New York: Part 2

Well, I did some laundry, made a grocery list and figured I'd finish out this blog before I lost momentum. Saturday, Marcia and I woke up lazily and I took an absolutely life changing shower in Marcia's fantastic shower. We go to get coffee and a wonderful apple galette from a very eco-friendly place called Cafe O. The weather is absolutely wonderful. Perfect for picking up avocados at the Brooklyn Flea which is great because that's exactly what we need to do. Marcia is defending her title as people's choice for best guacamole at Guactacular on Sunday.

We take the subway to the Brooklyn Flea and after looking around for a while, start the absolute glutfest which we call lunch. We share everything because then we get to try more things. We start off with this:

A fantastic Maine Lobster Roll from Red Hook Lobster Pound. We followed that up with this:

A pork Huarache. And then this:

Grilled corn with cheese, chili powder, and butter. We washed it all down with some yummy limeade. My tummy was sufficiently full. Marcia then fell in love with a Herman Miller chair, so after searching for an ATM (cash only at a Flea market of course), buying the chair, and picking up the Guactacular avocados, we took a car back to Manhattan. There was some debate about whether or not we could take it on the subway, but decided not.

We took Maddie to the dog park in Washington Park. She was still chill as a lot of the other dogs ran around and were totally spastic. It was a beautiful day and fun just watching all the dogs. We dropped Maddie back at the apartment and went for some manis and pedis. I got my toes done in OPI "Purple with Purpose."

Yes, those are my little troll toes. While bright, they were completely shown up by Marcia's fingernails.

Neon is apparently really in now. I then caught a cab to LaGuardia and left my wonderful trip to New York behind me.

My Trip to NYC

I'm spending a lazy Sunday recovering from my two day trip to New York City. This post is going to be chock full of pictures and links. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to cover my trip in one complete post or if it will be split across two. I'm just going to play it by ear.

My final presentation for my Advanced Branding class was in New York City. Wake Forest was paying for the flight and so I figured, why not spend an extra day to hang with Marcia, my amazing roommate from Notre Dame who just happens to live in downtown Manhattan.

First of all I must say that I was not in the best shape when I boarded my plane in Greensboro at 7am as the night before was the official End of the Year party where like any good Cinco de Mayo party there were plenty of margaritas and tequila shots (and a bounce house with a climbing wall and a slide!!!). I suffered through my presentation and at around 2pm was finally set free to meet up with Marcia (well, there was some slight mix up and I apparently bailed on part of an office tour and may or may not look like a jackass...oh well...school's over).

I hailed a cab (cause I got cab hailing skillz) to Wogie's where Marcia was having lunch with some of her friends that were in from Toledo. I had a beer, drooled, cursed myself for eating so much pizza in my class presentation and watched them devour what appeared to be amazing cheese steaks. Then we went to BLT Burger, and Marcia ordered this:


That's a "Grandma's Treat" which is a caramel milkshake with Maker's Mark in it. I had a "Night Rider" which was a chocolate milkshake with Kahlua and Oreos in it. YUM. I was fading fast and so we went back to Marcia's apartment. Marcia made an amazing goat cheese spread with caramelized onions (cause that's what she does...see?). I watched Downtown Abbey and had her adorable dog, Maddie, lounge on me.
Maddie is the most chill and lovable dog EVER. We then caught the subway and took it to what was supposed to be a rooftop party Uptown. It was really windy and chilly on the roof, so the party stayed down in an apartment. After some drinking, eating, possibly drunk yoga, it either was warmer up on the roof (a little surprising since the sun had gone down) or we just didn't care as much (probably more likely).

Good first day in NYC. I'm going to pause here and will blog the rest probably later today.

MBA with a Concentration in Alcoholism

Further proof that I may have a slight drinking problem (don't fret, my dear friends, it's really not as serious as I make it sound.) Today was my last day of legit MBA classes. I say legit because I have a skit for Advanced HR management tomorrow which is not legit because a) it's for an HR class and b) it's a FREAKIN SKIT! Here's a timeline of my day:

11am--Business Analytics exam (which was pretty traumatic)
12pm--Drinking in the parking lot
12:30pm--Drinking in my MPA class (SN: During this class, this girl Katy ate 8 Krispy Kreme donuts and then promptly went to the bathroom to throw up.)
1:15pm-- Continue drinking in the parking lot
1:30pm--Drinking on the patio of the on campus restaurant
3:30pm--Drinking in my group meeting for HR (It's about a skit, ok? don't judge.)
5pm--Andy texts me to see when I'm ready to go to dinner. I reply that i'm sobering up at school so that I can drive home. He asks if I just want picked up at school. Of course I do.
5:15pm--I hop in Andy's car, and he says "My God, woman, I can smell it on you." Then after a few minutes says "you smell fruity, what were you drinking?" uh...sangria...holy crap I must've been doing some drinking.

I Have No Self Control

Lately I've had a history of convincing myself that I will not get too drunk and will leave at a reasonable hour from school functions only to get significantly shit faced and have Kathleen drive me to my car the next morning. This is not normally a problem; however, the end of the year party is Thursday evening and I have a 7am flight Friday to New York city for my Advanced Branding class (and to see Marcia). So while I would like to drive and be able to leave at a reasonable hour, I would be screwed if I have to leave my car downtown. I asked Kathleen how I got to such a point that I can no longer trust myself not to be a total drunk. Her response via e-mail:

"Business school happened to you. In addition to our degree we will all be graduating with a slight case of alcholism! Just sleep it off on the plane! I mean it's the end of the year party, you can't not be a shitshow, that would be wrong!"

This is in line with the other argument that I often get from people when I try to cut myself off which is: "stop being selfish!" When did drunken ridiculousness become some sort of civic duty?

I'm Not a Computer Person

I've had many somewhat embarrassing interactions with Wake Forest's IT department because I have no idea what is going on with computers. Compared to my mom, I'm a genius, but honestly, I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I walked into the IT guy's office with a tiny spring in my hand, held it out to show him and said "this fell out of my computer. is that an issue?" Apparently it's not a big issue, but should get fixed.

"Why Men Are NEVER Depressed"

I got this e-mail from Meredith today and asked her if I could mock it for being ridiculous. She said of course. It's a pretty long e-mail, so I'm editing out some of the more serious, thought provoking points. While I enjoy a good theoretical debate on the wage gap or a female president or the miracles of childbirth, this blog is not the place for it. Here we go. My comments are in parenthesis.

• "Your last name stays put (depends on your last name...trust me. I'm looking forward to ditching this name)


• You can wear NO shirt at the water park. (Who says I can't?)


• You don't have to think of which way to turn a nut or bolt. (I'm a girl, not an idiot.)


• Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100 (ok, I'll give you that one)


• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. (really? Gotta say, if boy's got some nice pecs, I'm looking.)


• One mood all the time. (dude, I know some moody ass boys)


• You know stuff about tanks. (why is this good? Andy did his informational speech on tanks, so I learned some stuff, and I have to say I don't feel like my life has been enriched having known that information.)


• You never have to drive to another gas station because the restroom is just too icky. (In the words of Meredith: "is wanting a clean bathroom such a bad thing? sorry that I don't want to catch some disease that the CDC hasn't identified yet.)


• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. (wow...wow...this is some commentary about the bitchiness of women.)


• You can open your own jars. (I can open my own jars...thank you very much. I go to body pump.)


• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three pack. (pretty sure I could get underwear in a three pack...I just don't)


• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. (Why would anyone want this? I would be so unhappy if I only needed three pairs of shoes.)


• You can play with toys all your life. (um...I colored yesterday...this implies that needs to stop at some point?)


• You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. (but i like getting my nails done...and having them be pretty colors...and coordinating them with my outfit)


• You have freedom of choice in growing a mustache. (Darling, that's what waxing is for.)
  

No wonder men are happier than women. (REALLY? REALLY?...Wanna argue that point?)"

There were more than that that I could probably comment on, but I gotta get to bells, so that will be it.

My Easter Experience

Having only Friday off and my last full week of classes looming ahead (aka lots of papers and presentations due), I decided to just spend Easter in Winston Salem. I wasn't planning on any Easter dinner plans, just a nice relaxing day by myself until Erik, my neighbor and classmate, texted me yesterday at around 4pm and was like "We're thinking about doing Easter dinner tomorrow. You gonna be around?"

Let me just say that Easter dinner with 5 MBA aged men is a lot different from family dinner back in Pennsylvania. The hit of the meal was the person that brought Stouffer's Mac N Cheese because "making real mac n cheese is so tough. I don't understand why anyone would ever do it." We did actually sit down at a table which was up for debate for some time, but one person at the table was sitting on an end table for the meal because they didn't feel like bringing in another chair. We did, however, leave the Braves game on TV. Conversation topics were also very different from family Easter as I'm not sure we've ever discussed cults, steroids, middle earth, ninjas, Brett Favre's genitals, or cherry cola flavored condoms at my family Easter.

Happy Earth Day!

It's time for my annual 25 easy ways to love your planet post. I may be reposting some things I've already said before, but that's just because I think they're really important. Plus I want to remind you of some of the basics for some of my new readers. These are all things I do myself. I was reading a facebook post where someone suggested showering in nature in the rain. If you're all about that great. Frolicking naked outside in order to save water doesn't really fit into my life though, so here's some things that do.

1) Cold cook your pasta. I'm starting off with a ridiculous one here, so bear with me. When I read about this in the green cookbook my mom got me, I thought there was no way this would work, but it does. Bring you water to a rolling boil, put the pasta in, put the lid on, turn off the burner and cook for the time directed on the box. The secret is to not peek and keep the heat trapped under the lid. It truly works. At least try it.
2) Check your e-mail on a smart phone or crackberry. It saves the electricity of turning on your entire computer.
3) Give green gifts. When my friend Eli had a baby (who is adorable, ps), a notice came out in the baby shower invite saying she was going to be using cloth diapers. I was more than happy to give her a gift certificate to help with that. It doesn't even have to be that drastic though. How about an organic or local bottle of wine for your next hostess gift?
4) DVR your favorite shows and fast forward through the commercials. Less time with the TV on.
5) Give up your bath poof for a traditional wash cloth. Not only will it save that plastic from the landfill, but poofs have been shown to trap germs and bacteria if they aren't replaced every 3 weeks. (and really, who replaces theirs every 3 weeks?)
6) Buy the Mega rolls of toilet paper. Less waste, and less having to change the roll. Win Win.
7) Pack your lunch using a reusable lunch bag and containers rather than eating out. Saves money too!
8) Learn to drink tea (or coffee...but I haven't gotten there yet) without sweetener or creamer. When I went to China, a lot of times sweetener just wasn't available for tea and I realized how much more I could taste the tea. It saves all those little pink packets from the landfill and is better for your body too.
9) Don't transfer meals to serving bowls. Just have people serve themselves out of whatever you cooked in.
10) Pay bills online or by phone. Saves the paper of checks and the gas associated with all those bills having to be delivered by mail.
11) And while we're on the subject of mail. Call someone rather than send a card to say Happy Easter or Congratulations on your graduation!
12) Save water when washing dishes. Here's how I do it. Start with a mixing bowl that needs washed (or other big container). Pour your dish soap in there along with a little bit of water rather than filling up an entire sink to start. Wash your smaller items (knives and what not) in there first and as you rinse you'll gain enough water to wash bigger stuff.
13) And if you have a dishwasher, put anything you can in that rather than hand washing. Energy star dishwashers are actually better for the environment than hand washing. Seems like a paradox, right?
14) Look for products made from recycled material. They are EVERYWHERE now!
15) Don't put food down your garbage disposal. Most people think this is better than throwing it in the trash. It's not. Of course the most green thing is to not let food go to waste and to compost anything compostable.
16) Look for "Made in the USA". Not only will you be helping our economy, but you'll help save the energy needed to bring that item to market. Did you know the average cotton polo shirt travels 14,000 miles before it hits the shelves?
17) Donate your unused stuff to charity. Not only will you be keeping clutter out of your house and waste out of the landfill, but you'll get some good karma by giving it to someone who can really use it.
18) Want to recycle something (like a computer), but unsure how. Earth 911 will tell you how to do it in your area.
19) Return wire hangers to the dry cleaner. They will reuse them.
20) Carpool. It's always more fun having a friend in the car anyway.
21) Allow your hair to air dry at least part of the way. Unless you're dashing out the door right after your shower (which depending on where you're going may not be an issue anyway), air drying is better for your hair and will save electricity.
22) PLEASE take your own bags grocery shopping. I have two purple reusable bags that I take with me to Wal-mart and that is normally sufficient for all my groceries. I forgot them last week and came home with 15 plastic bags...FIFTEEN!!!
23) Freeze the leftovers. If you live by yourself, like I do, cooking one time means that I have meals for about five days. But sometimes, I just don't want to eat baked ziti for five days in a row, so I freeze the extras and have meals for sometime when I'm time crunched or sick and don't feel like making anything.
24) If you're going to buy disposable plates and cups (which I would rather you not, but sometimes it's necessary), get paper instead of plastic of Styrofoam.
25) Pass the word along. Today is a great day to post something on your facebook page or remind someone to recycle. A little tip can go a long way. (My grandma now uses reusable shopping bags!) WINNING!

That's Scary

From time to time I post conversations that epitomize the relationships that I have with certain people (Danielle, my mom, etc.), just so you can get a better idea of the people in my world. Today, I went out for celebratory sushi (because did I mention I got into the University of Minnesota...woot) with Andy...here's a conversation that only gives you a slight view of this extremely complex relationship. Background: I have a band-aid on my index finger.

Andy: What did you do to your finger?

Me: Oh, my cuticle is just all red and hurty.

Andy: Cause you were stressed out and picking at it?

Me: No.

(Andy gives me a look of contempt)

Me: (Sheepishly) Yes.

(The look of contempt continues)

Me: I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

Andy: Don't apologize...

(I interrupt him two words in.)

Me: (to my index finger) I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

Andy: That's scary.

(I apologize if the formatting of this post is all F***ed up. Blogger is being a bucket of hell right now).

Native Vines

Yesterday Kathleen and I went to West Bend vineyard. I had been there before with Amanda 1, and so when I saw a fantastic deal on a tasting on Living Social, I bought it. After finishing the tasting, Kathleen and I sat out on the patio while I had a conference call with AirTran (yes, I had just finished a wine tasting, don't judge). It was only around 3 in the afternoon, and we decided rather than head back to W-S that we should visit some more vineyards in the area.

The next winery we went to was Weathervane vineyard. It was nice. They had some awesome fruity wines (of which I bought 4 bottles) and the only issue was we were waiting for their slushy machine to freeze some wine slushies which never happened.

We next looked to go to Native Vines. (If the web page doesn't load, that's part of the Native Vines experience.) We should've realized something was wrong when my Garmin couldn't locate the address, but our winery map had directions that we thought we could follow, so we just wrote it off as GPS's being stupid and went on our way. We got slightly lost...I still really don't know how. We finally saw a nice looking Native Vines sign on the edge of a wooded area and pulled onto a gravel driveway. The first thing we came to was a sketchy looking run down house with furniture on the front porch and stuff. Kathleen and I looked at each other but then saw another Native Vines sign pointing further down the road....whew...We came to another run down house...still not it...though the sketchy looking possibly former cattle barn with the tires stacked beside it and a haggard looking dog staggering around outside was. There were laminated poster board signs to show us where to park.

Kathleen asked if I thought we would get to take our glasses home from this vineyard (as we had from the other locations). I answered maybe plastic ones. We walk in and are greeted by a nice but somewhat sketchy woman who is in need of a good bra. The room is half tasting room and half office/storage area and smells faintly of cigarette smoke. In the tasting area, there is a big screen TV with the news on it, two tables with chairs, and a variety of random Native American art. She put two plastic cups infront of us and filled a paper dish with some crackers. We discovered the tasting was $5, but we got to taste like 15 wines, and actually more than that because after we were done with the list, she offered to let us taste anything again. At some points, she had to dig through boxes to find the wine we were supposed to taste next. We weren't sure how the wines would taste because she gave us the wrong names for some of the wines and there were some weird descriptions: "We did this one in steel, but it sucked, so I put a bunch of oak in it and now it's really oaky." "We kinda forgot about these grapes, and they were really shrively by time we got to them. I didn't know what to do with them, and my husband was like 'just bottle them,' so that's what we did." They were actually really good. There was only one that we dumped out without finishing. I'm pretty sure that if we had been like "you know what would go really well with this wine? Pot." she would've pulled out a baggie and rolled us a joint. At one point some small kids with juice boxes came in and ran around the office area. So if you're looking for a kitschy winery experience in the W-S area, check it out. Not sure what you're going to get, but that's the fun of it.

Proof of Concept

I've recently received some gentle suggestions that I need to blog. I don't really have much to post right now...it's been kinda boring around here.

As many people know, I like to bake cookies for my fellow students here at Wake. (Who doesn't love cookies?) I know this is going to cause problems with all of you not in Winston Salem who don't get cookies...too bad. Every once in a while I get e-mails from my classmates with links to recipes or ideas for recipes and something like "can you do this?" written in the subject line. Of course, I can do it. Most recently, I was sent this link. Yes, that's a chocolate chip cookie with an Oreo in the middle. So can I do it?

Of course I can. They were amazing! So now that I know it can be done (AKA proof of concept), next time I'm going to use mini Oreos because the original batch had cookies the size of small children. I'm also working on perfecting Andy's favorite cookies. I have the flavor down but have been asked "Can you give the cookies more integrity? (like literally; not like, the cookies are liars.)" Those cookies WERE liars. Aren't you all jealous that you don't live near me now so that I can perfect your favorite cookies?

Possibly the Best Letter EVER

This may possibly be the most entertaining letter from prison ever. I realize that we've had some very entertaining letters about shanks in the past, but this one is phenomenal. And since I'm feeling kinda mopey about not having a job/any sort of future plan what so ever, I thought I'd blog. "Hey, how are you? Im good...Im sitting here watching american pie on a 19' plasma (that's one big ass TV if it's 19 feet) from my bed eating ritz crackers, chedder cheese, summer sausage and mustard! samwhichs im so stuffed..it doesn't even feel like im in jail (and they wonder why these people have trouble holding down a job after they get out) i even cans moke a couple cigs here and there were not spose to smoke in blues (i have no idea what blues are) but my celly gets em! don't say anything about smoking we can smoke in browns (don't know what browns are either) though I'll be in browns in around a month..I can't wait! do you like country music? (random) I do now...I like your spring stationary its cute! (why thanks...I use up all my random stationary I had from childhood on her)

Well me and James's relationship is crazy (oh yeah!) I actually met him 2 nights before I went to jail this last time (ha...she has to differentiate which time she went to jail), we really liked each other and he was ther efor me in the beginning I called him everyday, he came to visit me every week, wrote, sent pictures everything he was spose to do and I only knew him 2 days (sounds like a perfect jailhouse romance) I can't even get friends I knew 20 year to do that for me (Meredith, if I go to jail will you write and come visit?) so I really respected him for that! Then I got greedy and told him I wanted $ on my books (that is greedy) and he wasn't feeling that (no shit, he wasn't feeling that) so he stopped answering my calls...he ended up coming to jail a couple months after that for a parole violation (oh, he is a good guy) and I found out and wrote him and we settled all are misconceptions decided to be together and start a family when I came home (oh dear GOD! BAD IDEA ALERT! BAD IDEA ALERT!) then I called a mutual friend of ours last week and she told me what like 4 (this may be a 9, can't tell, but I'm going with 4) other girls are doing for him too...I don't know if its completely true but I wrote him a mean break-up letter so I waiting to hear his explantion! Thats the short version...my lifes like a springer show

thats crazy about the shin thing (i told her about the cancun wrestler guy) you shoulda filmed it and put it on UTUBE (awww...she doesn't know how to spell youtube) Im about to watch 3 hours of Family Guy (alright...what do I gotta do to get thrown in jail?) I love Family Guy. I heard about foam partys they sound AWESOME...I will attend one in my lifetime (so is this before or after you start a family?) That picture (the one on facebook of her face all f***ed up) was the end result of the night I got the charges for fighting Rickay and "stabbing" her BF (really? we have stabbing in quotes?) did I tell you that? apperently she kicked me in the eye...I don't remember though thats the night I met James too (sounds like a wonderful evening) oh well thats a drunken fight for ya (how do you not remember someone kicking you in the head? Do you know how drunk you need to be?) lol (we just lol'ed her "stabbing" someone and then getting kicked in the face.) hope to hear from you soon."

A Slacker Post I was going to post my latest letter from prison or go through why I currently have 6 half drunk magnums of wine on my counter, but I'm too tired..I was also going to make cookies today and go to the grocery store, those things didn't happen either. I did, however, come across this while I was researching Craigslist for my advanced branding class. I highly recommend reading "Penis Measuring" and "Free Canoe-Not Seaworthy." Enjoy! I'll try not to suck so much later this week.

Bizarre Things

Here are two things that are related (you'll see), and just kinda make me go "What?!?!". I'm honestly not going to have a lot of comments on them because I really don't even know what to say, and I think the products will speak for themselves.

Breast Milk Icecream: I'm not sure what would ever make you come up with this flavor.

Breast Feeding Baby Doll: I'm pretty sure I didn't know what breast feeding was when I was that age. (Maybe that's because I'm an only child though). And never did I think "man, I wish I had a doll that I could breast feed."

Two Things to Note

1) Scary Johnny from Cancun friended LT on facebook but has not friended me yet. We can't figure out how he even found her, and his profile picture is super creepy.
2) I said something semi-mean to one of my classmates who looked shocked. He apparently still only knows my golden aura. Andy explained me to him by saying: "You know that thing that comes out of their mouths in Alien? Little do people know that she has an inner jaw of snark that might pop out and tear somebody's face off." Well said, Andy, well said.

Mexican Baggage Allowance

When you are about to land in Mexico, they give you a standard customs form. Listed on it is the allowable "Goods considered as personal baggage". As soon as I received it, I turned to LT and said "I'm keeping this because it's going on my blog." My comments will be in {} because there are already some () in the original form.

"Goods considered as personal baggage: Goods for personal use, such as clothes --including one bride trousseau {one what? do I own this?}--, footwear and personal toiletries and beauty products, as long as they are appropriate for the duration of a trip; {who determines what is appropriate for the duration of the trip. My mom goes through chapstick like it's candy. Are you going to tell her that 3 tubes of chapstick aren't appropriate for a week long trip? yeah, I'd like to see that} as well as baby travel, hygiene and fun accessories {fun accessories? also, do you need to have the baby with you?} such as car seat, portacrib, baby carriage, baby walker, etc. {were those supposed to be the "fun" accessories?} including their accessories; {big on accessories, aren't we?} two cameras or video cameras including 12 rolls of film or videocassettes; photographic material; two cellular phones or beepers or pagers; one portable typewriter; {hahahahahaha} one electronic personal organizer; one laptop, notebook, omnibook or similar; one portable photocopier or printer; one portable recorder and one projector, {wow...I can't have two projectors for my multi-media presentation? lame.} including accessories; {oh thank God, I thought I wouldn't be able to bring accessories with me} two personal sports equipment, four fishing rods {four? you need four fishing rods?}, three surfboards or windsurfing boards {now wait a damn minute here. I can only bring one laptop, but three surfboards? how is that at ALL fair?} and their accessories, {whew} trophies or recognitions that can be normally transported by the passenger; {oh, I can transport the shit out of some trophies and recognitions} one running machine and one exercise bike; {and I'm going to strap this on my back?} one portable sound recorder or player; one digital sound player or portable CD player and one portable DVD player as well as a set of portable speakers, and their accessories; five laser disks, 10 DVDs, 30 CDs or magnetic tapes, for sound playing {so no photo CDs? how did they come up with these numbers? 10 DVD's, but 30 CDs?} three storage software and five storage devices for any electronic equipment {I guess my photo CD's go in there}; books, magazines and printed documents; {but how many? you're not going to just let me bring unlimited books are you?} five toys {five? do you know how bored I'm going to get with only five toys? and what if I want Army men? I only get five army men? you can't have any good battles with only five army men....mmmm....army men) including collection toys and one video games console, as well as five videogames; one blood pressure self-monitoring device and one blood glucose self-monitoring device or a mixed device {what about accessories? I can't bring blood glucose self-monitoring device accessories? this is crap} and their reagents {is this a fancy word for accessories?} as well as personal medicine (in the event of psychotropic substances, passenger must show prescription); {well, I would hope so} one binoculars {not a pair, just one} and one telescope; two musical instruments and their accessories {how are we counting drums? is it like just one drum? or can a bring a drum kit? and does a triangle really count as an entire instrument?} one tent and other camping articles; {well, shit, anything over my limit I'm saying is a "camping article." centrifuge? camping article.} one set of hand tools and the suitcase, which may include one drill, tweezers, wrenches, dies, screwdrivers, cables, etc. Passengers older than 18 years may transport up to 20 cigarette packets, 25 cigars or 200 grams of tobacco {/marijuana} as well as up to 3 liters of alcoholic drinks and six liters or wine."

It's Horriable In Jail

First of all before I get into the actual content of this letter, let me set the scene by telling you that it is written on a money order deposit slip form with "Read Back" written on the top of it. Consider the scene set.

"Sorry it took so long ot write back but iv'e (not sure that's a real contraction) been waiting for stupid envelopes (shocking that you managed to find an envelope to write to my mom asking for money, but couldn't find one for me...hmmm...) I get my 1st commensary finally on the 15th I can't believe it takes so long its crazy no pen (yes there is no punctuation in this at all) I got this from some1 (didn't you get in trouble over borrowing a pen last time?) No toothpaste, deodorant its just crazy you couldn't even imagine how horriable it is in jail! (isn't that kinda the point of jail? to be horriable? err...horrible? you thought I had a typo in my title didn't you...sillyhead) Thank God you'll never come to a place like this! well my minimum date is nov 21st 2010 (was?) and my maximum is 11-21-13 (yes, she wrote out one date and did a numerical date for another) so since Im over my min Im eligable (spell check hates letters from prison posts. I'm sorry, spell check.) for parole but I have to be classified 1st which takes about 3 months (from here she goes into a whole rambling boring part about how she'll probably have to go to rehab and be there longer than her lawyer said....I'll skip ahead.)

I broke up with my boyfriend today (while in jail? ouch) cause I think he's using me. (using you for what? YOU'RE IN JAIL!!! ...don't worry, I asked, so hopefully will find out an answer.) Im always getting used by guys it sucks (I...I...don't even know what to say here. She has done NOTHING but use people in my family.) So what did you end up doing for spring break any funny stories (Oh..you have no idea) Does Danielle still work at the Hollywood casino? (yes, unfortunately) I figured that everyone has a picture of them sitting on the toilet so I said why not me too and I though it was funny so I put in on there. (There being facebook in case you missed my last letter from prison. Can I just take a brief survey? How many of you have a picture of yourself on the toilet? How many of you have ever thought about taking a picture of yourself on the toilet? Thought so.) Did you see the one with my eye all messed up? (yep, asked about this too, so we should get details on that.) I can't wait to take a bunch more picture and post em up and check my facebook (oh, I can't wait either!) Well im gonna go... Love you"

Cancun: Foam Party...Good Clean Fun

I have to get this final day blogged because I just got an AMAZING letter from prison in the mail. So where was I? After ditching Johnny, LT and I made our way down the path in our hotel to the elevator. (We followed the same journey every day).

Very Mayan, isn't it? As we were walking and taking pictures, some guys with a room beside the path called out to us. This is when we met Alex and Jeff, two Naval officers that were on vacation in between assignments. Both were grads of the Naval Academy, so I had to suffer through some college football shit talking. Alex was stationed in Hawaii (awful, right) and was cutely awkward. Jeff was stationed in Florida, likes Syracuse basketball and the Buffalo Bills (at one point later in the evening I believe I sang Fly, Eagles, Fly at the foam party), was obnoxiously sarcastic (perfect, right?) and was wearing a shirt with this on it.

This then became the theme for not only the evening, but the entire trip...Sorry. Winning. They asked us if we were going to the foam party. Of course, we said that we were. Then they tried to make us some drinks of like cherry juice and vodka out of their Brazilian friend's room (come on, you didn't think I could get through a whole post without a Brazilian making an appearance, did you?). We discovered that they had run out of ice, and that warm cherry juice is disgusting, so we made plans to meet up at the central bar later and then head over to the foam party.

LT and I go up to "change our clothes". That's what we told Alex and Jeff, but we ended up just laying with our legs up the wall, and I drunk texted some people. (Can't wait to see that cell phone bill! Yeah, texting from Mexico!) LT and I also decided that Alex and Jeff were probably the chaperones that we had been searching for to make sure we would get to and from a party safely. a) They seemed semi-reliable. b) They spoke English. and c) They didn't try to get in our pants within the first 10 minutes of conversation. We didn't change clothes and were questioned about it when we met up with the guys at the bar. We went and watched some weird Australian drinking game for a while and then decided we should get our tickets to the foam party. The foam party was at a club attached to the Grand Oasis (which was right beside the regular, non-grand Oasis that we were staying at).

For those of you who have never been to a foam party, let me explain. It's at a club with a sunken dance floor and then they pump sudsy laundry soap-esque foam into the dance floor part. While the foam party was awesomely fun, there are some draw backs. 1) Foam gets EVERYWHERE. I was wringing the foam out of my hair and for days afterwards everything smelled like foam. 2) When you're short, sometimes you nearly drown. A couple of times the foam would suddenly be above my head, and I would be choking on foam until I pulled myself to safety. 3) You have to take your sandals off or risk losing them in the foam, and walking around barefoot on a dance floor I couldn't see kinda grossed me out cause sometimes I'd step on cups and stuff...ick. 4) The foam dries out your skin. Following the foam party, I went through an entire thing of lotion and two things of chapstick. My entire face peeled off from it.

We're foaming it up. I'm dancing and all the sudden I turn around and there's Johnny. He whispers in my ear that he wants me to go to the beach with him...I turn him down cause by this point, he's kinda creeping me out. We dance some more and then leave. I love that when we go into the lobby of our hotel, they have towels ready for us to wipe off some of the foam...kinda a futile effort though.

So anyway, the next day, I feel like death. We have to go look for LT's wallet which was lost sometime between the foam party and waking up the next day (we find it eventually). We check out of the hotel (after a little discrepancy about some damage that may or may not have been done to our room...ha). Business class to Atlanta, barely make it on the flight to Raleigh, drive home and get back to my apartment at 2:30am...Wonderful trip!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

I know I haven't blogged about the final day of cancun (and foam), but I had to blog this. Will you look at how green that bagel is! It was delicious too. I also went to McDonald's for a Shamrock Shake but those bees-itches at my McDonald's didn't have them. I'm thinking about dying my Chicken Noodle Soup that i'm having for lunch green as well. The final foam day may be blogged today because I'm sick and will not be going to class (i will however be watching plenty of basketball).

Day 3: The Non-Foam Related Part

Day 3 was the peak of spring breakyness and was so chock full of fun that I'm splitting it into two parts--non-foam and foam. Also, I realized I don't really have any pictures to go along with this day's narrative (probably for the best), so you are getting a random picture of the beautiful beach. Basically the morning follows our normal routine: breakfast and beach. It's actually not windy nor cloudy (at first) and so it's quite a beautiful beach day all around. Because there is less wind, the surf is also less choppy, and we spend more time in the water which is fine by me. It starts to storm at one point (thunder and all) and while a lot of people seem not to care, LT and I decide to head in for lunch. We lunch out the storm and then go to the pool. Instead of choosing our normal quiet, peaceful pool spot, we were looking for some entertainment and so went to the "party" pool area which was near the bar and DJ.

We realized at this time that apparently the guy/girl ratio has become about 4 to 1, and anytime either of us were alone it seemed to signal fair game. For instance, LT went somewhere for a few minutes and soon after she left I had a guy seal walk in the shallow end of the pool up to where my chair was. When I told him I was waiting for my friend, he said that I made him cry. LT got back, and we decided to get drinks at the pool bar. We get in, and we are suddenly surrounded by about 8 guys that are from Mexico City and part of a bachelor party. We have lots of drinks and learn a bunch of inappropriate words in Spanish and some Mexican drinking games. It's good fun until it starts to rain. I have a tough time getting LT inside because apparently our Mexican friends want her to go to the beach. By time I get her out of the pool, it's really raining. We start to run, but with slippery flip flops, I face plant directly on the pavement, skinning up my knee. We make it into the bar by our lobby, blood streaming down my leg. Our Mexican friends are there as well (I try to pretend I don't notice the bloody gash on my knee) and we make arrangements to meet them later that night. (This meeting never happens).

LT and I go back to the Italian restaurant for dinner (after changing of course). There was actually a wait at the restaurant, ugh...while waiting, we meet more guys. This guy Johnny takes a liking to me. He's originally from Lebanon, but living in Canada. Johnny and his friends get called that their table is ready. He tells LT and I to come with them...we go, but obviously there is no room for us at the table. We go back out and wait for our actual table. About 5 minutes later, Johnny comes out and asks if I want to got to his room for 5 minutes (really, only 5 minutes?...and....no). I blame LT who is drunkenly talking to some other guy. Finally we get called for our table, which oh how lucky is located next to Johnny's. Johnny comes to our table and hangs out. He asks for my room number at least 5 times and somehow I manage to give the same incorrect room number all 5 times. Some other guy brings LT a flower that he apparently picked outside somewhere and tries to win her over which is not happening. Johnny's food comes to his table, and I convince him to go eat. Less than 5 minutes after he leaves some other guy comes and sits down at our table. LT somehow convinces him that he should dance with me. Next thing I know we're twirling around the restaurant to the music from the band. LT doesn't miss out though as some guy pulls her up from her chair to dance as well. (SN: it's not like anyone else is dancing...just us...which is fine.) After the song ends, we sit back down and Johnny is back at our table...my God! I mean I was wearing this amazing turquoise dress, but I had to practically beat guys off with a stick. I told Johnny that we needed to change clothes, but would see him later at the foam party.

Up next...good clean fun...get it...cause it's a foam party...ha

Day 2: Spring Break...Ohio State Style

As we were heading back to our room the afternoon of Day 2, LT turns to me and says "We're doing spring break undergrad style." She paused for a moment and then added "not just undergrad style...Ohio State undergrad style." I love this quote for two reasons. 1) It somewhat bashes Ohio State...which I completely love. 2) We all know exactly what she means. Whereas doing spring break Notre Dame style probably means doing a service project in some third world country, spring Ohio State involves general debauchery.

We wake up, slightly hungover from the night before (must've been LT's signature drink The "Skip and Go Naked" which did me in..SN: at one point, we learned how to say skip and go naked in Spanish). Luckily a buffet with a bunch of fantastic breakfasty foods, random Mexican food, and a bunch of fruit is just what the doctor ordered. Nothing really exciting happened that morning. We went to the beach. It was really windy and sand was pelting us. For lunch, we went to an Italian restaurant and had this delicious pesto, garlic cheese bread, and a fantastic caprese salad. After lunch, we moved to a spot by the pool where it was a lot less windy. I took my regularly scheduled afternoon nap, read part of a book and then saw this coming towards us.

Except also add a guy with lederhosen and subtract the lady in the visor. Yes, that would be Duffman, a wrestler and a guy wearing some sort of weird hat (frog, maybe?). LT turns to me and says "i hope they don't come over here." Well, before we knew it, the lederhosen guy is lounging on my legs, and LT is trying to explain what a Kindle is to Duffman. They're trying to tell us that they're Italian, German, and Norwegian and pretending to speak the appropriate languages. Turns out their actually Brazilian (told you there were a lot of people from Brazil running around.) Next thing I know the wrestler guy, points to a bruise on my shin, tells me that it's "dangerous around here" and says not to worry that he'll kiss it and make it better. This wasn't a little peck on the leg either. This was like a full on make out session with my shin. He also does a "body shot" off of my shin which is basically one of his friends pouring a drink over my leg, and him lapping it up like a dog. We talk some more. Lederhosen guy tries to make out (unsuccessfully I'll add) with LT and Duffman shows me his tattoo of Sponge Bob drinking a bottle of liquor and smoking a joint. They eventually leave.

We go to the Mexican restuarant for dinner and are seated by some really drunk undergrad girls who repeatedly do shots of tequila. They say things in spanish that really don't make sense ("Mas tequila, mucho por favor gracias senor"), try to get the waiter to do a shot, and try to make out with one of the mariachi band members. The one girl also talks a bunch of crap about marketing because she "worked in PR for a whole year" and so knows everything about everything. I almost throw down with her on marketing knowledge, but decide it wouldn't be worth the trouble. We eat way too much food and do several shots ourselves.

That's my attempt at an artistic post tequila shot picture. While everyone seems to be going to Senor Frogs for a glo party, we decide not to go (a mixture of tiredness, burntness, tummy fullness, and cabbies and blow anxiety), and I fall into a food induced coma.

Cancun, Day 1

In undergrad, I never really did the spring break thing, so I guess this was meant to be my epic, ridiculous spring break experience...and it did not disappoint. This blog will only recount what I believe to be blog appropriate (PG rated/non-incriminating) content (and yes, there is actually incriminating content). So if you want ALL the scandalous details, you'll have to ask. And if I believe you won't think less of me because of those scandalous details, I'll fill you in.

Onto Cancun, Day 1. Cancun Day 1 actually begins with Raleigh Day -1. Our flight was at 6:15am out of Raleigh-Durham, so Lauren (LT) and I decided to stay overnight in Raleigh rather than have to drive that whole way in the morning. We checked into a Residence Inn at around 11pm and set our alarm for 4:15am....lovely.

Got business class from RDU-ATL...and then flew to lovely Cancun. As soon as we arrived, we could tell that the weather was going to be awesome. We checked into the Oasis Cancun. I was a little nervous about this because some places this is listed as Oasis and some places it's Be Live Cancun. People had given it reviews from excellent to horrible, but the horrible ones weren't so horrible and for the price we got, figured we could put up with the negative things people were saying. Our room wasn't ready yet so we got our all inclusive bracelets and went to find some food. We went to the buffet restaurant. There was SOOO much awesome fruit...like this.
It said it was a pomegranate, but I have never seen a pomegranate like that. It basically looks like snot covered seeds. It didn't taste like pomegranate either. They also had the best guacamole I've ever eaten (great guac in Mexico? shocking!). I think I had guac every day I was in Cancun. We finally went to our room which was fine except for this picture in front of my bed.

He is totally groping that woman....jerk. There were pictures like this all around the hotel and LT and I began making of stories about all the people in them. That picture was of Jose and Maria, and he totally knocked her up. (Maria's pissed off mom was on another wall of our room.) Also can it really be considered a room with two double beds if they are pushed together and have one headboard?

We decided to change to go to the pool. At this point, LT realized she didn't have any swimming suits with her which is kinda important in Cancun. We went to the gift shop, and LT bought a crappy swim suit for $95. Price gouging at its best.

We went to the beach which was great (we also started drinking at this point...hey, it's free, right?). Then we went to the pool and watched fantastic undergrad drunkenness. (girl's bikini tops "accidentally" falling off, drunken dancing on the bar, etc.) After showering and changing, we went back to the bar and met our first group of Brazilians. Little did we know at this time that the resort was pretty much overrun with guys from Brazil. We were informed that everyone was heading down to "the strip" for the Flo Rida concert. LT and I were a little nervous about going there because while everyone told us how much fun it was and how safe it was, they would then follow that up by telling us that the cabbies would probably try to sell us blow. LT would always ask if they would feel ok if they're girlfriend by themself down there and the unanimous answer was "well...no." So after going to the sushi restaurant for dinner, we continued to drink at the hotel because a) it was free and b) no one would try to sell us cocaine. We had some wonderful drunk bonding conversation. We then turned in fairly early because we were still tired from our early morning flight. I know this day doesn't sound very interesting...trust me...it gets better...and the non-blogworthy edition, 10X's better.

Hot Yoga

Since my meeting originally scheduled for noon has been pushed back to 1pm, and since I had not planned on doing anything else at this time and am already on campus (sn: got interrupted by Andy's gf Katie and so that is why this wasn't posted until like 9 pm at night), I will tell you about my bikram aka hot yoga experience. I first learned that there was a bikram place in Winston Salem when Andy asked me if I wanted to go last year. I had no idea what bikram was and so went to the internt in search of answers. I discovered that it's yoga in a 105 degree, 40% humidity room and by all accounts makes you "feel like you are dying." Considering that feeling like I'm dying does not sound like fun nor does it sound like it's healthy, I passed.

Then just a few weeks ago my friend Lauren (aka LT) told me how she went for an introductory period and yes, you do feel like you are dying, but it is great. Now knowing that I could have a bikram buddy to lead me through what I needed to do and bring, and having a witness that actually survived, my curiosity was peaked and I decided to go to Bikram Winston Salem.

Ok, first, you bring a towel, your yoga mat, water, and as minimal clothing as possible without reaching a level that will disgust those around you. I was sweating as I was rolling out my mat. It's is simultaneously awful and amazing. I rotated between feeling like I was going to pass out or throw up and sometimes both. I have never sweat that much in my ENTIRE life...combined. Afterwards, my body was exhausted but my mind completely awake...an unusual combination. Woke up the next day feeling sorta hungover, but I went back and did it again, so I recommend trying it at least once.

And When You Think It Can't Get Better...

"Well when I went to courth ont he 8th I got sentenced 24-60 months state (holy crap) but with 26 months and 14 days credit which is awesome (wait, it's awesome that you've been in jail for 26 months? did I lose count? wasn't she out for like a brief period in there...confused) that means im over my minimum date and alls I have to do is go upsate and parole home!! (she made the exclamation points into smiley faces) so i should be home no later then 4-6 weeks so I'll prolly leave on the 24th to go upstate so you might as well wait fo rme to writ eyou when I get up there to write me back (awww...I'll be waiting eagerly). I can't wait to get up there its so much better. the stupidest thing happened to me on the 12th when it was time to lock in (oh boy!!!) this girl was spose to give me a pen (read: shank) so when we were locking in she said she couldn't find it so i ran to the 2 cells next to me (I feel like this is not allowed when you are "locking in" though I've never been in jail...just kinda an instinct) to grab one and they wrote me up on some bogus stuff (cause the police are out to get you right?) then I was being all cocky like 'oh well I'm going upstate on tuesday anyways' (lemme guess...prison guards don't take kindly to backtalk from their prisoners? shocking) and I ended up being in the hole now for 10 days. I'm sad about that. (I really kinda wish there was a picture of the hole cause I'm pretty sure that what is in my head is not actually what the hole looks like until its 15th century Europe.) maybe I can take a trip down to NC to visit you soon after I get out. (isn't there like a no going out of state thing? and are you supposed to get...oh...what's that thing called...a JOB!) that would be AWESOME! (oh you have no idea). I wanna go see Aunt Jan too ASAP. (I'm sure Aunt Jan would love that...Uncle John on the other hand...would not.) Hot yoga seems HOTT LOL. (jeesh) Maybe I can do that with you sometime (no) but I really don't like to be hot or sweaty (that may be an issue with hot yoga) I can't wait for you to send me pictures. I love pictures. Did you ever friend me on facebook and check my pictures out? (unfortunately yes. There is a picture of her on the toilet on her facebook. Two things about this that concern me...1) why would anyone take a picture of themselves on the toilet? 2) why would you then post it on facebook? Also, her friends are super sketch and there is another picture of her looking like she's had the crap kicked out of her.) Well I guess I'm gonna go for now, I'll write you when I'm upstate."

Having My Life Back

Today is the first day in a month plus that I finally feel like myself again. While my living room is still somewhat of a mess with Marketing Summit clutter, everything else has finally caught up. I want to thank all my great friends for putting up with me not returning phone calls, listening to my neurotic discussions about hating my clothes, and other generally un-JSto-esque behaviors (not to mention my hiatus from blogging). It's nice to be back. (I purchased a picture of a martini glass with gummy bears in it off of etsy to celebrate the occasion.)

Most Awkward Moment of the Weekend

No, it wasn't when my dad went to hug my Aunt Nancy and she went for a handshake...though that was awkward. It was when my mom and grandmother decided to watch Step Brothers with me. Even though the testicle/drum shot did not make it past the censors, all the other vagina/penis references did...If you want to get the full effect, just watch this scene and picture your grandmother sitting on the couch across from you.

The Not Top 10

I'm ba-ack....Finally getting back to normal. To kick things off, I thought I'd do the not top 10 from marketing summit.

10) The double blister I got on my toe. No matter how comfortable heels are, if you wear them for 12 hours, you're feet will hurt.
9) The aftermath of the excessive drinking I did on Saturday night. Sunday I thought I was going to die.
8) Wake Forest winning 3rd. Still that's $5K, but they had pretty high expectations and then were all grumpy.
7) BYU winning the fan vote...AGAIN.
6) Deacon Tower elevator issue #1: When we were delivering things to Deacon Tower and people got stranded in the elevator. Not me though...so that's ok.
5) One of our suites in Deacon Tower smelled like ass...it seriously smelled like someone took a dump in the corner. They said it was something to do with the plumbing.
4) Deacon Tower elevator issue #2: When I got the call that the elevators weren't working and everyone was stuck on the 5th floor. I literally dropped all my shit in a stairwell and sat on the first step and called and yelled at people till the elevators were fixed.
3) Deacon Tower elevator issue #3: When the elevator got turned off after kickoff so I couldn't get back upstairs to where my purse and car keys were. Did I mention is was also cold out and I wasn't wearing a coat or shoes? I stalked some scary looking employee in the parking lot until he let me in.
2) When the giant $75K check went missing, and I LOST MY MIND. Luckily, Andy was really the only one the saw the main part of my freak out.
1) When a woman at my table for the sponsor dinner choked and had to have the Heimlich maneuver done on her. You can't make small talk after that.

Random Thoughts

1) Tilda Swinton creeps the shit out of me.
2) I just friended someone who I have no idea who it is and she just left a "it's been so long. How have you been?" message on my wall. Do I try to figure out who it is or just go on pretending like I know?
3) Milkshakes and excessive drinking do not mix.
4) Chicken fingers and excessive drinking on the other hand do.
5) After watching the Black Swan, I felt like I had just seen someone disembowel a puppy. Great movie. Not sure I could watch it again.

A Quick Apology

Marketing summit has officially taken over my life. With that being said, I guess i'm going on a blogging hiatus until February 6th. (Unless of course something utterly ridiculous happens). See you then!

Psychotic Thought of the Day

Did you ever stop to think about how miserable the Virgin Mary must have been on the first Christmas? She's ridiculous pregnant and has to be shuttled through the desert on a donkey with probably sand all in everywhere. (Joseph probably gets lost along the way and refuses to ask for directions...that part got left out of the Bible.) She finally gets to Bethlehem and finds out there's no room at the inn (wasn't someone supposed to make a reservation?) and that she gets to experience "the miracle of childbirth" in basically a cave surrounded by livestock...and yet she looks so serene in all the nativity scenes.

Christmas Came EARLY!!

That's right, my friends, I got a letter from prison!

"Hey how are you doing? Im ok, Aunt Jan said she thinks your a lil stressed out from working too much. (Well, Aunt Jan would be right!) I can see that. (Can you? Since you have never worked two consecutive days in your life...somehow I'm skeptical that you know what stress even is. I'm sure running from the police is very stressful though.) you do have ALOT on your plate. Thats what I'm gonna do when I come home so I stay busy so I don't have a idle hand or mind. (why do I not believe her?) I decided i'm gonna go to school for cosmotology. its only 9 months at empire beauty school mon-fri 9-4:30pm then i'll be able ot get a part time job from like 5-9pm. (::sigh::) that only worrys me about how im gonna attend AA meeting (you know what worries me? how terrible your spelling and grammar is...that's what.) I'll only be able to do like 2 a week on my days off!! (I just started laughing because I remembered how one of the Girl Scout leaders I used to work with referred to AA as "the drunk society".) i wanted to go to one everyday! But I may not be able to join school right away so I'll see!

yea its really cold in here...prolly colder then it is outside! I'm glad you had fun ziplining, I'm gonna do that some day in the jungle! (of course you are...and I'm moving to Mars on Monday.) So you like wine...(I feel like there was some sort of judgment in that sentence. Who is she to judge me?) I really don't have a taste for it. It tastes old or something to me! you know they can make hooch in here! (don't worry...I've already followed up on this for more fun details). How tall are you? (5'4"...still the tallest girl in the family. At our last family picture, someone yelled "get in the back, tall girl." at me) I'm 5'1". (Random) Let me know what happens at your school b-day! "EVERYTHING" (I think she's going to be disappointed since there was no police, hard core drugs or stabbings at it). Well I hope you have a fun Christmas and Safe. I guess I might not hear from you for awhile. I have a visit here on Christmas and New Years Day (bahahahaha) there Saturdays if you or Aunt Jan or both you guys wanna come see me!! (bahahahahahaha) you have to be here by 2:30pm with 2 forms of ID just in case (shucks...i left my second form of ID in my other pants.) Well I guess I'm gonna go...Love ya."

Birthday Party #1

As many of you know (or should know), I turn 30 on Dec 30th (not the 28th...AMANDA 1! not the 31st...DANIELLE! But the 30th). I am celebrating pretty much the entire month of December. Last weekend I had my first (and potentially best) party of the semester. By friend Kathleen is the party guru of the 2nd year class (and probably the entire Wake Forest Schools of Business). She throws the best parties and does so on a regular basis. She was of course the obvious choice to host my party. The party was AWESOME. It was awesome for multiple reasons.

1) The food. Kathleen always has a great spread of food. I love the Mexican dip she makes and she also has these little squares of cheese that are just the perfect size and amount of cheese for Ritz crackers. Awesome!

2) She got me a cookie cake. Do you UNDERSTAND how much I LOVE cookie cakes? Plus I like make cookies for school and so it's also rather fitting for someone to give me a cookie.

3) The people. It was sort of a random mix of people that never really hang out together which was kind of fun. There was the normal Kathleen party crowd, and then people that were on my team last year or work with me for marketing summit...it was great
4) The jello shots. My Marketing Summit co-chair, Ryan, makes the BEST jello shots EVER. Two days before the party he send me this.

That's the jello shot prep. He makes cherry jello shots that actually have cherries in them and are topped with Chocolate Hershey Magic Shell. A-MAZING. For my party, he made new ones that were pina colada...yum. They had pineapple jello, coconut rum, and a piece of pineapple in the bottom. I had about 13 jello shots on Friday...std dev of 1

5) The ice luge. Kathleen has an ice luge that you pour a shot down and have your mouth waiting at the bottom. I was an ice luge virgin until Friday night. I think I still need to work on my technique though.

It was just an all around great party!!

Separate Note: Can you believe I've been blogging for 5 years?!?! Oh how far we've come. If anyone has any personal favorite posts from the past 5 years, I'd love to hear what they are.

Mitten Zipping

This story actually begins about a month ago, I think when someone in my class discovered that Groupon was offering Mitten Zipping at over 50% off. So instead of costing $90 to go, it only cost $40. Of course, the first question was "what in the crap is mitten zipping?" ...since any mittens I've ever seen have not had zippers. When I discovered it was zip lining over Christmas light displays, I knew it was just ridiculous enough that I had to do it. I talked Kathleen (who experienced the ridiculousness of the Dixie County Fair with me) into going.

Last Sunday, we cashed in our groupons and went to High Point, NC to go mitten zipping. It was probably the coldest night we've had in North Carolina all year. I thought I got frostbite on my one toe because when I got home and removed my shoes, it was completely white while all my other toes were a healthy pinkish color. But I guess it warmed up because the next morning when I woke up, it hadn't broken off. It was not only cold, but unbelievably windy. Some of the platforms we stood on in between the 10 zip lining lines were actually swaying.

There were 6 other people that went on the tour with Kathleen and I and 3 "flight instructors." One of the people on our trip was Penny. Penny was loud and chatty, and so by the end of the 2 and a half hour excursion everyone in the group knew more about Penny than they wished. Especially that she could really use a cigarette and was scared of heights.

The lights were nice, but honestly when you're zip lining down, you're paying more attention to how far away from the station you are and how fast you're going than looking at all the pretty lights below you. It was nice to watch the light show while I was weighting for my turn though. On some of the towers, rather than having steps, they had "climbing walls" which was just basically random pieces of wood nailed onto a sheet of wood placed at an angle. These were extremely annoying to go up and we found out that they had to put them up because Guilford County told them their stairs were 1/4" too short and wouldn't pass code. Luckily (or unluckily for us) there is no code for a climbing wall and so they just put those pain in the ass climbing walls over the stairs. (And somehow that's safer according to Guilford County?) After our zip lining tour they gave us hot chocolate and marshmallows to roast on a fire. It was fun and is definitely a great story to tell in the future.

Up Next: my school birthday party.

Letter From Prison

I also have to blog about my zip lining experience, but I have a lot of other stuff to get ready, so I'm going to start with something easier...a letter from prison. My comments will be in ().

"Hey, how are you doing? I'm ok...I had a pretty good Thanksgiving...I got 2 trays (oh the joy of having 2 trays for thanksgiving) and they gave us real turkey (as opposed to turkey nuggets?), stuffing, yams, corn, cranberry sauce, a roll w/ butter and a pice of punkin pie (mmm...love me some pices of punkin pie.)...so how did the caramel apple cake come out? (fantastic, thank you, Paula Deen) It sounds really good (and it was). I love food, awe that's sad about China. (um...first of alli don't know why this is separated by a comma. Second, this is about how I was talking about how we saw really poor people living in tent cities and digging through trash and stuff.) Thats prolly why theres alot of brothels and human slavery (what kind of TV has this girl been watching?) I heard ND won, Yaay I'd like to see a game @ Yankee Stadium sometime. (I feel like there's a lot of things she'd like to do sometime.) There was a Jay-Z and Eminem concert there I really wanted to see. I want to go to time squre also sometime (ugh...squre? isn't that like a second grade spelling word?) Whats your fav. drink? and whats your fav bar in NC? what type of bar is it? (uh, well, drunky, I'm not sure, let me think about it.) I'd love to go ziplining. (and that's 600 things you want to do) I thought you do it in jungles usually? So what are you doing for x-mas this year? Its so cold in our cell, its like below 0 degrees. (I think someone exaggerating a little) I think they actually have the AC running. We have to stay under our covers all day and night long. (So basically in jail, you get to do what i've been hoping to do next weekend?) and were on lockdown for some reason today and I was spose to call nan. (too bad for nan)."

Oh..haven't you missed that?

TV at a New Low

I watch a lot of crap on TV: Operation Repo, Sister Wives, Billy the Exterminator, Hoarders, etc. But this may be an all time low. I swear this is a real show.

Bridalplasty: "Twelve brides-to-be compete in wedding-themed challenges to win plastic-surgery procedures. In the opener, the ladies move into a mansion, and they each create a plastic surgery wish list with a surgeon before taking part in their first challenge. One person is voted out by the other brides."

Quotes of the Day

Yesterday was filled with some very memorable quotes. (These quotes should not be read by minors or anyone with a prudish disposition). The names have been held back to protect the innocent (or not so innocent).

"Because I like to put out. I find it enjoyable."

"This may end of being one of the worst experiences of business school...and I was roofied in China."

"well, looks like I have to go suck a dick now, so I guess I'll talk to you later."

And They Lived Happily Ever After

This is a continuation of my previous Princess and the Mixer post.

The beautiful/smart/caring/humble princess had waited patiently for her perfect mixer to come, but to no avail. She was forced to be the slave of the evil mixer no matter how much she begged for her mother the queen to purchase her the gallant Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer. But just when she was about to give up hope, Princess Amanda 1 informed the mixerless princess of the land of Amazon. The princess ventured to the land of Amazon on the special festival of sales known as "Black Friday" and found a shining white Kitchenaid Artisan Stand Mixer that she could take back to her kingdom for her very own. Then she was able to make magical cookies for all the subjects of her kingdom without fear of an evil mixer causing her doom. The entire kingdom celebrated, and they all lived happily ever after.

Best Gig EVER

Last April (approximately) I went to this women in business conference where the keynote speaker was the CEO of Spanx. She said that we could sign up to be wear testers. I put my name and e-mail address down ,never expecting to hear from them BUT I was wrong. Friday my first wear testing item came. Nothing like having a FedEx guy come to your house and hand you free stuff. The instructions were to wash and wear it as much as possible and fill out the survey by yesterday. Uh...Spanx...can we get a clue? Like two days? I can only possibly wear it twice and wash it once (which I did cause I want to prove that I'm an awesome wear tester so that they'll send me more stuff!) Oh and of course I get to keep it. Anyone know a shoe company that needs wear testers?

Making My Standard Even Higher

Also if you have "guns" listed as the first item in the "5 things I can't live without" section, I'm not dating you. Change that if you have guns listed anywhere in your 5 things I can't live without I'm not dating you....exceptions may be made if your occupation is listed as Military, Security, or Police. I know you really may just like hunting a lot, but I feel like there are 5 things you should like better than guns.

My Mom

My mom just described how the Notre Dame volleyball team is playing as "sucking out." Someone's been watching too much World Series of Poker on TV.

The Top 10 Signs You're Too Busy

Yes, it's still been crazy around here. Here's how I know it's crazy.

1) You find a half eaten bowl of cereal that you started to eat yesterday and then got distracted before finishing it.
2) The reason you were eating cereal is because you haven't had time to go to the grocery store, so it's the only thing in your cupboard (other than powdered sugar and soy sauce).
3) Cereal is a step up from the day before when you realized at 4pm that you hadn't eaten lunch.
4) You've been sleeping next to a pile of clean clothes that you just haven't put away.
5) You forgot to check the mail...for three days.
6) Your electric bill is less than $30 because you're never home.
7) Your DVR has started deleting things because it's full.
8) When someone asks when you can have lunch or dinner together, you have to look three weeks out.
9) You want to take a bath in your jacuzzi tub but decide it will take too much time.
10) You're doing homework during the Notre Dame game...a cardinal sin.

Alas, it doesn't look like things will be slowing down anytime soon. Luckily I wrote this in 3 minutes!

Good Morning, Orion.

Every morning when I go to the gym the constellation Orion is right outside my front door. I know that it's Orion because this is the ONLY constellation that I can identify. And thus is the only one that does not make me feel inadequate as a Girl Scout. So why do you care? Does anyone remember the "Orion is a Arising" song from 5th grade music or am I just making that up? It gets stuck in my head like EVERY morning. (Apparently I'm not making it up since someone else sang it in 5th grade too.)

Simple Pleasures

It's been a little stressful lately. We still don't have a sponsor for the marketing summit (and I realized that the sponsor announcement was today-Oct. 13th-last year), I'm signed up for a Ph.D. fair next week and still have no idea what schools I'm interested in, and it's the end of the first mini so I have a lot of projects/exams/whatever else due. It's in these stressful times though that I'm especially thankful for the little things. So here's my top 10 simple pleasures from the past week.

10) Fried Reese's, Hypno Dog, and a swimming pig at the Dixie classic fair. I would later regret the fried Reese's as it sat like a lump in my stomach for the rest of the fair.

9) Popsicle in the shower after Dawn with the Dean. I love popsicles in the shower and I don't think it can get much simpler than that.

8) Unexpected care package from Carmen: fuzzy socks, a magnet that says "if the shoe fits, by it in every color" and a box of Swedish fish. It's nice to have friends that know me that well.

7) Unexpected letter from prison. Yes, that's right, folks. After 2 1/2 months in there, she's finally written me.

6) Two and a half hour phone calls with friends

5) Having first years walk to the pizzeria and bring pizza, garlic knots and mozzarella sticks to the bar.

4) Being told by drunk people that I'm their "most favoritest" and that they "love me". It's nice to be drunkenly loved.

3) a really good game of Bejeweled.

2) A Notre Dame win. It's so good to win a football game (even if it's against a crappy team).

1) The fact that not only does the waiter at the sushi place know Andy and my "usual table", but he also knows our order and starts the dumplings as soon as we walk through the door.

::sigh:: I'm so thankful that I can stop and enjoy the simple things even when everything around me is crazy.

Are My Standards Really THAT High?

This post is actually going to be one main post followed by two other random posts. First, the main post. I'm on an online dating site (save your mockery for later, please), and one of the guys says that he enjoys "a intelligent conversation." Really? "A intelligent conversation"? Jeebus. Is it too much to ask for someone that is single, between the age of 26-34, taller than 5'4", no kids, doesn't smoke, has something other than "does odd jobs to pay the bills" listed as occupation, and enjoys AN intelligent conversation? Oh, the irony that you use poor grammar when discussing intelligence....if it had been done purposely, it may have been funny. Sadly, it wasn't.

Random post 1: I got home from the gym today, pulled off my shoe, and noticed a red spot on my sock. I panicked, thinking I had somehow bled through my sock (flashback to my ballet days). Actually, a vitamin had just somehow gotten into my shoe and the red coating had rubbed off.

Random post 2: Does it bother anyone else when people from one commercial are in another commercial? Like I just saw the guy who plays the sun on the Jimmy Dean commercials in a commercial for building websites, and it really, really bothered me. You can be starting a website for your small business, YOU'RE the FREAKIN' SUN. Planets need to revolve around you and stuff. So get off the internet and get back to making Jimmy Dean breakfast foods for everyone.

WTF??

So I'm sure that a lot of you have heard of Kegel exercises. If not, google it. But what I did not know is that there's actual weights for that. The Kegelcisor, really? What?

Psychotic Thought of the Day

Before I start this long overdue psychotic thought of the day, I just want to thank all of you for being great during a drama filled first month of school (special shout outs to Eli for the phenomenal tailgate, Amanda 2 for the great care package and Mere for hitting the trifecta-booze, shopping and sports-in Baltimore). Hopefully all that craziness is behind me and things will start to calm down...signs don't seem so sure lately.

Now onto the psychotic thought of the day. I actually had this over a month ago (I said it was long overdue). I was at a Girl Scout event in PA and made this.

It might look like nothing, but it's actually a cast of a deer hoof print that I found. So dorky! I know. Anyway, after I casted it, one of the first thoughts I had was this would be great to bludgeon someone with because it would make it look like they were trampled by a deer....what kinda sick person thinks things like that? I've been watching too much CSI.

Evil Shoe Update

Evil shoes are still being evil, so they are going to Goodwill (aka shoe exile.)

Quotes from this Weekend

This is going to be a fairly short post. I want to blog more, but I have been crazy busy...as in, not sure when I'll have time to eat dinner crazy busy. The only reason I have time to blog this is because the time I had set aside for reading my homework for tomorrow is vacant since my professor hasn't posted the reading yet. AHHHH. So here are two of my favorite quotes from this weekend when I was in South Bend for the ND/Purdue game.

1) This was in response to my facebook post about Wake Forest playing the Blue Hose. Apparently Presbyterian's mascot is the Blue Hose as in pantyhose. Not kidding. WORST MASCOT EVER! (I like that their website is www.gobluehose.com Sounds kinda like a website about cross dressing to me.) "Every time I hear Blue Hose I think of Smurf prostitutes." Get it. Blue Hoes...ha This was followed by an impression of Smurfette smoking a cigarette and just generally whoring around.

2) "I would turn gay for Sean Connery. He is 180% man. The most interesting man in the world WISHES he was Sean Connery." This was followed by more in depth conversation of the other people he would turn gay for and a discussion regarding how much/why Nicholas Cage sucks.

FANTABULOUS.

The Hierarchy of Swear Words

I'm watching Center Stage on TV right now...yes, I know it's a ridiculous movie, but I love it....and yes, I realize it's 7:53am.. Well, since it's on cable they've changed some of the swear words for TV. Like "bitch" has suddenly become "buster." Fab. But they also switched "shit" to "hell"...really? When did "shit" jump "hell" in the hierarchy of swear words.

You should all realize what I mean when I'm talking about the swear word hierarchy. There are some words that while you shouldn't say them if you're 5, really aren't that bad (at least in my opinion...maybe if you're a fundamentalist Christian, but I'm not): ass, shit, crap, damn, etc. Then there's the words that you may use around your friends, but not around your parents: bitch, hell, dick, douche bag, etc. (Though this might not really be an appropriate measure since my family still regularly uses the phrase "bucket of hell.") Then there's the REALLY bad words that can only usually (unless you're Danielle) be referred to by their first letter: the f-word, the c-word, etc. So when did shit and hell switch categories? or is my hierarchy all f***ed up? They also censored "damn", but still left "hell."

Lack of Inspiration

It's so funny how sometimes I have everything in the world to blog about, and then sometimes I have nothing. It's been one of those nothing times lately. I had a psychotic thought of the day when I was driving to PA on Wednesday, but by time I got here it was gone. I was going to blog about the congratulatory letter that Danielle got from her OB/GYN for her excellent test results (no, she's not pregnant...that OTHER test that the OB/GYN does), but I feel weird blogging about that, so alas, nothing. No letters from prison. No crazy phone calls with my father. Just some random truckers in West Virginia honking and then waving at me, but that's kinda normal. And on Extreme Makeover Home Edition the other day, the builder's last name was Schwinghammer...are you kidding me? A carpenter named Schwinghammer! ::sigh:: I'm just bored in PA, so please SOMEONE do something/say something/e-mail me something witty and hysterical, and it WILL be blogged about.

Kinda Awesome

I'm back in Winston-Salem, but I'm still doing some work for AirTran which means every morning I get "clips". "Clips" are basically any news article that has something to do with the airline industry. This morning I got this. It's so awesome that I'm going to summarize so that you don't even have to click on the link (you should though). This flight attendant (not AirTran) got into an argument with a passenger who accidentally hit him in the head with his luggage. The flight attendant went nuts and started shouting obscenities over the PA system, then grabbed two beers and went down the inflatable slide. While I'm not condoning what he did, haven't we all wanted to do something similar in a previous job?