The Perfect Babysitting Job

My uncle asked me to babysit Saturday night from 6-11. I said my only stipulation was that I could was that I can watch the Notre Dame/ Georgia Tech game...he said put the kids down in the playroom and watch the game upstairs. He's getting pizza for dinner and paying me $50.

Psychotic Thought of the Week

If I had escaped from prison, I'd sleep in cornfields during the day and travel by night.

Do you think they let people in prison watch Prison Break? Maybe I'll ask my cousins.

Disgusting Lunch

Today at lunch one of my coworkers showed me a piece of cheese on his sandwich that was full of dog/cat hair. He then proceeded to pick off the hair, and chomp down on the sandwich. I proceeded to lose my appetite.

Car Paranoia

I have two things that I'm paranoid about related to my car and last night they came head to head.

First, I'm paranoid that I always have a flat tire. I've been in cars twice where we've been driving on a flat tire and didn't know it until some pulled up beside us and told us or we got wherever we were going and oh shit, we've been driving on a flat tire. Every time we told the stories after that people would be like how can you not know? So now whenever my car feels bumpy on a seemingly flat road I think I have a flat tire.

Secondly, I get paranoid that people are following me. When I'm taking back roads and someone is on my tail for a long time, I always start watching them closely thinking that they could be following me. This just stems from being psychotic and watching too many scary movies.

Anyway, last night I dropped my mom and grandma off at like 9 after a long day of shopping. Even though my grandma insisted I should come in for a sandwich and/or a Klondike bar (why do grandma's do stuff like this?) Well at the first red light past my grandma's, this big Dodge Ram was right on my tail. (All I can see in my rearview mirror is the Ram on the front grill, that's how close he was). He stays on my tail every where I go on my very windy and backroads way home and of course I start thinking about where the closest police station is and if I have my cell phone on me. Then at a light, this car full of girls pulls up next to me and signals for me to roll down my window. Of course now, I think I also have a flat tire and I'm going to have to pull over and the Dodge Ram guy is going to take out a hatchet and slaughter me. But they just tell me that my one tail light was out (which it actually wasn't when I got home) and then the Dodge Ram turned the opposite direction a block from my home. And I lived happily ever after. The End

Things that Annoy Me

When the TV paper has a show listed that I really want to watch, but then when you go to the channel at the specified time, so crappy show is on. That really pisses me off.

Another thing that annoys me...not being able to think up a psychotic thought of the week.

Blogs Revisited

One of my favorite TV shows is Mythbusters and they always do a "Myths Revisited" episode, so I thoughtI'd do blogs revisited.

1) Football Tickets - 3/20/06: I've already sent in my money for the alumni football ticket lottery next year. I would suggest that any idiotic alumni that forgot last year do the same.

2) I Laughed Till I Cried - 6/10/06: I don't really have any updates on this, but I still think its hella funny.

3) Things That Annoy Me - 7/12/06: My neighbors now have 2 cars and take up 4 parking spaces with them.

4) Urban Striptease - 8/6/06: My stripper name is Brandy.

My Weekend

I was having a pretty good weekend until Sunday. I went to a play that my cousin Aubrey was in on Saturday morning. She had 4 lines and was cute and adorable. My grandma took us to Friendly's which is one of my favorite restaurants. Then I went grocery shopping with Danielle, which is always enjoyable trying to decipher her mom's list. (Does "2 cans beets- small" mean small cans or small beets? cause if its small cans why not just buy 1 medium size can?) Then I totally crashed Saturday night which was fine because I needed the sleep.

Sunday started off good. I made a cinnamon pecan roll from one of my Semi-Homemade Cookbooks. Then I started cleaning everything in preparation for my mom's arrival. I even dusted the top of all my hanging pictures and cleaned their glass as well. I was on my way to the gym at 2 when I realized that the meeting for work I thought was at 7 was actually at 1, and I would be an hour and a half late. That kinda sucked.

Things that Annoy Me

When my washer stops mid-cycle, full of soapy water and clothes and smells like burning rubber. Then it starts shaking and I'm not completly sure that its not going to explode. It didn't.

I'm Sorry, Millers

This is my apology to the Millers. I'm sorry that I got busy with my e-mail and didn't vote for you. I'm sorry that I thought hey, it's not that big of a deal the Millers or All That will probably win anyway. I'm sorry that I let that annoyingly sweet girl Bianca Ryan win the million dollars on America's Got Talent. I'm sorry that she's not even old enough to enjoy merriment and chicanery with the money and her parents will probably make her do something responsible with it like put it in a trust fund...ick! I'm sorry that this will probably cause you two to become estranged because the younger brother will start believing what Piers said and blame the older brother's inability to sing for your loss (not to mention the battle that will ensue over the use of the new car). It's all my fault because I didn't vote for you. And as David Hasselhoff tried to tell me the decision was in my hands. Too bad I didn't listen.

Lunch Bag, the Saga Continues

So to paraphrase the lunch bag situation so far, I bought a really cute purple lunch bag that really looks like a purple purse. My mom (knowing that I needed a lunch bag, but not knowing that I had already bought one) sent me a hideous lime green lunch bag that looks like something I may have used when I was 7 and it was the 80's (see picture). I didn't tell her that I had already gotten one.

My mom is coming in next week and will undoubtedly be snooping around my apartment. Do I a) pretend to happily use the hideous green lunch bag, b) tell her I found the purple one on sale really cheap after she had already given me the green one (a complete lie), c) do my best to hide both lunch bags and hope it never comes up?

Psychotic Thought of the Week

This psychotic thought of the week is related to my previous post in that I thought of it in the car on the way back from kickboxing. I think most of my psychotic thoughts of the week when I'm in my car. That's what they basically are...just random thoughts I think of in the car and then think, I can't believe I just thought that.

Anyway, if I were suddenly accosted, say in a deserted parking garage somewhere, would my kickboxing skills help me (like my wonderful jab, straight, hook, duck combination) or would they still find my dismembered body in a cornfield in Lancaster County? I think I would probably use my right hook to start out with as I feel that is my strongest punch...then closely followed by a knee to the groin (not learned in the class, but a personal favorite).

Kickboxing Class

Last night I decided to take kickboxing class at my gym and this girl I went to high school with was there. It was weird, and not just the normal weird I usually get when running into people from high school. This girl came to my town in 7th or maybe 8th grade from Russia and barely spoke any English. I still remember sitting on the school bus trying to get the word "snow" across to her. I didn't really talk to her that much in high school, but still said hi and stuff when I saw her in the hall. Well now, she doesn't have any Russian accent at all...in fact, she kinda has a Southern accent, and she talks really fast. It's just weird to me.

Has Anyone Seen This Box?

Somewhere in between the move from Indiana, my grandmother's house, and my apartment, I lost a box of stuff. In this box, is a mirrored tray, a dresser scarf, a shamrock sun catcher, a green bowl, a Notre Dame candle, a manatee snow globe, a picture of me and my parents, another picture that I'm not sure what is in it, but I know I'm missing the frame, and who knows what else. The list continues to get longer as I realize stuff that is missing.

Anyone Else See Similarities?

Does anyone else think Invincible is just Rudy remade with pro football instead of college?

Psychotic Thought of the Week

I was thinking of all the different competition reality shows on TV. There's competitions for comedians, singers, chefs, boxers, dancers, ice skaters, etc. Well, I've come up with another one. It's a cross between Nip/Tuck and American Idol. It's a competition between plastic surgeons. Think about it...every week they bring out several hideously disfigured/ugly people. Then the surgeons do their work and America votes...I guess the only problem with this is that we'd have to have a show only about once a month in order to give the formerly hideously disfigured/ugly people heal properly....but I'd watch it.

On another note, what is the deal with Maurice Clarett...he's a psychotic thought of the week all by himself.

Things that Annoy Me

The word "monies." Why not just use the word money? I don't get it.

Do Eggs Go Bad?

Last night I realized that my half dozen carton of eggs says best if used by June XX, 2006. When I moved into my apartment, my mom felt that I needed eggs even though I don't eat eggs except when used for baking. It was just one of those things that you need (milk, eggs, bread). Well, I've used one of the six and now they have "expired" though I really didn't know eggs could expire. Any thoughts?

Urban Striptease

My gym offers a class called Urban Striptease. It's held on Friday mornings, but I normally have to work on Fridays...I had off last Friday. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't for the teacher to tell us to create a "stripper persona" by thinking of a name and deciding whether we were a "good girl" or a "bad girl." I think the teacher is actually a stripper herself.

The class then learned about a minute and a half stripper routine (part of which is on your knees). And during the class such memorable quotes as "Long hair is an asset" and "Give them what they want" (that was as we were supposed to be writhing and sensually rubbing our chests) and "our goal is to make as much money as we can in a minute and a half."

Keep in mind that this classes is open to women of all ages. So of course you had the slutty 20 somethings that could possibly be/have been strippers, but then there's mom-like people there too.

This post is a little delayed because I was chaperoning at this Girl Scout Event at Raystown Lake over the weekend where I was scarred when the leader's decided to dance to "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" (which could possibly be one of the longest songs ever).

Speaking of scarred, my cousins are officially at Milton Hershey school; hopefully safe from further scarring by their messed up family.

Psychotic Thought of the Week

If I was Floyd Landis, and really was innocent and really did only have naturally high levels of testosterone in my system, I'd live in an isolated area under the supervision of scientists (maybe Biosphere 2...maybe not) and then after a month or two come out, be tested and clear my good name and tell all those journalists that doubted me to shove it.

If however, I was Floyd Landis and really had taken steroids and was just making all this stuff up, I would just go into Biosphere 2 for fun, but then not be tested for it afterwards nor would I tell anyone to shove it.

The 11 classifications of prostitutes

Last evening a received request from a friend to name the 11 classifications of prostitutes that I had learned in my criminology course in college (actually I was requested to name the 8 classifications, but I'm pretty sure there are 11). However, I could only name 9, so if anyone can think of two more let me know. (Did I mention that I loved that class?) Here are the 9 I have:

Crack Whore
Street Corner Hooker
Masseuse
Stripper
Bored Housewife
Dominatrix
Upscale Call Girl
Convention Hooker
Truck Stop Hooker

I think one of the final two might have something to do with a brothel, but I'm not sure.

Things That Annoy Me

I have two this week.

1) People who eat loudly. I know if you're eating crackers or carrot sticks there will be noise. But if your munching on a ham sandwich or ice cream, the noise should be minimal.

2) Mia Hamm

Church Sayings

Several churches in my area feel the need to put witty puns and saying on the boards outside their buildings. If you're a domer, think Officer Tim McCarthy with a religious twist.

Here's the latest "Forbidden fruits lead to a lot of jams."

Can Someone Please Explain?

Yesterday, there was a brief but pretty heavy thunderstorm. Because of this my aquacise class (which is held at an indoor pool) was cancelled because people can't be in the pool when it's lightening out. But it's inside? Can anyone explain?

Is It Wrong to Be Happy?

I just found out there was a major problem with a major event at my old job. It seems about 500 tickets were printed with the event time listed as 1:30, but the event actually started at 11:30. A lot of the people had been to the events before and showed up at 11:30, but there were still quite a few that showed up after the event was already over. What makes it even better is that I would have been the one to enter the information into the ticketing system had I still been there.

Psychotic Thought of the Week

You know how on Iron Chef America they sometimes take stuff out of the oven and immediately plunge it into an ice bath in order to "stop the cooking process." Well does that work for people too? Like if I'm at the beach and see myself getting burnt, but jump into a big vat of ice water does it stop the cooking process?

My Mom's Covert Mission

Here's part of a conversation with my mom from last night:

Mom: I made porkies last night with ground turkey instead of ground beef. It hardly tasted any different and it's cheaper and healther than beef.

Me: Why are you whispering?

Mom: Because your dad doesn't know and if he finds out, he won't eat it.

Things that Annoy Me

Coming home from a relaxing weekend at the beach to find that my airconditioner was leaking and soaked the floor of my closet. Luckily, it had just reached my shoes when I found it, so I saved them.

It's all Statistics

What is the percentage of times that I have locked myself out of my apartment after having gone to Border's with Danielle? 100%

What is the percentage of time that I have locked myself out of my apartment after having done anything else, but go to Border's with Danielle? 0%

I see a trend.

Another New Lunch Bag

My mom had heard that my old lunch bag was broken and decided to surprise me with a new one. It's lime green and has instructions in Japanese on the tag. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I already had a new really cute purse-like purple lunch bag.

Things that Annoy Me

When you're told for your job that your being assigned to hug puppies and then two days before you're supposed to go they change their mind and send someone else!! Seriously, I was assigned to hug puppies and then they told me no.

Look at that cute puppy. I could be getting paid to play with something like that, but I'm not.

Psychotic Thought of the Week

Whenever I go to a sleepover or anything with a group of people sleeping in the same room, I always sleep near the center of the room. That way if a psycho killer happens to come along he will most likely kill/mutilate the first person he comes to. No matter whether he comes in through the window or the door that person will not be me, thus giving me time to wake up and get away.

I'm ready

I want football season to start now!!

Already in Stores in State College, PA

The front says "Beat ND" and the back says:

A Little Anxious are we?

Someone Was a Little Angry

Today I bought a case of soda at the grocery store. I brought it home, opened it up and found this.
The weird thing is that the cardboard package was completely normal around it...so that leaves me with?

Things that Annoy Me

If you can't tell what this picture is, this is my neighbor's car parked exactly on top of the line in our parking lot. It has been there since last Saturday.

My Newest Project from Work

It's a fairy crown....duh!

Psychotic Thought of the Week

Before I die, I would really like to sit in a fancy, cloth napkin type restaurant, angrily throw my water in the face of the gentleman sitting across from me and storm out. I think it would be fun and dramatic though I must admit a little cliche.

PS I know I've had a lack of pictures/graphics lately. I have two pictures that I've been trying to post lately but blogger keeps screwing me over.

September 9, South Bend, BE THERE

I will be. :)

Did you know...

Hallmark makes a card for Potty Training...they do.

Stupid People

Today stopped at a red light I saw a mattress on the front of a mini van. It was kinda on the roof, but on the front part of the roof that sloped. It was being held in place by the driver and passenger holding onto the plastic around the mattress with their arms out the windows of the minivan.

Things that make it all worthwhile

Yesterday was a rough day at work for me. One of my coworkers has a husband seriously ill and will be off work for a couple of weeks (we're not sure exactly how long), so of course all her work gets dumped on me.

I got called in to work yesterday evening at a program called Project Mend. It's basically a girl scout troop at the women's detention center, so the moms can see their daughters and do activities and stuff. Well last night there was a new girl that we weren't sure if she would come because her mother and father don't exactly get along and the father doesn't want the mother to see her kids. She showed up and it was a complete surprise to the mother. There was hugging and kissing and crying. We found out the mom hadn't seen her daughter in almost 2 years and the only reason the dad let her come was because the daughter wanted to be involved in Girl Scouting.

That makes all the crap I had to go through yesterday worthwhile.

Psychotic Thought of the Week

It would be really easy to hide the sound of a gunshot during a fireworks display. I'm kinda surprised that hasn't been a CSI. Or maybe it has.

Things that Annoy Me

I have three and they all happened yesterday.

1) Guys in speedos and flippers that disrupt my calming swim by flailing around like a 5 year old.

2) The remote for my new TV doesn't have a back channel button. What kinda piece of trash TV doesn't have a back channel button? And even more annoying anytime you type in a double digit channel you have to press the _ _ button first or else it only recognizes the first number.

3) I went to Starbuck's yesterday to have my first Iced Caramel Macchiatto in about 3 months. This is very serious for me because before I moved there were 4 Starbucks on my 5 mile drive to work (2 on opposite corners from each other, and one across the street from where I worked) so you can only imagine how many Iced Caramel Macchiatto's I used to have. Well, I was very excited when I discovered a new Starbuck's yesterday, only to then have the girl make my drink incorrectly. I don't know exactly what was wrong with it. It was just wrong. Does Starbuck's have secret shoppers? Because they should.

Flooding

This is my grandma's backyard. The steps don't normally go into the water like that. Also, those trees are usually on the bank of the creek.

Creepy Yoga Guy

Did anyone else see that Law and Order (or another similar show) where the psycho killer guy with the foot fetish was finding his victims in yoga classes cause that's where he could see their bare feet? That's all I could think of when the scary old guy with braces showed up in my yoga class last night.

So if I'm suddenly found brutally murdered, but with a nice pedicure...tell the police to check that guy out.

Warning

I went to see Adam Sandler's new movie Click tonight. Besides becoming unexpectedly serious and emotional at one point it was pretty good. But I felt I needed to warn all of you. Sean Astin has a small part in it...and he's in a speedo. It's just so wrong to have Rudy in a speedo. So when Adam Sandler goes to his son's swim meet, cover your eyes. I know you'll be curious to peek, but don't do it!!

Psychotic Thought of the Week

If I were homeless, I'd go to Fazoli's and eat the free breadsticks. I've even worked out a thorough plan of how I'd act like I had ordered and was waiting for my food.

(So is the psychotic thought a welcome addition to the blog?)

Rain

I am sooo sick of rain. Normally I like rain. I like the noise it makes. I like to watch it (even the lightening) and I like the fact that I've convinced myself that psycho killers won't come after me in the rain. BUT this is ridiculous. It's been raining like forever and is supposed to continue at least two more days. It's not just a little sprinkle either. This is torrential (sounds like its coming through the roof) downpours. Roads are flooded. You can't see where you're driving half the time. It sucks. Some morons had their sprinklers on today. Uh...hello...we're flooding...don't you think the sprinklers are a little overkill?

The Stupid Thing I Did Today

This might become a weekly post along with "My psychotic thought of the week" and "Things that annoy me" posts.

Today when I took my car to be inspected, (Inspecting cars?!? What an ingenious idea!! Hello? Indiana? Can we get a clue?) I turned in my apartment keys with my car keys at the mechanic not thinking gee, how will I get into my apartment. Luckily, my grandma has my extra key!!

Boil Water Advisory

I just discovered that my area is under a boil water advisory. Not having cable TV, or listening to local radio, this was only discovered after I had chugged a huge thing of water upon returning from the gym this morning. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope that I do not get any of the nausea, diarrhea, headaches or intestinal cramping that may be associated with bacteria in my non-boiled water.

Things that Annoy Me

People that have aerobic induced tourettes. You know what I'm talking about. You're getting your ass kicked by some step aerobics or kick boxing class and there's that one lady also taking the class who lets out a bunch of "wooo's" and "Oh yeah's" and "Come on's". I had a lady like that today right behind me, but she was never satisfied with just one woo it was always three in a row. "Woo Woo Woo"...kinda like a train whistle...three times as annoying.

Betsy's Fortune

"Life is like a school, so try some of the curriculum."

Thunderstorms

Last night there was a big thunderstorm and I was wondering why people are so scared of thunderstorms. I feel safer in thunderstorms because no one is going to rob and kill you in a thunderstorm and get all the stuff wet that they just stole, not to mention leaving footprints all over the place.

That's my psychotic thought of the week.

A Sign Your Lunch Bag Looks Too Much Like a Purse

This morning when you go to put your sandwich in it for lunch, you realize that last night when you came home from work in a tired haze you put your cell phone and keys in it.

Summer Outreach

Today at Summer Outreach the girls were making "lip gloss" using petroleum jelly and pixie sticks. It was really kinda gross...like if you took your lip gloss to the beach and got sand in it.

Look at my new lunch bag. Cute, isn't it? I like purple...can you tell?

Father's Day

For Father's Day, my dad (who happened to be in from Indiana) chose to go to Panera. Who goes to Panera for Father's Day?

ONLY SPANISH SHAKIRA!!!

Disturbing?

Ben and Jerry's is making Black and Tan icecream---stout flavored ice cream and chocolate ice cream. This is no joke. I saw it first in the store.

I Got Paid

to go on a hike this morning with the city kids. The saddest part was when one girl said "what's a hike?"

What will they do when he retires?

If you can't read it, it says "Congratulations to Middletown's Ben Olsen 2006 U.S. World Cup Soccer Team Member." It is hanging downtown in my hometown. This is what my town has to celebrate. I guess they want to believe Ben Olsen negates the whole Three Mile Island thing and nobody really bought the whole Mickey Mouse was really invented here, but ripped off by Disney.

Not a bad picture for being taken while I was driving.

My New Purse

Look at my pretty new purse that I bought at the craft fair today. It was only $11 and is made out of a placemat which I think is totally cool. If you are lucky enough to be my friend and live in my vicinity you may be invited to a party to order your very own placemat purse.

I Laughed Till I Cried

Last night I saw one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time as I was getting ready to leave a friend's house. It involved her and a recliner. See the diagram below for exactly what happened.

Any questions?

My Friday Fear

We have the blessing of having casual Fridays at work. Almost every Friday, I'm driving to work and I think "Am I sure that it's Friday? I'll get to work and be in jeans and look like a complete idiot." My schedule is really random, but is it weird to think that EVERY WEEK? I'm thinking of keeping work clothes in my car just in case.

And you thought your family was weird

This is my grandma. Yes, she's wearing a skunk mask. The theme of my cousin's birthday was "Over the Hedge."

My newest project at work

It's made out of a coffee filter and it's a magnet. How cool is that!!

PS I've been trying to post this for two days and this is the first time I could actually do it!!

First post from my apartment

Well, the day has finally come. My first night in my new apartment. Complete with my purple couch. Though it does leave a little to be desired. My kitchen table didn't come because it was broken when it arrived in the store from the warehouse. I'm also watching Lilo and Stitch on a very small tv (those of you that went to college with me know exactly what small tv I'm speaking of) because my large tv is still in Indiana and I do not have cable yet. I just hope that I don't trip over one of the many still unpacked boxes in the middle of the night and break my neck!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Tonight at the Girl Scout Troop that I lead in the ghetto, we were talking about different cultures. Some of the girls were talking about their heritage (like one girl had ancestors from Puerto Rico.) One girl looked directly at me and said "My mom says I'm from God's country." How am I supposed to respond to that?

Katie Couric

First let me say that on Monday, I wrote this big rant about the show Clean House and this lady that was really upset when they redid her room, but it wouldn't save and I was bitter and that's why there hasn't been any posts lately.

In honor of Katie Couric's (who I think is a mindless twit) last day at the Today show. I thought that I'd share my favorite Katie Couric moment.

She was interviewing Kevin Bacon about his performance in the Oscar nominated movie Mystic River.

Katie: Do you remember when you did Footloose?
Kevin: Uh...yeah
Katie: Do you ever want to just dance around like you did in Footloose?
Kevin: Uh...no
Katie: I do.

They went on to talk about Footloose some more and never did get around to Mystic River. Did you ever see that SNL skit where Chris Farley has his own talk show? That's what it reminded me of. I expected Katie to say "That was awesome."

Adios Katie!

My Job

This is the necklace I made at work today. And it was actually what I was supposed to be doing and I was getting paid for it. The long beads are made out of paper. ::sigh:: I love my new job!

I Got My New Computer

That hopefully means more posts and now you can see pictures like this.

That's how high our seats were at the NCAA tournament. Yes, that is a heating duct.

I don't understand baseball fields

I really don't get why is is acceptable to have baseball fields that are all different sizes. I mean sure its the same distance around the plates, but the distances to the outfield wall are all different. It not only effects how easily home runs have to be hit, but also how far the outfielders need to run and throw.

Isn't this like playing football one place and having the field be 100 yards and going somewhere else and having it be 150 or maybe a little wider and somewhere else its 95 and narrow?

Mother's Day Chocolates

For those of you who have already heard this story, skip down for the update. For Mother's Day I decided to order some giant cashew turtles (called bearclaws-that's the picture) from this place called Kilwin's in Saugatuck, MI. My mom always sees them and remarks how yummy they look, but won't buy them for herself because they're too expensive. (They're not really that expensive, just in my mom's mind they are.)

They weren't available on the web so I called them the Monday before Mother's Day and they said no problem we'll ship some out. Friday, my mom still hadn't received them. I was giving Kilwin's the benefit of the doubt (they probably didn't go till Tuesday, there's lots of mail), but thought I should call to check anyway and see if they knew when possible delivery would be. Saturday afternoon Kilwin's called me back. They lost the order (they're remodeling). They'll ship them out overnight mail on Monday. That's great, but it's past Mother's Day.

I'm bitching to people about Kilwin's and how I'm pissed because my mom probably thinks I just didn't order them in time (which I did). And everyone's asking well did Kilwin's send any extra, are they going to refund some of your money, etc. and I say they didn't say.

I'm here to take all my badmouthing back. Yesterday I received a very large gift wrapped box of assorted chocolates and a note of apology from the owner. They're very yummy and made me feel much better about the whole thing.

The Yoga Didn't Work

I had one girl try to kick another girl in the head.

It's so hot

It's like 65 degrees out and my grandmother has the fireplace on. Thank God that I'm moving out in two weeks.

I'm teaching underprivileged kids yoga and tai chi to deal with their anger tonight...Should be fun.

Anyone else really glad the Hippies won the Amazing Race?

Serge the Singing Shark

Music and Lyrics by The Pink Shoe

I'm Serge,
The Singing Shark
I'm a shark
And I sing
I have a skeleton
It's made of cartilage
Because I'm Serge,
The Singing Shark

Rude Awakening

My psycho younger cousin called at around 6 this morning to see if we knew what size shoe her sister wears. She was at Wal-mart and wanted to buy shoes. This family just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

How Funny Am I?

Funny enough to get a shout out on the Pink Shoe's Blog!

Hidden Picture, cont.

I found it!

Hidden Picture

For my job, I've been trying to make a key for this hidden picture puzzle. Can anyone find the bat because I sure can't.

PS My job rocks!

Iron Chef: Battle Squid

When I watch Iron Chef America, I like to pretend that I'm open minded and would try anything they served up no matter how disgusting it really looks or seems. I mean, they're world famous chefs, it has to taste good, right?

I would even try the black noodles made with squid ink or the little squid meringue candy. But squid eye cartilage is where I draw the line. Especially then when the judge was like "uh, I loved the squid guts, but squid eye cartilage must not be my thing."

Magic Show

I went to this volunteer dinner last night and the theme was "The Magic of Volunteering." They had a magician there and everything. I would've enjoyed it if the guy infront of me didn't have a weird softball sized growth on the back of his head.

I work in the ghetto

Last week I went to the one school that I work at sometimes and there was a car in the parking lot that looked like a police car, but said Harrisburg City Schools on the side. It had four flat tires. This week I went back and it had four flat tires and the windshield was broken.

I was also looking on the Harrisburg City schools website and they have a position called "Sexual Harrassment Coordinator." That just doesn't sound right.

Dead Body

Last week there was a dead body discovered in the trunk of a car just a block from where I work. I think I may actually have walked by the car (while the dead body was in it) on my way to a meeting. Ick!

On good news, I found regular gas for $2.81!!! It's in the ghetto and I'm kinda scared of being shot as I'm pumping, but hey, it's worth it for cheap gas!

I Bought A Purple Couch!!

My younger cousin thinks she has bugs crawling in sores on her face. And my aunt doesn't believe she's on drugs because...?

My older cousin has been MIA for two and a half weeks. The police found the car she stole all beaten up in some sketchy part of town. She also ran up over $1000 on my aunt's Home Depot card. My aunt thinks she may be on drugs...huh, ya think?

My mom is coming

My mom is coming tonight. There is this lady whose husband works for my dad and she commutes between PA and IN every other week. She has shared custody for some kids back in PA so one week with the kids in PA, next week with husband in IN. Weird, I know. (Not as weird as the prof that commuted every week from San Antonio, but he was like a big Hispanic priest teddy bear, so I won't make too much fun of him.) Anyway, my mom is driving in with that lady.

I can't decide whether this is good or bad because she'll buy me all this stuff, but she's exactly like my grandmother so when they are together its like a double douse of mom.

Yum, Vietnamese

I have Veitnamese for the first time in my life today. It was yummy. The restaurant was a Vietnamese restaurant/French bakery which is a little weird.

The lady beside me had curry, and the smell reminded me of the Anthro department's annual goat roast. (The first time I had curry). Did anyone else ever go to that? I went because I had an anthro class and the prof invited us. They would carve up this goat using stone tools that they had made by hand. All the anthro nerds were really proud of their tool making skills. The food was really good though.

What type of town do I live in?

There is a live bait vending machine downtown in my hometown. It looks like a soda machine except it has pictures of fish on it.

Also, yesterday at the grocery store I saw a camouflage truck (and it was not military related in any way).

Have no fear, Irish fans!!

Yes, it did rain, but luckily PSU has an over hang from its upper deck that kept us nice and dry, but only after we were already drenched from walking around outside.

The Den of the Enemy

As it was once referred to by one of my friends, is where I'm headed tomorrow. State College, PA. I'm going to the Blue & White game. I feel like some sort of traitor going to that on the same day as the Blue & Gold game. Just think of me as a scout. It's supposed to rain though. Here's the conversation when I got invited to go:

Danielle: You want to go to the Blue & White game with me
Me: Sure
Danielle: Do you know what the Blue & White game is
Me: I'm assuming it's like the Blue & Gold game, but at Penn State

Amazing Race

Was anyone else really scared for the Hippies? I was. I know they have to take all their stuff, but can't they at least let them keep their lucky frog hat? How 'bout those old people?

Anyone else realize I post a lot about TV? Speaking of TV, I might miss the medical emergency on Survivor tonight. :(

The Apartment

An application will be filled out today for the apartment. My lease, however, will not start until June 1st. SO STOP ASKING ABOUT IT!

Uneventful Easter

It was a rather uneventful Easter for me. Sure there were lots of cousins running around, but really nothing exciting happened. (Except for when the dog got loose and ran across the highway and we chased her through the woods.) The two cousins that would've really spiced things up were missing (as in literally, no one knows where they are). Sorry so boring.

In other news, I think I found an apartment, but who knows when my stuff from Indiana will be making its way here, so I'm on hold for right now.

Jell-O Eggs

I'm making Jello eggs tonight!! Yummy, Eastery goodness! I think I'm just making the one color kind cause there have been issues when I try to make the two color kind.

Stinky Clothes (cont.)

The Febreeze worked...kinda. Now the shirt smells mostly like Febreeze and only slightly like dog, cigarettes, and BO. I'm thinking of trying to secretly Febreeze my coworker.

The smell of Febreeze reminds me of a former college roommate who thought that Febreeze could take the place of doing laundry.

Stinky Clothes

One of the ladies I work with was nice enough to sell me some of her daughter's old uniform parts (mostly different tops). So that I wouldn't have to go spend $50 on a stupid blouse that I'm only going to wear once a year.

The clothes however smell like a mixture of wet dog, cigarette smoke and BO. I already washed them and it's a little better but they still smell. Hopefully some febreeze will do the trick. The worst part is that the lady smells like that too!

Quincenera dilemma

Yesterday the lady that I share my office with gave me an invitation to her niece's Quincenera. For those of you who don't know what that is, in the Hispanic Community it's very popular to celebrate a girl's 15th birthday instead of the sweet 16 (and apparently there is also some church ceremony to go along with it.)

My dilemma is: do I go?

Reasons why not to go:
--it's not even the lady's daughter, it's her neice
--I've only been working with her for a week
--I have to work that morning and would like to do something fun that afternoon
--I'm not sure what's expected of me at a Quincenera (do I bring a gift?)

Reasons to go:
--it's the first work outing I've been invited to and I don't want to seem anti-social
--the lady I share my office with is very nice and I don't want to be mean
--a bunch of other people from the office are going
--it could be my only chance to see what this whole Quincenera thing is about

Please submit thoughts/suggestions

24

Does anyone still watch 24? Didn't we all know from the very beginning that the president was behind the whole thing? Also, I feel really bad for the innocent banker that got killed last night. He was nice.

Sorry, I don't have much news lately, but don't worry I have a family Easter dinner this weekend.

Back in PA

Sorry no posts lately. I don't have internet here and don't want to get fired from my new job because I'm inappropriately using the internet. But just wanted to let everyone know that I got here safely (even though I was out in hurricane like conditions in Indianapolis. They made us stay in the first floor hallway of our hotel for two hours the one night. PS Final Four sucked!)