actually looked like actually regular sized people instead of the little tiny people we usually see from our seats.

BSC went on first and was really good. We went back by the merchandise table and saw John Fred for the band's meet and greet. He was really grateful that we had come and kept saying "how were your seats? were they good?" Uh..you gave us $90 seats for free...they could've been anywhere and as long as they were free would've been good. After that, things started to get crazy. People were ridiculous drunk and there was also some pot smoking going on, but not as much as I would've thought. This guy in front of us reached into a girl's pants and ripped off her thong in three pieces and proceeded to throw it around the crowd. (Honestly, my description can not do this incident justice). The guy left for some reason and the girl turns around and says "he's not even my boyfriend." Uh...ok? Then one of the vendors (who is like 17 or something, but looks 10) came up to Danielle and the guy beside her thought he was her kid...too funny! Concert ended and we managed to making it home while avoiding drunk people laying in the parking lot, weaving in and out of traffic and throwing up in front yards on Chocolate Avenue...All in all a good night!

Stay tuned for Letter from Prison: Shanks.

Packing in the Inferno

Now that I'm officially unpacked in my new place, I guess that means it's time to blog about packing (I hate not having a personal computer). The air conditioning in my old apartment would break about every 3 days or so and I'd call them and they would come "fix" it and it would be ok for 3 more days. They said it was leaking freon. Well, the day before the packers were coming, the maintenance guy came to look at the unit in my apartment (rather than just the one outside) because outside wasn't leaking fast enough that it should run out that quickly. So he came in, turned off the AC unit so that he could "hear the leak" unscrewed and some things said it was leaking freon into my apartment (that can't be good) and he'd have to see if they had the part and would be "right back". He left the unit all ripped apart, the light in the closet on and all his tools on the floor. He never came back. I ran into him out in the parking lot and asked him what the deal was, could I turn my AC back on or what. He told me he needed to order a part and would be back first thing the next morning. That was two days before I moved and I never saw him again.

That night it was scorching hot in my apartment. The thermostat said 87, and I can only open my sliding door on the balcony which screams "please come in and rob me in the middle of the night." I wasn't really sure if it was any cooler outside anyway, so I closed it when I went to bed. I put all my sheets and my pajamas in the freezer and managed to get cool enough to fall asleep and then woke up at 6am in a sweat.

The packers arrived and kinda annoyed me. I'm not really sure why. They just weren't that friendly. I apologized for it being so hot and offered them water and stuff, but always kept imagining that they were talking about my stuff when they were on breaks. "dude, what is with all the Alice in Wonderland shit?" "Did you see how fat that chick used to be?" Anyway, I just sat there really not knowing what to do because a) I'm not helping because I'm paying you and b) I'm not leaving because its my stuff. It only took them about three hours (and after unpacking I can see why...they did a pretty shitty job).

That night I spent at my gramma's air conditioned house (since everything I had was packed...except for random items like a plastic thing of cookie cutters which I'm not sure if the packers missed or what). However, I was slightly panicked because I didn't have my cell charger or my glasses and was slightly concerned they had been accidentally packed. Also, my gramma wasn't sure if her alarm worked or not and since my cell phone had died and my charger was missing didn't have a back up plan. I woke up at 5 am and decided to just go back to my apartment and nap on the couch so that I knew I would be up when the movers came.

The movers came and they were friendlier than the packers and it took them only 2 hours to load everything up (which allowed me time to meet Carmen and Kate for lunch). I had been given a seven day window in which my stuff could arrive in Winston-Salem, but was told to ask the truck driver as he would have a better idea. Here's that conversation:

Me: Do you know what day you'll be delivering my stuff to Winston-Salem?
Mover: Sunday
Me: This Sunday?
Mover: yeah, is there a problem with that?
Me: Well, they gave me the dates of the 3rd through the 9th and that's the 2nd.
Mover: Oh, I guess we'll be there Monday then.

Apparently a seven day span was not enough. Anyway, after they left, I cleaned my apartment (in the ungodly heat) and left to spend another night at my grandma's.

Stay tuned for the next post: Why Best Buy sucks and John Fred rocks.

Peace Out, Girl Scouts

I swore to myself that during my computer time today, I would get at least one meaningful blog post done. Being without a computer has really put me behind and material is coming in fast and furious. (I got a letter from prison yesterday and it uses the word "shank" so you know it has to be good.)

One final word about vacation (holy crap that was over a month ago). We had a sandcastle building contest for all the kids. It was like way too serious of a competition as teams were formed pretty much by random (except that a younger kid was always with an older kid) and there were stacks of tools that were given to each team so that everyone pretty much had the same stuff to work with. The time limit was an hour and a half. My mom and I were judges since we were the only ones (other than my dad who really didn't care what was going on) that didn't have children/grandchildren in the competition. My mom took it way too seriously and was taking notes and crap like that. In the end, everyone got a prize for bogus categories ("best use of materials" ), but then there was one grand prize ($10...woah..big time).

Now onto me quitting and leaving the Girl Scouts which can basically be defined as AWKWARD! My direct supervisor (Susan) was on vacation the week when I came back, so I knew I had to hand in my 2 weeks notice to our COO. So that morning, I basically stalked her until she was available. After walking by her office for the fourth time, I found her in there, door open but with someone else. I just stuck my head in and said "I need to talk to you then when you have a second." So about a half hour later she came to my office, I told her I was leaving, she was happy, the End. No big drama. BUT in typical Girl Scout fashion no one says anything to anyone else. I go tell the receptionist because I know she will tell EVERYONE. I also tell my "team" (I use that word in the loosest sense possible) and e-mail all my volunteers because that's who I really care about.

Flash forward a week when Susan is back from vacation. I accidentally overslept for the first time in three years which made me angry because it looked like I was purposely slacking off (I wasn't). She's sitting in her office. I creep by and put my stuff in my office, so I can start this awkward conversation without things in my hands. PS I had a "goal planning" meeting scheduled with her at 10, so knew I had to clear this up first thing.

Me: Hey, so I guess Anne told you the big news.
Susan: No, what?
Me: I handed in my two weeks notice last week. Friday is my last day.
Susan: (the color draining from her face) Oh

My one on one meeting that had been scheduled with her was just as ridiculous. I basically told her what I planned to get done and that was that. I expected her to add some things that she wanted me to finish up or whatever before I left, but she didn't.

Then I had a secret informant who I had told to inform me if they were planning any sort of party or whatever, so that I could be prepared to be sufficiently surprised. (not that I ended up needing an informant). She told me they had sent out an invitation that they were going to be having a "light and healthy" potluck lunch for me on Friday at 1:30, which is both a stupid time and a stupid description. I want cake, Damn it! Another coworker of mine (who was not my original informant) forwarded me the e-mail and commented on the stupidity of its nature.

Friday came. Susan decided to take me out to brunch, which solved my "I normally eat at noon, but if I don't eat, it looks like I know about the surprise dilemma." I expected this to be an information gathering session about how things are at the office and intended to inform her about how worthless one of my coworkers was, but alas it was merely Susan's final attend to be friendly with one of the "cool kids" at the office and utterly weird and awkward.

Friday around noon I had a phone call from TT telling me she "couldn't make it to the afternoon party, but wanted to wish me well." Remember it's a surprise. Then around 1:15 a coworker came to scavenge my office and said she'd "see me in a few." Then at 1:30 all workers vacated their cubicles (except for unknowing me of course) and I got a call asking me to "come to the kitchen. We're cleaning out the refrigerator and there's something that has a J on it that might be yours." Yeah, right. SURPRISE. There was lots of light and healthy food and a cake! They also gave me a Girl Scout necklace. because "it's not like she hates Girl Scouts."

Then that evening the real going away bash happened when Carmen and Kate and I went to the Melting Pot and ate Fondue until we were going to explode. I took pictures of my Yin Yang-tini, but can't find the USB port on this computer, so sorry, no pictures for you.