How the Delinquent Stole Christmas

Sorry this one is so long, but there's a lot to catch up on. Christmas started out good. The drive in was as expected. I went out with some friends the night we drove in (martini happy hours are dangerous!) The only downside to that evening was nearly being molested by some taco-esque guy and taking about half an hour to unsuction a certain friend from some random guy when it was time to go. But, hey, it happens.

Then was Christmas Eve. A trip to the spa at Hershey. Which was fantastic and I'd do it every day of my life if I had the money.

Then came Christmas Day. It started off a bit rocky. We went to visit Grandpa and Grandma Sto at their assisted living community and got to hear all about the guy that farts at their dining table and how they're getting ripped off for their medication. But even that was ok because that's what normally happens when we visit.

The trouble really started when we went back to my grandma's and my cousin D (her name has been abbreviated to protect her identity; also because D stands for delinquent) arrived. First a little background, if you've been reading my blog you already know that D is an utter waste of humanity and got a car from my aunt for Christmas. Upon receiving the car, D told our family to just give my aunt money for the car and not get her presents. My family (being the loving people that they are) decided to still get her presents anyway so that she would have something to open on Christmas. A week before the holidays D revoked her offer for no presents and requested a Playstation 2.

Ok, enough background. Back to Christmas Day. D arrived early and looked about 50 pounds lighter than last time I saw her and looking generally like a heroine addict, not to mention smelling like a bar. My grandma suggested that D open her presents before everyone else arrived and chaos ensued. Upon seeing that she had merely gotten an ass load of presents, but not a Playstation 2 as she had requested only a week before, she remarked "Guess no one got me what I wanted." (Imagine a really bitchy tone of voice). Then grabbed her presents and stormed out the door. (Wait, that's not the end of the story)

On the way out the door, the bag her presents were in breaks and out of frustration and disappointment from not getting her Playstation 2, she throws everything into the snow in my grandma's front yard, picks everything up, throws it in her car and peels away. About 20 minutes later, half my family has arrived and D comes back. She spent the $20 my grandma gave her for gas money on scratch off lotto tickets. D is hungry and wants to eat. My grandma tells her she needs to wait till everyone gets there at which point D storms out and drives off for a second time (this time not stopping till she reaches the motel she's staying at in West Virginia).

Her little scene prompts my grandma, and two of my older cousins to go off to separate areas of the house and cry because of what a messed up punk D is. Christmas got a little better after that. We ate and played Mall Madness with my cousins, then one of them broke my grandma's antique Santa. The high point was when, while looking at 150 Disney World vacation photos, my 8 year old cousin yells "it looks like their humping" referring to two people in the Hoop Dee Doo Revue. Just be glad their my family and not yours.

I'm sure everyone wants to know about the interview. It was pretty stupid because all they did was do a specific interview from some sheet that involved a lot of "give me an example of a time you..." I hate those. Then they put me in a room and had me fill out a personality test. I hate those.

Well, better go pack for Tempe! Adios! GO IRISH!!!